Bernie Borges [00:00:00]:
Heather and Joel, welcome to the Midlife Fulfill Podcast, a vulnerable conversations episode.
Heather Johll [00:00:06]:
Hey. Grateful to be here. Thank you, Bernie.
Bernie Borges [00:00:09]:
Thanks for joining me today, Heather. Well, Heather, let me, tee up our conversation again. It’s a vulnerable conversation episode. I really enjoy these conversations so much, and I know a little bit about your story. So looking forward to really getting into it. You have a you’ve had a storied career. You’ve got over twenty years experience in operations leadership. Currently, you’re the vice president reporting to chief accounting officer at Ascension Health.
Bernie Borges [00:00:37]:
You’re the lead for outsourcing transformation and accounting and reporting. Previously, you were a senior vice president of operations for a company in the business process outsourcing industry, also known as BPOs. So you’ve had a storied career. You’ve lived in multiple countries. You’ve always been driven by passion and delivering excellence and results, but you’ve also reinvented yourself. And that’s really what I wanna discuss is that journey, that process, like, the why and the how of your reinvention. So, Heather, start wherever you wanna start.
Heather Johll [00:01:11]:
Sure. So I’ll start with the kind of the spoiler alert here. I was three hundred and eighty five pounds five years ago. And I’m, by the way, a hundred and forty five pounds effective this morning at, like, 08:01AM when I checked to see where I’m at. And and, you know, that could be the story here. That could be, the whole conversation. But, what I’ve learned in this process is this whole this this journey of learning and becoming, what I thought was gonna be, oh my gosh. I need to lose some weight.
Heather Johll [00:01:50]:
I’m sick, and it’s hard for me just to be, turned into, oh oh, gosh. I need to go to counseling. Where is my, you know, physical health at? Where is my financial health at? Spiritual health, mental health. And all of that that journey of learning and becoming, I think it landed us here today.
Bernie Borges [00:02:18]:
Okay. So you said that that was five years ago. Mhmm. That’s where you were compared to where you are now. So let’s unpack that journey a little bit. How did you approach it? I can’t imagine, Heather, that you did it all by yourself. I can’t imagine that there weren’t loved ones and, liked ones and just other people in your life that were a part of that journey. So maybe you can begin to unpack that a little bit.
Heather Johll [00:02:43]:
Sure. So as you mentioned, I was in the BPO industry, for a a solid twenty years and had a very successful career. You know, my quite honestly, my weight never defined me. My my intellect and my drive to to be better, to learn, to to overcome has always been present. I think it’s been present since I was a little kid. I think I learned that, just just growing up and and being a a farm girl in Wisconsin. But, if if I were to go back and capture the change, I I recall being sitting in my office, in Fort Lauderdale, and I did a great job, great mentors, lots of fantastic leaders that worked, with me, for me, next to me. And I thought, is this it? Like, is this what I’m doing, for the rest of my life? Or is this all I can do? Was probably the the greater question was, like, am I just going and I’m not saying just because BPO work business process outsourcing is a very challenging, very rewarding career.
Heather Johll [00:03:57]:
You get to wear many hats, and you get to live inside of many cultures, and you get to lead fantastic people. But I thought, is that my is that it? Or can I do more? And as I was sitting there and I was, you know, quite frankly, physically diabetic, high blood pressure, all the things, and I thought, you know, what if I just change everything? What if what if? Where would I go? And when you talk about learning and becoming, I want to become healthy, and and I wanted to to feel good when I woke up in the morning. That was my my initial goal. And I realized that the life I was leaving, I would have to abandon that life. And and I firmly believe to that to step into your future, it costs you something. It costs you the current you. And but it’s it’s not a regretful thing. The current you has to be deconstructed in order to move into the next the next phase of of self and growth.
Heather Johll [00:05:03]:
And so I thought, well, you know what? I I wanna work in health care. I wanna be healthy. Right? I mean, it’s in the name, and, and and I’m, you know, I don’t have a health care background, quite transparently. I don’t have a finance background even though I work in accounting and reporting. But I found Ascension Health. I looked them up. I looked up their mission. I looked up how they do business, what they do.
Heather Johll [00:05:31]:
And, also, by the way, it was in Indiana, which is I have some sisters here. I have some family that’s just across in Wisconsin, just a drive away, and I thought, why not? And so I started, applying for jobs there, and I was just very, very lasered in on the fact that I was going to leave BPO. So I left. I left BPO. I left my career. I’m certain by now, had I stayed in BPO, I probably would have been a COO, a CEO, if I would have been alive. Right? I mean, I don’t know what my health habits would have would have brought for me. I know things were very, at a very dangerous kind of space for me, with my obesity.
Heather Johll [00:06:19]:
But I I found this guy. I believe Colter was his name. I’m gonna give him, credit for this. He he saw something in me. And there was a position that was available, and I applied for it, and I got it. But I was unemployed in the meantime. I don’t know how many people at Ascension Health probably realize that. I know in the BPO world, I kinda shocked some folks.
Heather Johll [00:06:46]:
I probably left a little bit of, I don’t know. I don’t think I would feel good, if my my my leader left suddenly, but I think it’s what it took. And in reflecting back on it, I wouldn’t change a thing about that moment where I was like, no. I’m I’m done with with this.
Bernie Borges [00:07:08]:
Okay. Yeah. So Mhmm. There’s so many there’s so much running through my mind, but I’m gonna hone in on one question, Heather, because, it it it has to do with your last point. You left. And what did you say to the people you work for, work for you, all your colleagues? What was your message to them around you leaving?
Heather Johll [00:07:33]:
Tell them I couldn’t do it anymore.
Bernie Borges [00:07:35]:
Okay. So you were totally transparent.
Heather Johll [00:07:38]:
Mhmm. And, there was there were there were a couple people, a couple leaders, Lori, that I worked with who I considered a mentor that I was, particularly transparent with, and I was sad. This was not me beating my chest and saying, I’m gonna show you because the only person I was looking at was the one in the mirror. It was emotional. It was sad. I ended up in my sister’s basement, and I I realized through those conversations and through that mourning process that I was unwell. And because, I mean, if I could project manage this, not that I’m a phenomenal project manager, like, probably there was another way from to get from there to here. Maybe I could have clicked maybe years earlier and had and done some but that’s not that’s not how life went.
Heather Johll [00:08:40]:
And and so yeah. I mean, I just ended up where I ended up, I think.
Bernie Borges [00:08:45]:
Okay. So you know, Heather, that my five pillars are health, fitness, career, relationships, and legacy. And there’s a reason health is the first one because health is both physical and mental. And if we struggle with our health, then all the other pillars are gonna struggle. Every aspect of our life is gonna struggle. And, also, when it comes to health, there are some things that are not within our control, and then there can be things that are within our control. So where I wanna go next in our conversation is to this point where you applied at Ascension Health, and this gentleman, I think you said it was a gentleman, saw something in you. Share a little bit about that conversation.
Bernie Borges [00:09:26]:
What did he see in you? What did you share with him in your story?
Heather Johll [00:09:33]:
I think what Lee saw in me was one of I think he saw a pretty vibrant personality. Like, I I show up in a way that I I feel like I make a room a little bit warmer.
Bernie Borges [00:09:48]:
You do.
Heather Johll [00:09:49]:
And, also, I think you saw my intellect. I think you saw, hey. She’s smart. She thinks differently, and we need something new. And so I feel like listen. It was like a seven hour interview process. They didn’t and by the way, no food. It was just me in this conference room.
Heather Johll [00:10:06]:
It was Halloween, so people were in costumes. You wanna talk about a bizarre, interview process, And, also, not what I expected. I was very dressed up and and, but, yeah, I think that what he saw in me too was just this this person that wanted more. I think I I I don’t think I know that he felt that because he hired me as somebody who was different from everybody else.
Bernie Borges [00:10:35]:
Did did he also share with you his thoughts on sort of the personal style of your story, you know, not just your qualifications because that’s part of what I just heard you explain, Heather. Like, you you had some really compelling qualifications. But what about the personal side of the story? Was that in play at all?
Heather Johll [00:10:57]:
You know, when I first interviewed, no. But shortly after I got the job, it certainly was.
Bernie Borges [00:11:05]:
How so?
Heather Johll [00:11:06]:
So I I was hired in December, and then within it was within six I blew out my knee in January. That was fun. And then I ended up in a knee replacement surgery, and, I I almost died. That was in June. So we’re six months into employment into a position in a place I’ve never been into a discipline I haven’t worked in, and I knee replacement surgery, which is a whole thing, especially at the weight I was at. But that night after surgery, I knew something was wrong. 16 pulmonary embolisms. You can’t make that up.
Heather Johll [00:11:52]:
Statistically speaking, twenty five percent of the time, the first symptom of a pulmonary embolism is death. I had 16. And so, obviously, I’m in intensive care. I have a brand new knee. I’m still three eighty five. I can’t breathe. I’m in and out of kind of consciousness, and I’m 46. Yeah.
Heather Johll [00:12:19]:
I would have been yeah. 46. And, they had to move me into a nursing home. Now at that point, here I am. I honestly, Lee and the team at Ascension Health, there was my my CFO, Liz, and some other folks that were involved in this, my team. They could have just said, not a good hire. Right? But they didn’t. And I think that ties back to what I said before.
Heather Johll [00:12:50]:
I I chose a place I wanted to go work that had a mission that was meaningful, that I felt like, oh, well, oh my gosh. I I feel like this is a fit for my heart. And, so they worked with me. And I was sitting in a nursing home. You cannot, unless you’ve been there, which I, you know, god god forbid, sitting in the nursing home and I said, this is it for me. I said I want to get healthier. Today’s when it starts. I’m done because I’m going to die, And and that isn’t my story.
Heather Johll [00:13:31]:
My story will not end like this. My story will be one that’s that’s beautiful. And and so, you know, you think about, obviously, right, I have this budding career, but to your point, unless you have your health, you can’t pour into your career, your your your mental wellness, spiritual wellness legacy. Where’s the legacy if it ends in a nursing home? Or or what and listen. I’m not saying I have lots of folks I love in nursing, but, like, I’m 40. There’s no reason for me to be there.
Bernie Borges [00:14:06]:
Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Not at 46.
Heather Johll [00:14:08]:
Not at 46. And and and so, you know, to some degree, I applied some of the discipline, heart, and, just the stick to it in this. I don’t know that that’s a word, but that I pull it into my career. It was like, no. I’m I’m on my way now. I’m doing I’m doing something different.
Bernie Borges [00:14:29]:
Okay. Now the weight loss, you know, we haven’t spoken a lot about that, and and I’m not gonna ask you to give us a tremendous amount of detail on that. But in the context of your journey, Heather, your story, I’m just wondering because the weight loss was very significant. We’re not talking 50 pounds.
Heather Johll [00:14:49]:
Right.
Bernie Borges [00:14:49]:
You lost a couple hundred pounds. I mean, that’s really, really, really significant. And so what I wanna know in the context of your overall story is that’s a big achievement. Not only is it good for your health, but it’s also an accomplishment. And, you know, when I talk about fulfillment, which I kinda do all the time
Heather Johll [00:15:09]:
Right.
Bernie Borges [00:15:09]:
I say that fulfillment is tied to achievement. Right? You achieve something, there’s fulfillment in that, and it’s usually immutable. Nothing can take that away. And in your case, this significant weight loss is an example of that achievement, which I’m sure has given you fulfillment. Nothing can take that away. So how does that fit into your overall story?
Heather Johll [00:15:29]:
So when you think of the journey it that I’ve been on, just just overall, I think what I unlocked, you know, you kinda level up to go to you you unlock a level and you figure something else out was that, golly, at first, I started, like, well, I I should be walking more. I probably should eat some more vegetables. The truth was I needed to go to counseling. The truth is the pieces of me that were broken weren’t going to be healed inside of the gym. They weren’t going to be healed, because I joined Weight Watchers. Now the gym, Weight Watchers, sleep, vitamins, water, all the things, those have to be in place, but we know that. All of us know what we should do on any given day. We understand the things that that make us have a longer life, But we don’t choose those things, and that’s because of our because of our mental health.
Heather Johll [00:16:31]:
And so I started counseling. And when I say I started counseling, like, all in. And, you know, sometimes I feel like when you’re on your path and the doors are opening, the right people just keep showing up, and the right counselor showed up for me. Laura my counselor, Laura, who, you know, guys going to see her next week. She was the right person that understood me because here you have a high achiever who’s high achieving in ways to hide the broken parts. And her and I were able to build a plan, and, really, I was able to get vulnerable with her. You don’t sit at an executive table at work and tell people all the traumas that happened. Right? You sit at an executive table, and you present things, and you look at the vision and the transformation, and you focus in on the wins.
Heather Johll [00:17:34]:
And so I was so conditioned to do that career wise that I never spent the time just being like, oh, golly. That that part of me is hurt. You know? That part of me is is unhealed. And and I didn’t have people to I mean, I’m my best friend. Like, she knows all the things about me, and and she’s taught me some fantastic lessons along the way. But it there there was no formal place to do that. And quite honestly, mental health while counseling and I am the hugest. I mean, you’ve you’ve got to invest in your mental health.
Heather Johll [00:18:16]:
And that lends to your spiritual health, and that lends to your physical health, and and your career, and your relationships strengthens. Some of them go away. Right? But, yeah, I I think that the key to all of it, people say to me, what do you do to maintain? You know, I eat a lot of edamame beans and stuff like that, but I don’t think that’s the secret. I I really think it’s I’ve invested in me, in my heart.
Bernie Borges [00:18:46]:
Okay. So something that you said a few times, Heather, that I wanna come back to and kinda pick up on, and that is that you redefined or understood the problem that you were addressing. It wasn’t the weight. You you’ve mentioned a few times that there were other things broken in your life, And you had the wisdom, whether you got that entirely on your own or maybe through some counseling or combination of the two, you had the wisdom to understand that and then go tackle that. Go tackle the things that were broken. And would it be, accurate for me to say, Heather, that you tackle that either before or in parallel with the weight loss? In other words, you didn’t ignore that and just focus on weight loss. You focused on the things that were broken maybe in a priority
Heather Johll [00:19:43]:
Mhmm.
Bernie Borges [00:19:43]:
Or along with the weight loss or maybe before the weight loss. I’m not quite sure.
Heather Johll [00:19:47]:
Altogether. All at once.
Bernie Borges [00:19:49]:
Okay.
Heather Johll [00:19:50]:
All fronts. So as I was losing weight, I was, gaining and healing pieces of me mentally. So if you look at the the journey of you know, we we talked about 2020, where everyone was, you know, in the pandemic eating, I was doing something very different. Right? I was going to counseling. I was relearning how to eat. And listen, and you think in counseling, I wasn’t talking about, oh my god. I wanna eat 20 cheeseburgers. We address that.
Heather Johll [00:20:20]:
We that was a part of the process. Right? And trainers and and and all the things. So no. I I I would say that from a priority perspective, it was all a priority, and my experience in my career taught me that sometimes everything is a priority. And so you have to address all the fires at once. And so I think that helped me with this.
Bernie Borges [00:20:53]:
Were you at that weight in your twenties and thirties?
Heather Johll [00:20:58]:
No. I mean, it was gradual. It was gradual. And I would say that in my thirties, you know, listen. I was in a very bad and dangerous marriage. And, I think that that part, which most people you know what? I’m telling you right now, someone at at in my current job is listening to saying, she was married. Right? Because I I buried that piece of me. Yeah.
Heather Johll [00:21:31]:
And and I do think that as I look at that that, abusive marriage and escaping the domestic violence, and it it was severe. It was life threatening. I ate. And so I don’t think I was always I don’t I was never I I don’t know when I was this way. Fourth grade.
Bernie Borges [00:21:52]:
Okay.
Heather Johll [00:21:52]:
I have no idea. But yeah.
Bernie Borges [00:21:54]:
Part of the reason that I asked, Heather, is because correct me if I’m wrong, but it was somewhere around age 45 or 46 as I’m hearing you share your story that you have this commitment to change. Mhmm. So that’s right smack in the middle of our, you know, mid what I call midlife seasons, multiple seasons. And so that’s why I asked you if you were that weight in your twenties and thirties. I didn’t know about, you know, what you just shared about, you know, that marriage and and the abuse and all that. I’m sorry you experienced that. But, you know, I think that’s why we’re having this conversation because the people who listen to this podcast are in this age demographic, and we all have something that we’ve experienced in our lives. Yep.
Bernie Borges [00:22:38]:
It’s all unique to each of us, but it’s a bit of a roller coaster. Right? It’s up and down, up and down, up and down, sometimes up more, sometimes down more, but you sharing this journey that you’ve been on. So give us a sense for where you are now. And and before you answer that, let me tell you what my perception is. I haven’t known you very long. I I met you recently. We were introduced by a mutual friend. And my perception is that you are full of joy.
Bernie Borges [00:23:06]:
You are absolutely the person who lights up the room when you walk in. I would not know your past about, you know, being two hundred pounds heavier. You just have this very positive, contagious spirit about you. So, with those accolades, you know, give us a sense of kinda where you are now.
Heather Johll [00:23:26]:
So I think, you know, where I’m at now is I’m in a very, like, I feel full. I’m excited to wake up every day. You know, it’s a joke because I like sometimes I’ll wake up and it’s only 4AM, and I’m like, dang it. You know? Like, I can’t be five yet. Like, I usually get up at five, and I I’m it it drives a a lot of people in my life crazy because they’re like, why is she up so early? It’s because I’m excited to be up. And, you know, look. I look at my hair. I chopped it off and gave myself a mohawk.
Heather Johll [00:23:58]:
Right? Why? Because it’s more fun, and it it feels free, and I feel free. And I think I used to be seeking something that I just couldn’t get to. It might have been, like like a status or, oh, I’m gonna be happier. And I just wanted to be more me, I think, and didn’t know it. So, you know, you talk about learning and becoming, and my job is not to be an acceptable version of me, but to be an exceptional version of me. And that fills me every day. And so the things that I get fired up about and the fun you know, I was out shooting baskets a couple days ago. I was at the basketball court shooting and, you know, my shoulder got sore.
Heather Johll [00:24:48]:
I had some tendonitis in my shoulder. You know? Right? 51. But I was so happy. I was like, oh my gosh. This is just a fun afternoon. And and I love that, and I’m happy. I, you know, I am happy now, but I don’t seek happy. I I seek my moments, my my joy, my my vibe, my people.
Heather Johll [00:25:15]:
And one of the best lessons that my best friend, Mary, taught me, and I tell everybody this story. One day, I was really downing the former version of myself. Oh, what was I doing? You know? I slept in, and I used to do this. And she’s she’s been my best friend since I was 18. And she said, don’t you dare talk about her like that. Don’t. That’s my best friend, and I loved her too. And and it’s hard for me not to get emotional about that because I’m like, oh my gosh.
Heather Johll [00:25:55]:
Yeah. That’s still me. You know? And I was just I wasn’t where I am now, but I was on my way. And so I’m grateful, and I don’t think that a relationship or any single thing defines me. The scale doesn’t define me, my title, my my biggest failures, the people I’ve I’ve you know, there’s betrayal in life. You hurt people you love. I’m just this whole big moving forward journey, and, like, I’m this I’m this person that does things right and does things wrong, and and I love that I learn. I love that.
Heather Johll [00:26:38]:
And so, thank you for the kind things that you said about me, and just know that I work on those things every day. I am intentional. I’m intentionally joyful.
Bernie Borges [00:26:53]:
That’s wonderful. And I love what you said, Heather, when you said you don’t wanna be an acceptable version of you, you wanna be an exceptional version of you. I think that is fantastic, and I think that is very inspiring, especially with the journey that you’ve been on. And, you know, look. You’re still young. You’re in your fifties. You have a a lot of midlife seasons still ahead of you, and, and you’ve got a wonderful perspective that many of us don’t have. I certainly haven’t experienced, you know, similar health issues like you have.
Bernie Borges [00:27:23]:
You know, I haven’t spent, you know, time in intensive care or nursing home like you have. So every one of us has a unique journey. And and the fact that you’re willing to be vulnerable, share it with me and my listener here on the Midlife Fulfill podcast, is really wonderful. I really appreciate it. Heather, where can people connect with you online and just kinda get into your world if they wanna do that?
Heather Johll [00:27:48]:
Absolutely. You know what? Go to my LinkedIn. Go to my LinkedIn. You know what? You can you can observe me on Facebook too if you want. I buy my full public profile, and all the things that make me who I am, I I don’t hide any of it. So I’d be happy to connect. I’m happy to share my story. I I love to connect with men, women that are like, I’m stuck because no.
Heather Johll [00:28:15]:
No. You’re not. You’re in your journey. You’re just sitting a little still right now, and and I love to to to share my story because I think that well, that’s what we owe humankind, and and and to move forward. So thank you so much. I this is a great conversation. I, I’m so happy that we we did this. Thank you.
Bernie Borges [00:28:35]:
Well, thank you, Heather. I really appreciate it, and I look forward to, continue it. So, until then, see you again soon.
Heather Johll [00:28:42]:
Alright. Thank you.
Bernie Borges [00:28:43]:
Thanks, Heather.
Heather Johll [00:28:44]:
Bye bye.
Bernie Borges [00:28:45]:
Bye.
