Bernie Borges | Personal Development | Midlife Fulfilled Podcast
127

Ep 127 Personal Development is Misunderstood Possibly to Your Detriment

Give yourself permission to explore personal development. Those whom you impact through your growth will be glad you took that action step.

Welcome to episode 127, a takeaway episode from my conversation with Dr. Richard Mitchell on episode 126 about the power of personal development. Three key points we discussed are:

1️⃣ Finding Fulfillment in Career Transitions
2️⃣ The Impact of Burnout on Your Personal Life
3️⃣ Pursuing Personal Development

I am convinced that personal development is not an option, especially as we navigate through our midlife seasons. But, personal development is misunderstood. I think many people don’t really understand the meaning of personal development.

Recently, on episode 120 Eric Wiechart shared the conversation he had with his son-in-law when Eric was going through the 9-month-long ILI program on campus at U of ND. His son-in-law suggested to Eric that he was being selfish by doing this educational program, for personal development. He said that by not being available to attend his grandchildren’s activities, he was being selfish.

Eric said it was a healthy conversation. He thought about it and discussed it with his fellow attendees at ILI and they helped him frame it up. Here’s how he framed it up for his son-in-law.

Eric explained to him that he is at a point in his life where he needs personal development in order to grow and to be useful to everyone in his life, including his grandchildren.

In other words, an investment in personal development is more than an investment in oneself. The growth that we can and do experience through personal development has an impact on other people. Those people can certainly be your family. They can also be your coworkers, your employees, or even people who benefit from a charity that you may decide to support or in some cases, new charities started by someone who discovered their calling for it through a personal development experience.

When we invest in our personal development, we’re investing in the legacy we will leave. It doesn’t have to be through a charity. It could be just in the way you treat others through a new lens as a result of self-discovery, in a personal development experience.

My Challenge to You

If you’re dealing with a lack of growth in your life, give yourself permission to explore personal development. Don’t allow some ill-conceived stigma to prevent you from taking a step to find a resource to help you on your personal development journey. You’ll be glad you did, and I can assure you those whom you impact through your growth will also be glad you took that action step.

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Episode Transcript

Bernie Borges [00:00:00]:

Hello, my midlife friend. This is Bernie Borges, your host of the Midlife Fulfill podcast and this is episode 120 seven, a takeaway episode from my conversation with doctor Richard Mitchell on episode 126. And as a reminder, you know the drill. These takeaway episodes are no replacement for the entire conversation. So if you didn’t listen to episode one twenty six. I wanna suggest that you pause this and go back to the previous episode. And first, listen to my full conversation with doctor Richard Mitchell. Now before I get to my one takeaway that I wanna cover with you, I wanna recap 3 key points that we discussed on episode 126.

Bernie Borges [00:00:45]:

Point number 1, finding fulfillment in career transitions. Richard had a diverse career path. He was an army officer, and from there, he was a bicycle tour director, and then he went into education. And these career transitions highlights the fact that we all seek fulfillment in our professional lives. Number 2, the impact of burnout on personal life. Richard shared his personal experience of burnout as a school administrator and how it affected his relationships outside of work, namely his marriage. So burnout is not just confined to the workplace. It can have a very significant impact on our personal lives as well.

Bernie Borges [00:01:31]:

And point number 3, pursuing personal development. Richard attained his doctorate degree, and he eventually realized that his true passion is coaching others to help them navigate through burnout and find their own fulfillment. And this is where I wanna land for my takeaway for this episode. You know, I’m convinced that personal development is not an option, especially as we navigate through our midlife seasons. During our midlife seasons, we have So many experiences, so many changes, and some cases, big life changes. In Richard’s case, He achieved a big career milestone by getting his doctorate degree, and he also experienced a big life change in his divorce. It’s so tempting to try to compartmentalize our life between our professional life, meaning our career, and our personal life. And as Richard painfully discovered, the demands in his professional life had a negative impact on his marriage ending in divorce.

Bernie Borges [00:02:37]:

I think personal development is very misunderstood. At least I’m speaking for myself. But even so, I think a lot of people don’t really understand the meaning of personal development. So let’s look at these 2 words, personal development. Personal is rooted in the word person, and person refers to your whole self. Person doesn’t segment between professional and nonprofessional. It refers to all of you. Development is rooted in the word develop.

Bernie Borges [00:03:17]:

Well, What does it mean to develop oneself? Simply stated, it means to grow. And, unfortunately, many people in midlife aren’t thinking about growing. Often, we’re thinking about the next promotion or the next business deal or The obligations to attend our kids’ events or just making the monthly mortgage payment. For some, The thought of personal development is synonymous with, I don’t have time for that. Here’s an analogy. Maybe you can relate. In business, It’s said that if your business isn’t growing, it’s dying. But what if we adopt that mindset in our whole self? What if we say to ourselves, if I’m not growing, I’m dying? Now I don’t mean literal death.

Bernie Borges [00:04:08]:

But what if we came to the understanding that if we’re not growing, we’re seriously hurting ourselves and by extension, We’re hurting those around us. You know, recently on episode 120, Eric Weichert shared the conversation that he had with his son-in-law when Eric was going through the 9 month long ILI program. ILI standing for Inspire Leadership program on campus at the University of Notre Dame. His son-in-law suggested to Eric that he was being selfish by doing this educational program four, personal development. He said that by not being available to attend his grandchildren’s activities, he was being selfish. Now Eric said that it was a healthy conversation, and he thought hard about it. And he discussed it with his fellow attendees at ILI, And they helped him frame it up. And here’s how Eric framed it up for his son-in-law.

Bernie Borges [00:05:07]:

He explained to him that he’s at a point in his life where he needs personal development in order to grow and listen for it and to be useful to everyone in his life, including his grandchildren. In other words, An investment in personal development is more than an investment in oneself. The growth that we can and do experience through personal development has an impact on other people. Those people can certainly be your family, but they can also be your Your coworkers, your employees, even the people who benefit from a charity that you may decide to support, or even in some cases, new charities started by someone who discovered their calling for it through a personal development experience. Think about that impact. You know, it’s safe to say that when we invest in our personal development, we’re investing in the legacy that we’re gonna leave. It doesn’t have to be through a charity. It could be just in the way that you treat others through a new lens as a result of self discovery in a personal development experience.

Bernie Borges [00:06:22]:

Richard said that when he coaches others, he commonly helps 6 people build or strengthen their confidence. He said that this is often what’s necessary for their personal growth. And often, we struggle with not knowing how we need to grow. That’s also very common. So don’t beat yourself up if that’s you. The key is to explore the option of working with someone like Richard who can help you ask the right questions and find the answers in order to discover what you need to discover in your own personal development journey. So my challenge to you is this. If you’re dealing with a lack of growth in your life, give yourself permission to explore personal development.

Bernie Borges [00:07:08]:

Don’t allow some ill conceived stigma that you might have to prevent you from taking a step to find a resource to help you on your personal development journey. You’ll be glad you did. And I can assure you that those whom you impact through your growth. We’ll also be glad that you took that action step. Hey. Let me remind you that you can watch my entire conversation with doctor Richard Mitchell on episode 126 on my YouTube channel, and that is linked up in the show notes page. While you’re on the show notes page, don’t forget to download my midlife career reboot workbook whether it’s for you or for a friend. My next guest episode features Tim Washer on episode 128.

Bernie Borges [00:07:59]:

Tim discovered his calling in midlife when he realized that he has a gift that he wasn’t using. And he realized that not using his gift was not only cheating himself but cheating others. Tune in to hear Tim’s story and don’t be surprised if it hits home for you in some way. You know what time it is, my midlife friend? It’s that time when I remind you that if you’re 80% fulfilled, you’re doing great. If you wanna know how I know this, listen to episode 100 where I explain this. I’ll see you on the next guest episode, episode 128 featuring Tim Washer. I’ll see you then.

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