Bernie Borges [00:00:00]:
Nicole and Anne Marie, welcome to the Midlife Fulfilled podcast.
Nicole Gray [00:00:04]:
Hey, Bernie. How are you?
Ann Marie [00:00:05]:
Hey, Bernie. It’s good to see you.
Bernie Borges [00:00:08]:
It’s good to see you both. And I have to say that, you know, this is actually the first time. You’re the first time that I’m having two people, two guests at the same time.
Ann Marie [00:00:17]:
Oh, okay. So this
Bernie Borges [00:00:19]:
is a yeah. It’s a milestone. It’s a milestone.
Nicole Gray [00:00:23]:
I love
Bernie Borges [00:00:24]:
it. I love it. I love it. I love what the both of you do. You know, when we first connected, it was like an instant bond. Like, we are cut from the same cloth. The two of you cohost the What’s Next Gen X podcast, and you say that your mission is to empower Gen xers to own their next chapter on their terms. And there are so many things that are similar to what I’m doing on the Midlife Football podcast, so I’ve really been looking forward to this conversation.
Bernie Borges [00:00:57]:
So let’s begin with the backstory. Like, how did the two of you get to this podcast? Give us the backstory.
Ann Marie [00:01:03]:
Yeah. Sure. So so I’ll start, Bernie. So, gosh, it’s been, probably a year and a half ago or so. And, my other half, he was laid off. Right? And it was well, actually, it might have been a little more than a year and a half ago now. At the same time, I was also seeing so many of my former colleagues in the tech space getting laid off. Right? And these were good people.
Ann Marie [00:01:24]:
These are not these are not slackers. Right? These are really good people and teammates. And it was all of a sudden this realization that, oh my gosh. We’re in a certain decade. Right? We’re starting a certain point where it might be expensive at work, so easy to, you know, go on the the rift chopping block lock if you would. And and the conversation was, what do you do next? Right? Because for many of us, we’ve been working in corporate for, oh, let’s just say twenty five years or more. Right? And the conversation comes to, like, what happens when? What happens if you get laid off? And so I started down this whole path of what’s next gen x. In particular, I started focusing on a lot of fractional consulting of what what are people doing.
Ann Marie [00:02:03]:
Because as my other half, he was starting he was starting to do fractional. He was trying to figure it out, like, everything. How do you start a business? How do you fundamentally do this? How do you get how do you learn how to sell your services when you’re coming out of corporate? Right? All of these conversations came about. And what was really fascinating is is that we talked to people about this is that it would be like this secret whisper. Oh, no. I’m good. Yeah. I’m good here.
Ann Marie [00:02:23]:
I’m I’m you know, I’ve I’ve been here for eighteen years. Like, I just wanna ride this out. And then all of a sudden, you’d hear a whisper. But what I’d really like to do is or but what I, you know, I would love to leave at some point. Like, I would love to do this. And listen. We’re not telling you to quit your job at any point. We’re telling you to figure out and start now and think about what your what.
Ann Marie [00:02:43]:
What’s next is. And we like to say on the what’s next, John Next podcast, it’s great information and inspiration to help you level up your career life and impact. And the big part of this podcast has been my friend, Nicole Ray. And so Nicole and I used to work together. And about, like, a year or so into it, I had seen that unfortunately, Nicole had gotten laid off from a company that that, she and I had previously worked at, and I had left the company in advance of the layoff to to join another startup. And I’d seen that she got laid off, but I’d also seen that she had been doing a coaching program. And so, like, I’ve been following her LinkedIn or a few things. I just reached out.
Ann Marie [00:03:18]:
I said, hey, Nicole. Let’s have a conversation. She thought I was here to sell something. I wasn’t. It was the idea of how can I help? And so and she’s like, hey, Emery. Did you know that I love to do podcasting and podcasting for years? And so then the What’s Next Gen X podcast was started. Nicole, you wanna take it from from that point? Because I think that’s where it really started to to to blow up a bit. Yeah.
Ann Marie [00:03:39]:
Yeah. And she and I
Nicole Gray [00:03:40]:
and she always teased me about that. I did not think she was selling me something for me.
Ann Marie [00:03:48]:
Salesperson by nature. I get it.
Nicole Gray [00:03:51]:
Right. Right. Yeah. So before I dive into that, just real quick with my backstory, you know, true Gen Xer. I knew I was going to college from the womb. Mhmm. Oldest daughter, rule follower. So, you know, went to college.
Nicole Gray [00:04:02]:
And and ironically enough, my background was broadcasting. So, you know, always thought I’d be doing I did a little TV local TV news. That didn’t work out. My parents said get a real job, got into, you know, SaaS companies, tech, that whole nine. And like Amber was saying, like a lot of us, twenty plus years, in the business. And, you know, with the company that we were working at, you know, managed teams and then got laid off. And it was like, what just happened? So and, again, like I always tell people, I’m not naive to getting laid off. I know how business works.
Nicole Gray [00:04:35]:
All of us know how business works. And if not even this could have to me, it’s just when it happens, you’re like, what? You know? Because, you know, I equate it to dating somebody you don’t care for and you’re gonna break up with them, but then they break up with you first. So it just didn’t fit because it was like, wait a second. I was gonna leave you. You can’t leave me. So, you know, that’s how a lot of gymnastics feel. But I knew, honestly, Bernie, right off the bat that I was not going back to corporate. The thought of putting together a resume honestly made me ill.
Nicole Gray [00:05:03]:
And the thought of sitting across the sun somebody asking me, what do you wanna do the next five years? That was just not gonna happen. So when Anne Marie reached out, I remember we said, we’re gonna have a short conversation. I think we talked for, like, three or four hours, and we did it for, like, a stretch. Yeah. Because we we just got it. We we knew that the pain was out there, and and that was the biggest thing. Like, she was saying that whisper up, what’s next? Or, well, I’ve always wanted to do this, and I was one of those too. And, you know, my nature of always helping, it was easy to go into coaching.
Nicole Gray [00:05:34]:
So with the what’s next gen x, you know, kind of applying that, but I think our biggest thing is everybody has this thing of I’ve always wanted to do this, but I didn’t. We find most people got into a career that wasn’t the career they wanted. They kind of settled. So, you know, I think it’s a blessing that we’re having these not only we’re having these conversations, and, Britney, you’re having these conversations, but we’re really in tune to Gen x as far as, like, you know what? I actually I got some time because we’re even though we know retirement’s right there, nobody’s really having those conversations because it’s one of those things where, like, for me, I have a fourth grader. I’m not looking to retire anytime soon. Or I have you know, people have older parents, whatever their situation. We know it’s there, but we’re not ready yet. So we gotta figure out what’s next.
Nicole Gray [00:06:22]:
Okay.
Bernie Borges [00:06:23]:
Now as you know, my platform is the five pillars of life. Right? Health Mhmm. Fitness, career, relationships, and legacy. Obviously, career is that middle pillar. Right? Yeah. So there’s in front of it and two two after it, but it’s humongous. We spend most of our waking life in in our careers. And you both said something in in kinda similar words, and that is that people in midlife, when they get laid off, which seems to be more common than uncommon these days, they think about not only what’s next, but what’s next that I really wanna do.
Bernie Borges [00:07:00]:
So Yes. Let’s unpack that because I hear that all the time as well. Like I said, when we connected, we bonded, like, instantly because I’m hearing the same thing. So unpack that. Like, as you are interviewing people on your podcast, that whole topic of, like, I really wanna do something else that I’m passionate about.
Ann Marie [00:07:18]:
Well, the first part is what’s really interesting in midlife, and I know you see this too, Bernie, especially with Giant Xers. We were brought up in this work culture. Nicole alluded to it. We were sold this exact program. You go to college, you get a job, then you go back and get your MBA, and then you get a better job, and then you get another title, and you get another letter and report your title. Right? And all these kinds of things. And you you follow this plan. And now what we’re seeing is that gen xers are starting to think about, okay, what do I want to do? How do I take this into my next phase? Because we’re not ready to retire.
Ann Marie [00:07:46]:
We’re not and even retirement doesn’t look like it would for our parents. There’s no rocking chairs involved. Right? And especially with just finances and everything, it it’s a very different world. When we speak to many of these gen xers, the first thing they do is they describe their title and their corporate pathway. Alright? And then you sort of break it down and say, okay. What do you really like about your job? What what’s the information that you’re using at your job? How do you synthesize your knowledge? How do you break it down? And then they start thinking about, like, are my skills transferable, or am I a corporate level five logistics coordinator, managers, director, whatever it is, right, for life? Like, is there really another market out there? They start to think about, like, what do I have? For many Gen Xers, we’ve been so ingrained in this corporate job description path and, you know, annual review that it’s such a limitation on our thoughts. And that’s where Nicole and I really dig in, and and we call them out, and we say, you are more than just your job title. You know more than you than you think, and now is the time for for us to help them see the possibility that they have.
Ann Marie [00:08:49]:
We have one gentleman, that actually left his corporate job at a very large tech company and now runs a coffee shop, right, and a whole coffee business. And you don’t think of those as an engineering skills as instantly transferrable, but it’s like this is all of a sudden what he wanted to do. And what he did is what we recommend. You start as a side job or a side hustle. I hate that term, but you start figuring it out on the side. Like, do what you wanna do. Iterate there on the side with little risk so that when you’re ready when you’re ready to take that leap, you have the information that that you need, and you can step into your authentic eye career. Right? Nicole?
Nicole Gray [00:09:31]:
Yeah. I was just gonna say, Gen Xers, we don’t give ourselves enough credit. You know, we look at I’m a lawyer. I’m a VP of sales. I’m this. I’m that. Not realizing not only do we have soft skills, we actually had hobbies and passions. We were so focused and heads down on, well, I wanna do so you know, I wanna do good in this job.
Nicole Gray [00:09:47]:
I wanna make a lot of money. And then when I leave this job, I’ll do this. So that’s why when you get laid off or you realize this is the company for me, you’re kinda like, what what else can I do? So they’ll come to us and they’ll be like, well, I can only do this. And then we talk to them, and it’s like, there’s 15 different things that you can do. And that’s kind of the one thing that Genex has to do better of. You’re not just limited to that one thing. You can actually, you know, you can actually bake cakes. You could actually like gardening.
Nicole Gray [00:10:13]:
You could actually you know, maybe you were good with with kids and you were an attorney, but then you realized, oh, I wanna open a day care. Whatever. The idea is just try it and Yeah. Look to see. Don’t limit yourself. And and that’s the beauty of it. You have these people like the guy, Anne Marie was talking about. You know, he was just like, who’d ever think I’d wanna be a barista or, you know, own this coffee company? And, of course, you know, he didn’t get a lot of looks because that’s nothing that we do.
Nicole Gray [00:10:38]:
We gotta do better on when somebody says they’re gonna leave their company. We gotta do better with, like, what? Instead of, you know, we need to be like, how are you doing that? Because Right. I mean, that’s a gift with us. We’ve gone through so many iterations, excuse me, of innovation that there are so many different things that we could do, but we don’t give ourselves enough credit.
Bernie Borges [00:10:57]:
Yeah. Where I see some similarity in conversations that I have in particular with coaching clients is I go through this exercise of what are your current values and align your current values because they’re not the same. They’re likely not the same as they were when you were just coming out of college. What are your current values? And align those with your current career and your career aspirations. And, usually, there’s a there’s a gap there, and that begins to sort of create some self awareness around where that gap is. And and then and and so that leads me to the the next thought. And that is that oftentimes, there is a lack of self confidence, and you’ve both kind of alluded to it. But let’s unpack that a little bit because, you know, you both said you you know, you these are people who are not slackers.
Bernie Borges [00:11:46]:
Right? They’re talented, hardworking, and and and, again, experienced intelligent people that either have been through a layoff or they reach a point where they go, I just can’t do this anymore. Mhmm. But there is still, at least what I’ve encountered, some sense of, like, can I really do this? Yeah. You know? It’s almost like asking for permission. Right? So what do you see there?
Ann Marie [00:12:11]:
So I’m gonna use an analogy, and then I’m gonna I’m gonna leave the analogy there, and then Nicole’s gonna go because I know I know her well enough. So okay. Let me let me bring you way in the way, way, way back machine. When you were looking for a job, your senior year of college, you went to your guidance counselor, or not the guidance counselor. You went to the career center. And in the career center, they had job postings and jobs thing. You probably met with a counselor who said, like, oh, like, if you had a degree in economics, you could be good for these jobs, these options, these options. Right? Because you have the skills.
Ann Marie [00:12:38]:
Right now, there’s nobody out there that’s telling them that you could be good at these skills, and these skills are transferable. Right? And something where, like like, there’s nobody telling them other than what they fit into in that corporate those corporate guide rails. I’m gonna let you go in a quick at all.
Nicole Gray [00:12:52]:
Well and and then with that, we’re the title generation. We’re big on I’m I’m Nicole Gray. I’m the VP of whatever. I’m Bernie. I’m the director of so and so. So then when you don’t have that title, you’re kinda like, well, what else can I do? And it’s like that title wasn’t you. That literally was just the job that you were doing, but you are not your job. You still had an impact within the organization.
Nicole Gray [00:13:15]:
So for a lot of Gen Xers, it’s trying to, you know, trying to get that in your mind as far as I could still do this, but I don’t have to worry about the title. You can just be like, hey. I’m Nicole Gray, and I do blah blah blah blah. It doesn’t don’t get caught up in the title. There’s a lot of stuff that I can do. I don’t have time to list it, but I do this. And it may not be director, manager, or whatever. And that’s the part that where that confidence comes in that they get hung up on.
Nicole Gray [00:13:39]:
Well, I don’t know if I could do it because, like Amber was saying, maybe I didn’t go to school for it. Maybe that wasn’t my job. But guess what? You can still do it. There’s a lot of things that I do that I did not go to school for. And I think that’s the thing we kinda have to figure out. Because let me tell you, the generations behind us, they could care less about titles. They their value system is, do I believe in this company?
Ann Marie [00:14:00]:
Is it
Nicole Gray [00:14:00]:
gonna make me happy? Like, money isn’t in their even top five, whereas for us, we were always told by our parents, and I love them because boomer parents, it was big it was big for them with money and all that. But you get that degree, you get the money. And we’re gonna have we’re trying to figure out, like, oh, you mean I could actually like something? Like, the money will come, but I could actually enjoy it. I could actually be happy. And that’s, I think, the part that Gen x is still trying to figure out.
Ann Marie [00:14:24]:
Yeah. And let me add one more thing on that is that I am a firm believer in the phrase start before you are ready. And the problem is as a Gen Xer with twenty plus years of corporate experience, you’re used to having to have everything go out the door perfect, right, ready for the Super Bowl ad. The reality is is that and this is why Nicole and I always say, don’t quit your day job. Start, like, doing something on the side. Build it on the side. Right? And the reason is you’re going to get confident the more that you do this and the more that you see that you have transferable skills and the more that you see that you can pursue things other than that formal job title and job description. Action makes confidence.
Bernie Borges [00:15:05]:
Okay. Love all that. I wanna come back to something that I said at the the when I was teeing up the last question. Because as I was listening to you both, I was just wondering to myself how much of that is in play? And that is this concept of people giving themselves permission to go do something else in this what’s next chapter.
Ann Marie [00:15:26]:
Mhmm.
Bernie Borges [00:15:26]:
How much do you encounter that?
Ann Marie [00:15:29]:
All the time. I would say you you gotta give yourself grace and space. Right? Because oftentimes, we don’t give ourselves the grace to make mistakes, to try something, to figure it out, to not know everything. Like, it’s as I was saying, like, it’s you don’t need another course. Like, just, like, get in with the right group of people that are willing to help you, to guide you to try it. Right? Give yourself that grace, and then you need that space. So you need a little bit of time. Right? It might not it you might not be able to to develop the next Google Google in the next six weeks.
Ann Marie [00:16:00]:
That’s okay. That’s okay. Give yourself some space. Find some time. Listen. You can watch that Netflix show later. Spend a little bit of time listening to a podcast that will help get you get you motivated into the next next to find your what’s next, Nicole.
Nicole Gray [00:16:14]:
Well, I was gonna yeah.
Ann Marie [00:16:15]:
I was gonna say, you
Nicole Gray [00:16:15]:
know what cracks me up, Bernie? We are literally a generation to where we were out all night at 10 years old, and our parents didn’t know where we were, but we were okay. We drank out of a hose. Like, we did all those things. But yet somewhere along the line, genetics feel like they have to be perfect. And it’s like but we didn’t grow up perfect. We were we were messy and and rebels and, you know, we were we were the breakfast club and, you know, we were we were all that. But somewhere along the line, I don’t know, somewhere we feel like it has to be perfect and it doesn’t. And we’re not saying if it’s messy, it doesn’t work.
Nicole Gray [00:16:46]:
We’re just saying stop overthinking, and that’s what Genex has to do. They have to give their permission to be give themselves permission to be like, you know, I’m just gonna try. What else do I have to lose? And that’s my whole thing is, what do you have to lose? Just just try it. You know, when you meet people who are like, you know, well, I’m thinking about, you know, being a full time gardener. Okay. Go for it. I mean, you’ve let you’ve let international global teams. Why couldn’t you keep plants alive?
Ann Marie [00:17:09]:
You know? It’s like I was trying to get people. Nicole doesn’t know this. I was working we use Canva for all of our social media stuff, which is super easy, and I was kind of playing around with it earlier. And I’m like I’m like, okay. What’s the and I was literally writing trying to write this up for social media posts. I’m like, like, what’s the worst thing that happens if you fail at starting something on the side? Like, while you have a job, guess what it does? It gives you additional skills and additional confidence to know that you can at least try and start to do some things. It gives you knowledge in a different area that you didn’t have. Right? And, literally, you have to keep iterating.
Ann Marie [00:17:42]:
Like, everybody forgets that Facebook wasn’t Facebook before it was Facebook. It was a totally different product. Right? And it’s like you have to start now, and you have to start finding out what works.
Nicole Gray [00:17:53]:
Yeah. And I think another piece of that too is Genex is realizing that we’ve kind of looked up and we’re looking at each other. Community plays a big part. It’s so funny. We started out growing up. We was always a community of us, but somewhere on the line, we’re kinda like, I got this. Heads down. So we keep thinking, oh, it’s just me.
Nicole Gray [00:18:09]:
It’s just me. It’s just me. But then you look up and you realize you’re looking at also millions of other people going, oh, we’re all having these same thoughts. So we have to do better with community. That’s big for us too. Yeah. Yes.
Bernie Borges [00:18:20]:
Okay. Let me let me get personal. I think I’ve shared this with you both, and I’m gonna share this, with anybody who’s listening to this episode. In December of twenty twenty four, I left a corporate job that I was in for three and a half years. Good job. I saw the handwriting on the wall. I knew it was coming. I was part of a layoff, which I fully anticipated.
Bernie Borges [00:18:40]:
And to both of your points, I had been hosting this podcast, the Midlife Fulfilled podcast, for almost three years, and, you know, building a little business on the side. It it was literally a side hustle. But I knew the day was gonna come in 2025 when I would be diving in full time with both feet, and that that day came at the December year just before the holiday. So as of the first of of January twenty twenty five, I’m in this full time, and I’m doing executive coaching. I’m doing speaking and workshops is is my primary revenue stream. What I’ve done is I’ve developed a three year plan. And year one, which is 2025, year one is about getting it off the ground. And I am giving myself I think, Ann Marie, you’re the one who’s used this phrase.
Bernie Borges [00:19:29]:
I am giving myself the grace of the fact that this year is about getting it off the ground. And what that does is it, to use a phrase I used earlier, gives me permission to do the activities that I need to do to get the business off the ground.
Nicole Gray [00:19:44]:
Mhmm.
Bernie Borges [00:19:44]:
So that in 2026, it’s positioned for what I envision it to be in 2026 and positions me to be where I envision the the business being in 2027. Mhmm. So the point I’m getting at is that I recognize that, yeah, Ann Marie, I think it was also you who said, you know, you’re not gonna build the next thing in six weeks. That’s just not reality for most people. It might be for some. There might be some people who can do that. Totally. Exception, not the norm.
Bernie Borges [00:20:14]:
Your thoughts?
Nicole Gray [00:20:16]:
Well, have you ever watched a cooking show? You know, they they show you put out they put everything in the bowl, then they come up and it’s like, voila. Here it is. That’s not real life. It’s it’s messy. You’re throwing stuff. You’re you’re trying to figure it out. Is it the right recipe and things like that? That’s what we’re saying. That’s what you’re you’re dealing with.
Nicole Gray [00:20:33]:
It’s not gonna be perfect. You kinda have to figure stuff out. Like you, Bernie, my first year of my coaching, it was you know, I didn’t I was very realistic. I didn’t go into this going, oh, I’m gonna be a millionaire. You know, I’m gonna have this so and so master class. It was just put it out there and see what happens. I got four clients my first year. You would have thought I had 10,000 clients.
Nicole Gray [00:20:53]:
Because when I got that first client, it was like, oh, now we’re cooking. Again, very realistic, but the idea is I put it out there. And I think that’s the thing. It’s Gen x. You just have to put it out there. And we’re still tinkering even with what’s next Gen x. We’re still behind the scenes of the cooking show, figuring out the flavors, what we’re putting in the bowl. Does this work? We don’t like this.
Nicole Gray [00:21:13]:
And that’s okay because it’s gonna get to that point where it’s just right to where we do say, voila, here’s the cake. But in the interim Right. We’re gonna have some test cakes, and that’s okay.
Ann Marie [00:21:23]:
And we’re gonna have some fails. Right? And it’s the idea that we just keep iterating, keep iterating. And, you know, I like, I’m just like, I always keep pressing in Nicole. I’m like, okay. What’s the problem we’re solving for? Like, how’s our ideal client gonna respond to this? Like, I I I when I pitched what’s next gen x, I really, like, laid it out as far as who’s our ideal client? What are they struggling with? What are they looking to do? And you have to keep thinking that way. You also have to keep thinking there’s a great book about it, like, 10 x is greater than two x. And it’s the idea of you have to keep thinking bigger. So, Bernie, I love that you’ve got a three year plan because sometimes people are just thinking they’re thinking too small.
Ann Marie [00:21:59]:
They’re thinking like, oh, I just need to get my first four clients. Well, no, girl. Like, I wanna get you bigger than that. Right? Like like like but it might not be overnight. And the idea is if you’re on social media, you’re not gonna see a lot of Gen Xers talking about this. Right? This is the other thing. And that and there’s a lot of midlifers that are saying, you gotta be smart. You gotta start figuring out how to build whatever it is you want on the side, whether it’s it’s ready for fractional consulting so that when you get that, you know, December 31 notification, right, you’re ready to go in in your industry, whether it’s your gardening business on the side, whether it’s coffee, whether it’s a podcast coaching, whatever it is.
Ann Marie [00:22:36]:
But you need to lay the groundwork now and start before you’re ready.
Nicole Gray [00:22:41]:
Yeah. I was gonna say social media kinda gives us a bad rep because it always looks like we’re on a yacht enjoying midlife or, you know, we’re having some champagne or whatever. And it’s like, that’s not that you know, I I I get tired of those ads because that’s not truthful. And if you’re doing that, god bless you. But for a lot of us, we’re trying to figure out, you know, what facility should I put my parents in or if they’re having issues or my college kids might be moving back home or or things like that. And it’s like, it’s not saying midlife is doom and gloom, but we’re having real conversations, not just the whole, oh, I turned 50 and, boy, you know, this is good. That’s great. But there’s so there’s so much more to it than that.
Ann Marie [00:23:14]:
Well, the other thing on that too is, like, if you’re thinking about doing a side business and you just put in Google, like, side business or side hustle, you get this crazy 22 year old yelling at you about bro culture. And it’s like, hold on. That’s not what I’m talking about. Right? And it’s just it doesn’t relate to where you are in life, like Nicole said and Bernie, like, you do with five pillars. Right? The idea is there’s so much else going on in our lives. We have to be cognizant of that and work with that that is custom to where our life is at now.
Bernie Borges [00:23:42]:
Yeah. I also I wanna use a phrase that I’ve used for a long time, and I really believe in this phrase, and I think it’s applicable and relevant to everything we’re discussing here today. And that is when someone is getting into this, what’s next? And and it’s something new and different, and maybe it’s a little scary. I go into it even though I have my three year plan. I’ve got a documented three year plan, and it’s detailed, but I still have this this mindset of ready, buyer, aim. Mhmm. And what I mean by that is Yep. Once I’m in there or to your point, putting myself out there with the services that that I’m I’m marketing, once I’m out there, that’s that’s ready.
Bernie Borges [00:24:28]:
So I’m out there. I’m out there with it. Well and now I’m firing with that. Well, along the way, I’m gonna get some feedback, and I’m gonna respond to that feedback, not not, you know, knee jerk response, but I’m gonna take it all in. Yeah. And maybe, you know, it might might deviate a little bit in in some direction. I might I might tweak it a little bit. Right? So it’s about being ready and then getting out there.
Bernie Borges [00:24:53]:
That’s the fire part. And then learning where exactly you need to aim based on everything that’s going on around you.
Ann Marie [00:25:01]:
And you gotta see what sticks. Right? Like, you have to see what sticks. Like, what works, what resonates, what feels good. Like, you just that’s the only way to do it. And you can you can get some ideas out there of what is looking and what’s sticking. Like, obviously, there’s data. If you’re coming to corporate world, you know, it’s all about being data driven. Like, listen.
Ann Marie [00:25:19]:
Again, this is transferable skills. You’ll figure it out. But the idea is you have to see what sticks. You have to remain fluid and open, which is something where you have to have that confidence in yourself because there’s gonna be low points. But cynical sports, that’s where you have to have a community. The community of other individuals is so important because when you’re having that low point, you’re probably sitting there by yourself. You’re like, oh my gosh. I’ve only gotten four coaching clients.
Ann Marie [00:25:42]:
I should have 10 right now. What am I doing? Can somebody take a look at my offer? Right? Can somebody take a look at what do you think about this? Like, you have to have that community to support them.
Nicole Gray [00:25:51]:
Yeah. Bernadette, I love what you said because, like, for me, I declared this year the year of me, and I consider that my energy. So I’m just gonna try it because, again, I’m, you know, a former overthinker. Yes. I will do the 12 step program, but every once in a while, I find myself doing it. It’s just put it out there. And if you don’t like it, it is what it is. But I feel good as far as, like, I had an idea.
Nicole Gray [00:26:11]:
I executed it. I put it out there. And that’s what you that’s what you need to do. Stop overthinking it. Is it somebody gonna like it? It’s like, girl or boy, you’re not that big or somebody’s worried about you. Okay? Just put yourself out there. You are not I mean, you don’t have a million followers. You just started this company.
Nicole Gray [00:26:26]:
Why are you tripping on the six people who like your stuff? Just put it out there and be done with it. And that’s that’s my whole attitude this year.
Ann Marie [00:26:33]:
Totally. And people are so afraid to put things out there. What is the most amazing thing that we have seen? Every time we put them out there, right, either, again, it’s somebody who’s working currently in the corporate market or looking for something or everything from a handyman to our friend coffee. Right? Like, starting new business, you know what the response has been? Amazingly supportive from all of your peers. Like, your peers and your allies are supportive. Like, you’re not gonna get these haters. Like, come on. You’re not that big.
Ann Marie [00:27:02]:
Like, it’s just like, put it out there and people will support you.
Bernie Borges [00:27:06]:
You know what irks me, and I see this a lot, and I know it’s clickbait, but it can it can really get to you is, you know, you’re online, you’re reading the news or whatever, a website, and you see a a little link with a headline that says, you know, so and so, started a side hustle business, left a corporate job, and now they’re making a hundred and $12,000 a month.
Ann Marie [00:27:29]:
Yeah. Mhmm.
Bernie Borges [00:27:30]:
You know? And and look. If that’s a true story, if it’s a true story, good for them. Right. Good for them. Yeah. But it then places this false expectation and pressure on everybody else. Like, that should be what you’re doing, what you experience. And it’s just not reality.
Ann Marie [00:27:48]:
At all. It’s not. And that’s the problem with social media. Right? But and that’s why it’s almost like, you know so part of social media is is the idea of, like, what you see in your algorithm. It it’s probably not, you know, you put in starting a business, and they’re gonna give you this bro culture that started a hundred and now has a 12,000 a month, right, and is in a private plane. That private plane might not be real. Right? But the idea is it’s still showing up, and it still makes you feel bad. So, no, stay focused on what you have.
Ann Marie [00:28:16]:
Continue to focus on the iteration. You know, we love to tell people all about our club gen x community, and the reason is because it’s a place where gen xers can go and have conversations about this. It’s private. It’s not Facebook. You’re not gonna be found on the algorithm. You’re not posting on LinkedIn. Right? And the idea is, like, have a conversation about what you need to have a conversation about. Right? And get that support that you need because you’re right.
Ann Marie [00:28:40]:
That comparison, like, it’s just obviously, you put it into YouTube and you get it’s just it’s not good. It’s not good. Just stay your course and find your support group.
Bernie Borges [00:28:49]:
I I wanna I wanna come back to, sorry to call. I’ll come back to you in a minute. I wanna come back to a point that, that I think, Ann Marie, you’re the one who made the point, and that’s community. So I I started a mastermind group, and and I went and I wrote up, like, here’s what I’m looking for. And if you’re interested, this these are the rules. And if you’re not interested, then go find a different mastermind group. This is the way I’m gonna run my mastermind group. And we have 10 people in it.
Bernie Borges [00:29:14]:
It’s the perfect size.
Ann Marie [00:29:16]:
Yeah.
Bernie Borges [00:29:16]:
You know? No more, no less. But and it’s hugely valuable. We’re all in similar, not exactly the same, you know, scenarios. Again, not exactly the same. None of us overlap and do exactly what the other another person in the group does, but it’s hugely valid with that community. And we it’s on the calendar. We meet twice a month, and I just recommend anybody. If you’re gonna do a next chapter, do something like that.
Ann Marie [00:29:42]:
Yep. Find your people. Right? And Nicole is the queen of the community. Right? I have to say, I’m I’m I’m more IT support. Like like, she’s such a good coach in there and, like, it’s just like, you have to get with those people. I actually spoke, one of our our colleagues invited, invited me to speak on her community yesterday, which was just like that. And her community is designed for women who are at work and who wanna figure out, like, they need to support. These companies are no longer paying for these programs.
Ann Marie [00:30:13]:
They’re no longer paying for you to be in a leadership development course. They’re no longer paying for you to be in a affinity group. Right? They’re no longer supporting you in these ways. You have to find your tribe of people no matter where you are and no matter what your interest is.
Bernie Borges [00:30:29]:
Yeah. Let’s come to some closing thoughts. And and, Nicole, I’ll start with you, and I invite you to promote anything you wanna promote around the What’s Next Gen x podcast, and just anything and everything, including how people can, connect with the both of you.
Nicole Gray [00:30:46]:
Yeah. Well, you know, we talked about it. Our our community is open right now, so it’s free today, as far as Club Genex, and Bernie will make sure you have the link and all that good stuff. We’re also looking at doing some workshops in the future. We have a dinner series that we’re working on too, because we also think that face to face and real life connection is key for Gen x as well. So we’re excited about that. Today, you can find us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify. We have our YouTube channel, of course, LinkedIn as well.
Nicole Gray [00:31:15]:
And not only what’s next gen x, but also my information from renewed impact. You know, the biggest thing with with what we’re doing is we don’t see this as far as just even a podcast. We see this as a movement. There’s we’re 65,000,000 strong. We’re not going anywhere. We haven’t even scratched the surface of how many Gen Xers we can reach. So we’re excited, if you’re hearing this today to, you know, pass this episode along to some friends, have some conversations, reach out to us. We’d love you to be part of Club Gen X.
Nicole Gray [00:31:41]:
But the main thing is, you know, we’re the Genexers to where we’re not here to just blend in. We want you to shine, and we want you to do your best. And we’re just excited to that we had this opportunity. And thank you so much, Bernie, for inviting us in your podcast. I’m so glad we had the opportunity to meet, and we got the synergy. And I know we’ll be working together some more in the in the future as well.
Bernie Borges [00:31:59]:
Absolutely. Anne Marie.
Ann Marie [00:32:02]:
Yeah. You know, again, start before you’re ready. Just start and get going. If you need if you need any information, just ping us. We have a a free twenty five minute conversation that we’ll we’ll have with you so you can have us in your lunch. The, you know, the idea is you talked about your three year plan. So the the big audacious goal is to create the world’s largest community of gen xers. And so that is the big scary audacious goal, and it and it is because where do we go? Like, where do we go on the Internet? We go all over different platforms.
Ann Marie [00:32:30]:
How do we find each other again? Like, come in and support each other because we are just better together, and we wanna help you find your next, find your next dream, find your next motivation, find your next fulfillment and happiness. Right? And everything that we do, also recommend listening to Bernie’s podcast episode on the What’s Next Gen X podcast because we we loved having a conversation with Bernie. And just, you know, come in and and hang out with us and and join us, and, it’ll be great fun.
Bernie Borges [00:32:59]:
Fantastic. Thank you so much, both of you. So I will include in the show notes a link to your website as well as both of your LinkedIn profiles as well. As I’ve said, I think twice so far in this episode, from our very first connection, you know, we bonded instantly. We’ve got a ton of alignment. I love what you’re doing and the value that you’re delivering to, to the world. And, let’s just continue to do that together and collaborate wherever we can and get this message out there. And, again, thank you so much to the both of you, Anne Marie and Nicole, for joining me for this episode of the Midlife Fulfilled podcast.
Nicole Gray [00:33:36]:
Thanks, Bernie.
