Bernie Borges [00:00:00]:
What if the career or life path that you’re on isn’t wrong, it’s just misaligned? Hey. If you’ve asked yourself this question or maybe a version of this question in different words, you’re in very good company. On this On My Mind episode, I’m gonna break down how to answer this question uniquely to you so that you can gain clarity. And when you have clarity, you can take appropriate action. I’m also gonna provide a free template that I’ve created to help with this. More on this a little bit later in this episode. Hey. I’m Bernie Borges, host of the Midlife Fulfilled podcast.
Bernie Borges [00:00:37]:
And, you know, when I launched this podcast in February of twenty twenty two, I was initially focused on creating content that resonates with people over the age of 40 who feel unfulfilled. But check this out. Three years in, and approximately sixty three percent of my podcast listeners are age 45 or higher. The remaining thirty seven percent are 45, with nine percent of them in their twenties. I have to tell you, this insight really surprised me. So I think it’s safe to say that people 40 have similar struggles. In other words, fulfillment issues are age agnostic. You know, what this tells me is that we all need a new lens for how we define success in career, in life, and in leadership, and more on that in a moment.
Bernie Borges [00:01:38]:
If you’ve been listening to the Midlife Fulfill podcast, even for just a little while, because I know that some of you are casual listeners, you may know, you probably know that I have developed a leadership framework called fulfillment centric leadership. Now originally, I created it for businesses. It’s rooted in clarity across the five life pillars, health, fitness, career, relationships, and legacies, as well as our values, and then the alignment between our values and our fulfillment. And I had a big realization. You see, leaders can’t lead others without self leadership first. Because when leaders in an organization, and it doesn’t matter if it’s a for profit business or a non profit business or a government entity or a religious organization, it doesn’t matter. When leaders become self aware of their own fulfillment journey and their values alignment with fulfillment, they then become capable of leading their teams with this mindset. Additionally, leaders have a huge moment that everyone on their team is on the exact same journey with no exceptions.
Bernie Borges [00:03:01]:
Now this led me to yet another realization that the fulfillment centric leadership framework applies to each of us in our daily life. In fact, this is known as self leadership, which I alluded to just a moment ago when I said that we’re all looking for success in life, career, and leadership. That includes self leadership. So in this context, I’m referring to the ability to lead our life according to our values so that we can experience the best possible fulfillment across the five life pillars. And As I mentioned a moment ago, the first step in effective self leadership is self awareness. So here’s the process. In fact, it’s the same process that I use in a workshop setting at an organization. Whether you’re a leader in an organization or not, I’m gonna take you through this process because I want you to experience it for your own life journey of fulfillment.
Bernie Borges [00:04:03]:
So it starts with this. Answer the following question. How fulfilled am I in each of the five pillars? How fulfilled am I in my health? How fulfilled am I in my fitness? How fulfilled am I in my career, in my relationships, in my legacy? You’re asking that question to yourself five times. Not the same exact question. Well, it is the same question, but you’re asking it for each specific pillar. And then, and this is very important, you’re gonna score it. Every single question, you’re gonna score between zero and five. Zero is not fulfilled at all, and five is totally fulfilled.
Bernie Borges [00:04:50]:
Now, once you’ve answered this fulfillment question, again, across each of the five pillars, next, it’s time to align your values with your fulfillment. So now, ask, what are your nonnegotiable values today, at this point in your life? Now values can include things like integrity, fun, faith, exercise, community service, travel, mentoring, learning, exploration. Look. These are just a few examples. Your values are your values, not mine or anyone else’s. Just list them all. And then next, assess how aligned your values are with your fulfillment across the five life pillars. Now this is where it’s helpful to use my free template.
Bernie Borges [00:05:43]:
I call it the values and fulfillment alignment guide. It’s free, and it’s linked up in the show notes. In this guide, I provide space where you can list your values, and then you can determine how they’re aligned or not with your current fulfillment in each of the five pillars. Now this is a simple exercise, but I warn you that you may discover that some of your values are misaligned with your fulfillment. And once you have that awareness, then you need to answer another question. That is, am I going to compromise my misaligned values, or am I going to make a choice to change something that will allow me to achieve alignment. And you know, in some cases, this can be a tough choice. Here’s the thing.
Bernie Borges [00:06:38]:
If you’re misaligned, it’s sort of like having a wobbly table. I’m sure you’ve had one of those. Right? One of the legs is shorter than the other tape the other legs in the table. You can either just live with it or take some action to correct it. Now, in the context of life, you might realize that one reason you lack fulfillment is because of this misalignment with one or more of your values. So you have to answer this question. Am I gonna create change, or am I just gonna live with the misalignment? Incidentally, misalignment is very often the source of what people call a life crisis. Sometimes people make drastic changes when they feel like they’re experiencing a life crisis.
Bernie Borges [00:07:28]:
And sometimes a drastic change can be good, provided that it’s rooted in understanding the reason, such as misaligned values with fulfillment. And sometimes when a drastic change is made by sort of winging it without doing any real self reflection as to the source of your life crisis, well, the consequences can be negative. So I want to encourage you to do the self reflection that can help you move from crisis to clarity by using my values and fulfillment alignment guide to document your fulfillment in each of the the five life pillars, and then followed by assessing how aligned or misaligned you are in your values and your current fulfillment. You know, I used to say at the end of each podcast episode that if you’re 80% fulfilled, you’re doing great. If you’re a long time listener, you remember that. Now, I don’t say that anymore, and it’s not because I don’t believe it to be true. It is true. The eighty twenty rule is in play all around us.
Bernie Borges [00:08:33]:
In fact, listen to episode 215 for a deeper dive on how the eighty twenty rule impacts our lives. I’ll link it up in the show notes. But the reason that I mention it today is because it’s very normal to not be totally fulfilled in every pillar of your life. I’m not. Most people aren’t. The key is to become self aware of where a lack of fulfillment is creating a sense of crisis, and I’m using air quotes around the word crisis. The key is to gain clarity on this so that you can give yourself a chance to take action that might move the needle for you in fulfillment in some area of your life. So again, I encourage you to gain some clarity.
Bernie Borges [00:09:22]:
Leverage the values and fulfillment alignment guide. It’s a free resource that can help you gain some needed clarity so that you know what action you can take. In fact, the guide gives you space to write down action steps that you can consider. You know, it’s amazing how impactful it is when we write down what we feel to be true and then write down an action step or two or three. This exercise alone has potential to give you immense clarity. Now, I’m not a mind reader, but I’m going to say something that just might be on your mind right about now. Maybe you don’t want to go through with this exercise because you’re afraid of what you might learn about yourself. If that’s you, you’re not alone, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it.
Bernie Borges [00:10:13]:
I urge you to do it. What’s the worst thing that can happen? You might realize where your misalignment is, and eventually, you probably decide to take action. It’s just human nature. We all reach a moment in life when we decide it’s time to take some action. Some of us call it a god moment. Whatever you call it, you’ll know if it’s time to take action. Now there’s one more thing that I suggest that you consider. I offer a free thirty minute clarity call to talk through what you’ve discovered using the values and fulfillment alignment guide.
Bernie Borges [00:10:51]:
Now in this clarity call, we’ll have an honest conversation about what you discovered and the action steps that you’ve identified. I promise to be an encouraging ear and voice for you. Now in a thirty minute call, I can’t promise much more than listening and encouragement. Beyond this clarity call, I’ll tell you how I can support you as a coach through ongoing coaching calls. There’s a link in the show notes to schedule this clarity call if this is something that you’d like to do. I do limit them, so if that interests you, check it out. Now, as I close out this On My Mind episode, I want to encourage you to share this episode with someone else in your life who’s quietly wrestling with the same questions. Look, these are very common questions, and as I mentioned earlier, these questions are age agnostic.
Bernie Borges [00:11:42]:
Whether your friend is in their twenties, thirties, forties, or really any decade, they may struggle with the same questions. The bottom line is this, a fulfilled life is a values aligned life, and I hope this episode sheds some light on this and that the free resources that I’m making available to you in the values and fulfillment alignment guide and the limited thirty minute clarity calls are helpful in helping you move from crisis to clarity. Hey. This is Bernie Borges, and, you know, I call myself the fulfillment architect. And it’s been a while since I closed out by saying if you’re 80% fulfilled, you’re doing great. But before you click or tap out, please press or tap the subscribe button so that you don’t miss future episodes. I’ll see you on the next episode.
