Bernie Borges [00:00:00]:
Brandy Brown, welcome to the Midlife Fulfill podcast.
Brandy Brown [00:00:04]:
Thank you so much, Bernie. I’m so excited to be here today.
Bernie Borges [00:00:08]:
Well, I’m excited to have you here for many reasons. One of which is, you are a BB, and I am a BB.
Brandy Brown [00:00:15]:
Agreed.
Bernie Borges [00:00:16]:
And I think it’s the first time ever in more than 200 episodes on the Midlife Fulfill podcast that I’ve had a BB on, so I’m excited. But, actually, I’m very excited just to talk to you. You have a wealth of experience and wisdom and insights that I’ve invited you to discuss here today. Just a little tiny bit about your background because I’m sure you’ll fill in a few other details along the way. You’ve got more than thirty years experience, and I have to say, Brandy, you must have started when you were two years old because your youthful appearance would not tell me you’ve got more than thirty years experience in career, in leadership roles. You worked for a number of companies, and probably the the one that you’ve you spent the most time within was Comcast. And you’ve just developed a whole wealth of knowledge along the way. And now you’re harnessing that knowledge, that wisdom, those insights into this concept that you call coming off mute.
Bernie Borges [00:01:18]:
And that’s what really motivated me to bring you on the podcast because I think in a little bit that I know, I think this is something that a lot of people who listen to the Midlife Fulfill podcast will benefit from understanding. So let’s begin with, what do you mean by coming off mute?
Brandy Brown [00:01:37]:
You know, I love the question, and I love the inspiration behind coming off mute. I’m I’m actually gonna tie this back to midlife fulfilled because when you reached out to me, I instantly connected with the fact that all of my journey throughout my career has been a learning point, learning moments, if you will. And so what I love about coming off mute, that’s really a celebration of my midlife fulfilled. Coming off mute is not only a workshop that I have, and facilitate through my organization, Magnify Success, but it is also, the announcement of a launch book that will take place in 2025. And what coming off mute means to me or if I can really add a bit of color
Bernie Borges [00:02:26]:
Yeah. Please unpack it.
Brandy Brown [00:02:27]:
Yes. Please. Thank you. There were many moments in my early life, adolescent, leading into early adulthood where I’d experienced trauma. Some have heard me present about this and to avoid triggering others, if I can simplify the terms and not take us down, that road, I will preface it as a bloodline bruise. And I feel like that resonates with most. Anyone who understands, those two terms that connects to people that are, you know, in not only in your community, but within your family unit, within your bloodline that have in some way, shape, or form caused trauma. And for me, it started at a very early age and continued into early adulthood.
Brandy Brown [00:03:15]:
And sharing that trauma with my most trusted, you know, people in my family and life that wanted to protect and guard those that created those instances for me caused me to shut down and caused me to go on mute. And that training, well, I’m gonna call it training, you know, that training from my home life carried with me into my career. And it’s truly beautiful at this point in my life to understand and be able to share my story, to essentially come off mute, and to inspire others to do the same, but to understand how much more impactful you are as a leader when you can amplify your voice. And there are so many instances that bring us to that space where we’re silenced, and so I really wanna be able to highlight, the journey in my life and to support others who’ve gone through the same and and help them find and establish their version of success.
Bernie Borges [00:04:13]:
So thank you for sharing the context, the background, and what you mean by coming off mute. So I’ve got a million questions. So the first question that I’ll start with is, when did you realize that you needed to come off mute?
Brandy Brown [00:04:31]:
Mhmm. You know, I’m gonna say I had a number of instances in career that were repetitious. And for a while, you know, we never wanna admit that we are the cause of our circumstances, and that can be at the hand of bad leadership. That can be at the hand of circumstances and situations that continue to occur, and they may not be favorable to the individual, but there’s a reason that they’re happening. And so I was about 45 when I recognized there was a pattern and treatment of me. I am a people pleaser. I am a yes person. I am one who will pour into others and give to others before they will give to me, and those are also trained behaviors by someone who’s been taught not to care for themselves, not to speak up, not to acknowledge when something’s uncomfortable.
Brandy Brown [00:05:26]:
And so I became this leader who was in circumstances. It didn’t matter where I was, as but especially in a professional setting. I recognized over the years that I was in these situations because I didn’t know how to amplify and how to shut them down. I didn’t know how to stand tall. I didn’t feel confident and comfortable saying, this is not okay or this is okay. You know, it doesn’t have to be a tough situation. I just I really needed to know who I was in the room and that I was making an impact, good, bad, or indifferent. So I wanna say right around that age 45, I was in a pivotal moment in my career at Comcast Corporation.
Brandy Brown [00:06:13]:
I truly loved being a part of that organization for twenty two years and developing as a young professional into a more seasoned professional. And though I encountered a number of circumstances that were what I will call now the assignment, I understand the assignment was to help empower me to prepare to come off mute.
Bernie Borges [00:06:37]:
Fascinating. Okay. So as I said, I’ve got a million questions. So my my next question is more about when you came to the realization. You you mentioned the word leadership or leader. Yes. Were you in a leadership role, and it’s really a two part question. Is this something that you think we anybody should embrace if they’re in a situation where they feel like they need to come off mute regardless of whether they’re in a leadership role in an organization, which can be in the career, the workplace, but also can be outside the workplace.
Bernie Borges [00:07:14]:
Right? It can be in a church community. It can be in a local community where you’re in a leadership role. Lots of different ways to be in a leadership role. But, Brandy, I also want to bring into that the concept of self leadership. I don’t want to exclude the fact that we all have to lead our own lives and and lead the decisions that we make and lead the actions that we take. So I’m expanding the definition of leadership, and I’m really inviting you into that conversation in the context of coming off mute.
Brandy Brown [00:07:44]:
You know, I love that you’re taking me there because I don’t know that I’d really, tapped into the opportunity of self leadership. As you say, it’s, I’m sure, happening subconsciously. And what I love about the conversation now is, again, MetLife Fulfilled is all about unpacking. Can I use your words? A a lot of things that are happening as I approach the age of 50. I am just in a space where I recognize all of the work that I do. And when you say leadership roles, I can think about a number of boards that I hold advisory positions on or executive positions in different organizations. My contributions of giving back also put me in a space of leadership. And when I think about my journey, if I can even go back ten, twenty years, I couldn’t see myself in those rooms.
Brandy Brown [00:08:40]:
I was always the person who was so excited to celebrate a leader to watch holding the stage or a president or vice president of an organization or supporting a president and vice president and couldn’t see myself there, and I believe that had a lot to do with this muted version of Brandy. And now think about having this moment of self reflection, and I shouldn’t say moment because it’s a journey. Right? This is gonna take some time, and I continue to learn and grow how to be, this leader who shows up in spaces that emulates what coming off mute looks like. And and I will say that is, you know, a powerful exercise that should be taking place throughout your life in personal in the I’m gonna say personal relationships, and I’m gonna come back and say in all relationships. To me, every interaction is a relationship. That’s with your children. That’s with your spouse. That’s with your siblings.
Brandy Brown [00:09:44]:
That’s with your community. And so when you think about how you can be a disservice to someone on the receiving end of communication by not allowing them to hear all of the gifts that you have to share, there’s so much that we’re missing in community. And even meeting yourself and talking to other leaders in community, I am now witnessing the superpowers in me by simply being myself. And it’s unfortunate that that was hidden, that that was brushed under the rug, that that was ingrained in me, that my voice wasn’t powerful and it didn’t hold weight. And now I am seeing myself move throughout community, and I will say, I feel the weight. I feel heavy in community, and it’s really, really a blessing to be able to say that.
Bernie Borges [00:10:34]:
Yeah. Yeah. So part of what I’m hearing, Brandy, is that you have had an awakening. Now that that’s the word that I’m using, whether or not it’s a word you would use, but that’s kind of my okay. So that’s my interpretation. Okay. So back to my million questions. My next one is and these are all coming to me in the moment.
Bernie Borges [00:10:54]:
These are not pre planned questions. Perfect. And that is As a Did this awakening happen because of someone or maybe more than one individual, or was it more about the way your life has unfolded that brought you to this awakening?
Brandy Brown [00:11:16]:
You know, you bring up a point that I have had to sit with, and it’s actually will be revealed and reflected upon, if you will, in my book. I am extremely protective of the brands of others, and that was one thing that I I’ll stitch this together in a moment, but I I didn’t understand that I was so protective of others because I was forced to protect when I shouldn’t have been. However, that curse has also become a blessing because I am extremely protective of how I care for everyone’s brand. And in my mind, and and this may not resonate with everyone, I feel everyone has their own opportunity to tarnish and damage their brand, and that should never be up to me. So the reason I say that is because now bringing it back to your question, the moment in time I remembered vividly that allowed me to see how I was being controlled by the volume being turned all the way down was there was an instance being planned behind the scenes, amongst family, and so here’s me protecting brand. I won’t go into the people, and you can put the story together as you will. But it involved coordinating an excursion with my daughter. And this family is not as close to my daughter and and just doesn’t know her the way I do.
Brandy Brown [00:12:46]:
And inadvertently, I was included in this message that began this planning and taking her on this trip and all these things, and I should be celebrating. Right? They’re trying to take my daughter on a trip as his family, and I cry. I was so hurt because I thought, all of you never considered me, the relationship we have, and this person that is now the closest person to me, and you want to move with this person and you’ve not considered me. You’ve been planning behind the scenes and I was accidentally included in the conversation. It was this moment that I had the courage to share. Of course, it was inspired by my daughter. This doesn’t feel good. This doesn’t feel right.
Brandy Brown [00:13:30]:
I dislike this, and I was able to acknowledge not only that moment of of pain for me, because it took me back to instances that were much more traumatic, and I was able to unpack. I’m gonna I’m gonna borrow that. I won’t say steal it from you. I’m gonna borrow that from you, Bernie. I really like it, and I like it.
Bernie Borges [00:13:48]:
Feel free. I did not invent
Brandy Brown [00:13:49]:
a word. It’s amazing. I’m gonna go with it. You know, that allowed me to really unpack all that life had offered me through experiences and through circumstances leading up to that moment. And though I was breaking down and I was in fear sharing, this was not comfortable, this was not right, this was not good, that was my break free moment. And when I say I went beyond coming off mute, I’ve said this before too, but I really like the little John song coming turn it down for what? I don’t know if you’ve heard it. And if you haven’t, you gotta listen. But, it is about the volume being full blast, and it was truly that moment in my life.
Brandy Brown [00:14:38]:
And, again, I I think I stitched it back to earlier in conversation. I was about 45 years old when that happened. And as I get ready to approach 50, I couldn’t be more proud of acknowledging who I am, what I’ve experienced, and how that is really going to fuel my future because none of my circumstances define me. They are moments in life that, help me define what purpose, what walk, and what future look like. I also said that to say, I believe I was truly on mute for a reason. For me, everything is divinely connected, and I needed to have this moment of inspiration no matter how painful it was to understand that as my midlife is fulfilled, this is truly the point in time that I’m prepared mentally, physically, emotionally to move forward and receive who I am and share that openly to come off mute the right way.
Bernie Borges [00:15:41]:
Okay. So my my next thought, given the context you just provided there, Brandy, is that and you just said this. You used the word divine. It sounds like what I’m hearing is that it was a god ordained experience, to your point, a divine Absolutely. Incident. And it also seems to me it’s given you purpose, which is directly connected to it being a god ordained experience. You now have this purpose that is crystal clear, and you’re taking this to other people who need to hear this message.
Brandy Brown [00:16:18]:
Yes. You are so right. I am a very spirit led person. And certainly for me, God ordained for others. It’s it’s whatever spiritual connection that they have to a higher power entity. But for me, that’s that’s my language. And so I recognize that nothing happens by accident. And this is when I began to pay attention to those divine designs in my life, you know, that the text message that I was included in as a group inadvertently was received in the moment I was prepared to stand tall.
Brandy Brown [00:16:57]:
I’ve had so many how many people have in in a you know, inadvertent text messages, especially with family or friends, and, you know, you send the wrong message. But for this to come at this point in time, it just couldn’t have been more inspirational to me to really pay attention to the design and the way my life has moved, to pay attention to pain that I could instantly translate into purpose, and that’s essentially what I was doing with that.
Bernie Borges [00:17:29]:
Have you ever wondered what if you had had that experience, say, twenty years younger? You you shared a few times that you were 45 when this happened. What if you were 25 when this happened? Because you said that the origin of this stems back to your childhood.
Brandy Brown [00:17:46]:
It does. It does.
Bernie Borges [00:17:47]:
So what if this had happened when you were 25? And let me put a little more context to this question. While I’m asking you this question, Brandy, I also want to challenge the listener Mhmm. Who is listening now and maybe thinking the same thing. This you had this experience at age 45. And have you ever been tempted to say, why did it take so long? Why couldn’t have I had this experience twenty years ago? And I you know, the last twenty years would have been so different for me. And instead of beating ourselves up with that question, instead recognizing, as you said, it was a divine experience. It happened when it happened. Those of us who are believers know that god’s timing is always perfect.
Bernie Borges [00:18:34]:
So why Right. You know, you all you may you may think forty five is later than you want it to be. But have you ever had have you been tempted to think that way at all?
Brandy Brown [00:18:45]:
So yes and no. I believe I was given a number of opportunities to think, react, respond, acknowledge in the same way. Not maybe not the same instance. Definitely not a text message twenty five years ago. We were pretty light on text messaging. But, I was given a number of instances that would have allowed me the opportunity to speak up, to say this doesn’t feel right. I don’t like this. And I believe as I would begin to speak, there would be, to me, a more powerful voice that was speaking.
Brandy Brown [00:19:31]:
And maybe not elevating, not in a direct or abrasive, aggressive approach, just enough, if you will, in the conversation to make me feel like I wasn’t confident enough to move forward. I didn’t have the words. I didn’t have the strength. I didn’t have the backbone, really, to stand taller, to understand that someone is rebuttaling. That’s a good word. I came up with that one. Just I didn’t make it up. But I was rebuttaling or someone was rebuttaling, and that didn’t mean I couldn’t still respond.
Brandy Brown [00:20:03]:
I feel like that was something I was also, ingrained in me. What you know, I stay trained and taught because your behaviors are really infusing you from an early age, and they just continue to mature. So if if I can think back to that, even a response meant that’s the last words that should come from you. Being on mute is such a powerful, powerful manipulative or manipulation tool. And whether it’s unconscious or conscious from someone who, you know, is is persons that are creating this instance for others, you lose the ability to understand how to continue a conversation. Communication is broken. There are just so many instances that reveal power and loss or lack of power from the person that’s experiencing this volume turned down. So I bring it back to, and I I’m looking down because I think about all of these moments.
Brandy Brown [00:21:10]:
They kind of all go in my head together. If I could have gone back in time and reacted, I had moments in my teens, in my twenties, in my thirties. And the ability to address, again, was divinely designed for me to be in a space where a rebuttal didn’t make me feel caught off guard. I had more to respond to, and I can attribute all of that to experience, life, trinity. I needed all of those things. I needed to develop. I needed to observe amazing people. And, you know, it was my career at Comcast, twenty two years of career where I could observe the best of the best in my opinion.
Brandy Brown [00:22:01]:
I saw fatherhood, motherhood, sibling relationships, professional relationships. I saw relationships I didn’t care for, and I saw those that I fell in love with. And it was those that were most harmful, most harmful, think about that. That created what what Comcast called it, framed it one time, I remember moments of misery. Those moments stand out to you most. And what that inspired in me before I knew who I was today, was how do I not create that type of memorable moment for someone? How do I make it so that the moment that’s memorable is excellent or, as I might say, is magnificent? So I appreciate that question. I don’t get to think that way a lot. So, yeah, you’re taking me on a journey here.
Brandy Brown [00:22:52]:
I appreciate it.
Bernie Borges [00:22:53]:
So okay. So I wanna come back to something you said. You said it a couple of times. And before you said it, I was thinking about this. So so you you kind of you helped me get there, and that is the word confidence. You also use the word maturity. And it seems to me that both of those are in play here, That when you had this divine experience at age 45, you had both the confidence and the maturity to come off mute. And maybe you can unpack that a little bit.
Bernie Borges [00:23:26]:
Yeah. You’ve spoken to it a little bit, but I wanna I wanna specifically go there. And and and, Brandy, not just because of your story, but, again, I’m thinking I’m the listener. And what might they be? My what might someone listening to this be dealing with where they need to think of their own confidence and their own maturity to come off mute?
Brandy Brown [00:23:48]:
Goodness. What a great opportunity to really reflect on maturity and confidence. I just wanna thank you for the question. It’s something I don’t know that we all sit with openly. And so if if I’m thinking of the listener and even connecting that to myself, maturity only progresses in our life. It only evolves and gets better. And I can’t say that someone who’s experienced, you know, various different things isn’t more mature or less than I was at 25 or even 45. But what I will say is that life experiences, whether that was loss, you know, I’ve I’ve suffered tremendous loss, including children.
Brandy Brown [00:24:36]:
I have dealt with illness in my life on multiple occasions with different diagnosis that have taken me on very unique journeys. I’ve dealt with interesting circumstances in workplace that have been, as I will go back to, the assignment. All of these things were the assignment. And what I can say is that each of these instances and prevailing, right, my resilience, my celebration of a new day is what gives me the confidence to be able to stand tall in new circumstances because I can look at what I’ve overcome. I can look at what I’ve survived. I can look at where I’ve triumphed in instances where maybe I shouldn’t have. I remember being very, very young, maybe five or six years old, and not knowing what it was like to think about reaching teen years or reaching 21 years of age. Like, that that that just wasn’t in my mind because of what my circumstances were.
Brandy Brown [00:25:41]:
And so if you think about moving forward and just really being able to celebrate each day what you’ve overcome, again, how you’ve matured. The fact that you survive, thrive, move forward is another notch on that maturity belt. And so every day, I am becoming more and more mature, and I’m also becoming more and more confident. And my confidence only comes from when I fall and get right back up. And believe me, I got a number of bruises and scrapes and scratches, and my knees are discolored. I I fall a lot, and yet I can celebrate that. I absolutely appreciate how pain is translated into purpose. Yeah.
Brandy Brown [00:26:32]:
I do. Yeah.
Bernie Borges [00:26:33]:
So very, very inspiring. I thoroughly enjoyed this conversation. And the the one thing I’ll add to that before we get to a wrap point here is that, you know, sometimes we need speaking generally and also speaking for myself, vulnerably, sometimes we need someone in our life to help us understand
Brandy Brown [00:26:55]:
Yes.
Bernie Borges [00:26:56]:
The maturity that we have and the confidence that we have, you know, just by being a shoulder lean on and maybe a a positive voice in our ear with some words of encouragement. And so, again, I’m speaking to the listener now. Maybe you have someone in your life that, you know, you can positively influence, or maybe you’re in need of that positive influence, whichever way it may be. I think any one of us might be in need of that. And and your story, Brandy, is very inspiring, very encouraging, and I thank you for not just sharing it here today on this episode of the Midlife Fulfilled podcast, but, you know, you your call to do this now in the world with your book and your workshops and your business that’s really taken this message out to help others. So where can people connect with you and just learn more about all that you’ve got going on and get into your world?
Brandy Brown [00:27:50]:
Definitely connect with me. You can follow my website magnify-success.com. I’m also found on LinkedIn, magnify success, as well as Brandy Brown.
Bernie Borges [00:28:04]:
And Brandy, I’ll point out to the listener who may not be watching on video, you spell your name b r a n d e e. Yes.
Brandy Brown [00:28:12]:
And brown just like the color.
Bernie Borges [00:28:14]:
Just like the color. There you go.
Brandy Brown [00:28:15]:
And I celebrate that BB right along with you, Bernie.
Bernie Borges [00:28:18]:
Alright. Well, BB, thank you so much. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed our conversation, and I’m confident that it’s been an inspiration to many. And, just thank you and congratulations for the work that you’re doing. You are making an impact. Thank you, Brandy.
Brandy Brown [00:28:35]:
Thank you, Bernie.
