Tim Washer | Midlife Fulfilled Podcast
128

Ep 128 The Superpower of Comedy to Build Trust in Relationships

Tim Washer explains the superpower of comedy, how laughter can help repair damaged trust in relationships, and is a differentiator in business settings.

On episode 128 you’ll meet Tim Washer. Tim’s career includes roles at Cisco, IBM, and SNL. He studied improv comedy under Amy Poehler. We delve into the power of building trust and making connections through comedy and laughter. Here are three key discussion points from our conversation that you won’t want to miss:

1️⃣ Making a Connection: Tim Washer shares his insights on starting a conversation and how building trust through a simple moment of humor can open doors and create meaningful relationships.

2️⃣ Finding Purpose: Discover how Tim overcame resistance and fear to find his true calling, leading him to a fulfilling career that combines comedy and communication.

3️⃣ The Power of Laughter: Laughter isn’t just about entertainment—it’s a powerful tool for building trust and creating positive connections.

Tim shares fascinating insights on the importance of making people smile within the first 60 seconds of a conversation, how laughter can help repair damaged trust in relationships, and how humor in business settings can be a differentiator. One of the examples Tim shares is his experience at IBM where he was invited to craft a story using humor and it was very successful. This fueled Tim’s confidence that comedy can be a superpower in making connections, even in a corporate relationship.

We also discuss his deeply personal story of overcoming challenges and discovering a new path in his life. From a difficult divorce to reconnecting with his faith, Tim opens up about the transformative experiences that have shaped his perspective and empowered him to make a positive impact on those around him, notably his daughter.

Tune in now to this episode to hear Tim Washer’s incredible journey and gain valuable insights into the power of humor, trust, and purpose. You can connect with Tim Washer through his YouTube channel.

Midlife Career Reboot Workbook | Bernie Borges | Midlife Fulfilled Podcast

Episode Transcript

Bernie Borges [00:00:00]:

Tim, welcome to the Midlife Fulfill podcast day, BF to AF episode.

Tim Washer [00:00:06]:

Thank you, Bernie. Thanks for having me.

Bernie Borges [00:00:08]:

It’s great to have you, Tim. Tim, before we get we get into your BF to AF story, I wanna ask you. We like to ask, what decade are you in?

Tim Washer [00:00:17]:

I’m in my fifties.

Bernie Borges [00:00:20]:

In your fifties. Alright.

Tim Washer [00:00:21]:

I’m in my fifties. I I I have knee my knees are in their eighties. And then I would say that, you know, from a maturity standpoint, I’m I’m really in my mid teens, early teens.

Bernie Borges [00:00:36]:

Alright. You’re giving us a little preview of, of where where this conversation’s gonna go, Tim. Well, I I do wanna give my listener a little bit of introduction to you. You and I know each other through circles professional circles that we’ve traveled in for several years, And those circles are marketing industry circles, and you’ve got a very unique background that I wanna share, with my my listeners. So you’ve spent 20 plus years at big companies like IBM, Cisco, An interpublic group. And you’ve also moonlighted at SNL, Conan O’Brien, And last week tonight with John Oliver, and you studied improv with Amy Poehler. Now this is probably your most impressive credential. You studied communications at the University of Texas at Austin’s Graduate School of business where you majored in PowerPoint.

Tim Washer [00:01:35]:

PowerPoint.

Bernie Borges [00:01:36]:

That’s right. That’s right.

Tim Washer [00:01:37]:

It was very valuable skill.

Bernie Borges [00:01:38]:

Yes. Yes. And, Tim, your digital content has been featured in places like The Wall Street Journal, New York Times, Fast Company. And these days, you are helping organizations Strengthen trust with customers and employees using humor and humility. Good. And you said you wanna talk about following your calling, Tim, following your calling. Where would you like to begin?

Tim Washer [00:02:05]:

Maybe I could just you know what? Let me can I share a little bit about my background and that Go for it? Yeah. Story? Yeah. Because I think I think for so many of us, we, you know, we we struggle with we, we all have a purpose in life, And that can be very daunting. And I think I think whenever we have when we discover as soon as we discover our purpose in life, we’re gonna be met with resistance. That’s that’s my it’s a universal truth. And I think that that resistance comes up in all kinds of things, like different distractions or I should do this or I should be doing this or and and it’s the biggest challenge I think so many of us fear, especially in in in this stage of life, Is not having the not having the awareness to know when we need to overcome that fear. And when something is well well, it might be it may Be a good thing to do. We need to recognize, hey.

Tim Washer [00:03:01]:

Is this really my purpose in this moment? And figuring out how do we identify that And how do we work around it? I I think that’s I think that’s a challenge. I know that’s a challenge I face right now, and I I think a lot of Lot of people I know my age are dealing with that too.

Bernie Borges [00:03:17]:

Mhmm. Mhmm. Yeah. So did you have a light bulb moment, Tim, where you discovered your calling, you know, I I shared your background where you had all these corporate roles. We didn’t really get into the specifics. Right. But then you were also doing all this quote, unquote moonlighting, you know, in the field of comedy, and you studied improv, which is Comedy. So what was that about?

Tim Washer [00:03:41]:

Yeah. So the there was a moment. I’ll I’ll I’ll never forget. You know? I was I I was reading I was part of a church in New York City, 5th Avenue Presbyterian Church. We had this devotional guide that was going through during the season of lent. And there was a there was a one day dedicated to spiritual gifts. And the devotional guide, there was some, oh, you know what? There was a there was a wonderful quote in there by a German, pastor theologian, Frederick Beitner. And he said the place god calls you to is a place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.

Tim Washer [00:04:18]:

And I remember reading that and thinking, I don’t know if I’m really in that space right now. And then it then it then the the devotional guide, pastor Tom Toole wrote this, and it said, like, you know, What are your spiritual gifts? What’s your spiritual gift? And I thought, well, comedy making people laugh. And then the second question was on a scale of 1 to 10, How good of a steward have you been of this gift? And I thought 0, Bernie. I I wasn’t even on the scale. And as soon as I As soon as that 0 came to mind, realizing I I had not pursued this at all, this word obligation Popped into my mind. It wasn’t an audible word. I just I just sits this word obligation. And that to me, that was the call.

Tim Washer [00:05:01]:

It was I realized I had to pursue comedy. It wasn’t a choice, but it was something I had to do. And at that point, I didn’t I I wasn’t sure if this would be, you know, a Career or if it’d be a side hustle or, you know, whatever. But I I didn’t didn’t know where to start, so I just started talking to I think that’s a great place to start just sharing people. Hey. I’m gonna start doing this. You know? You know? Whatever. I wanna, you know, train horses more.

Tim Washer [00:05:26]:

You know, I wanna teach guitar more or whatever. Just start sharing that with people. And then a friend of mine from college actually told me, she said, oh, you should go to the upright citizen brigade. I heard a buddy of mine had been there. You should go study improv there. It’s in Manhattan in, in, the Chelsea, district at the time. So I’d go there, and and this is a couple years before Amy Poehler got on SNL, but she’s my instructor for, like, 2 years. And got Matt Walsh also as as well.

Tim Washer [00:05:53]:

People would recognize, his face for sure on from Veep and a bunch of other films. But there were these this is before these people had achieved fame. Mhmm. But they were really good improvisers and instructors. And so I just learned a ton from there, and I had a blast, but I had no way of fig I I just didn’t know how to Find a way to pay the bills with that. And

Bernie Borges [00:06:18]:

That’s what I was wondering because you were in these corporate roles. Right? You know?

Tim Washer [00:06:22]:

Hi for wondering that.

Bernie Borges [00:06:24]:

Yeah. I mean, you know, in in corporate, you’ve got a job. You get a paycheck. You know? Until a layoff happens, there’s a sense of steady work. Right?

Tim Washer [00:06:32]:

Right.

Bernie Borges [00:06:34]:

So how did you reconcile that?

Tim Washer [00:06:36]:

Well, I didn’t. I I asked I was married at the time, and I asked my wife of I said, look. Let me take I was working on a screenplay, and and I I thought work was getting in my way and keeping me from writing the screenplay. It wasn’t that. It was fear. Because once I got I said, look. Let’s let’s prayerfully consider if it if I can take 6 months or a year off in pursuit comedy. And, you know, we had she was working full time at the time and, I was I had, we had money in savings and No kids yet.

Tim Washer [00:07:06]:

So I did that and and, and I had. It took a while, but I started getting success. I started writing for the late Joe, and I was doing stand up comedy. That was not my strength, but, you know, was starting to do some commercials, things like that. And then, my daughter was born, and so I was like, okay. I gotta go get a job with dental. And it ended up I thought it’s so funny. I thought, Bernie, I was, I was giving up on comedy, And I found a job at IBM, working as a speechwriter.

Tim Washer [00:07:42]:

I was a speechwriter there. And I I took that job partly because I thought, well, if I work for the communications and events team, maybe I’ll get to emcee every now and then or maybe it’ll have a sales event and they’ll want some comedy there. And, sure enough, that did happen. That did happen. The 2nd day I was there, the the head, head of, global sales for the mainframe business reaches out to me and says, hey, man. I hear you have a comedy background. Would you write a joke for me for this upcoming speech I have? And then, a few months later, I pitched this idea to do a comedy video for the internal sales team, and it worked and It worked really well and, and it just opened up the doors to a new career. I just people started saying, hey, come do these and I got promoted to corporate office, started doing external for, like, the Internet of Things campaign, and, yeah.

Bernie Borges [00:08:34]:

So are you finding then that businesses are are open to and embracing humor?

Tim Washer [00:08:41]:

Yeah. Now I think there’s always been, you know, there’s always been this resistance to I I think people people don’t really understand, You know, how to use humor. Very few people, I should say, understand how to use humor in the business world. But the thing is now, particularly post COVID, You know, once COVID hit, there was so much anxiety. You know? Everybody was worried about, am I gonna get COVID? Is my kid gonna get COVID? You know? Am I gonna be laid off? What’s gonna happen? What about the you know, just all these worries came in, and and they’re still there. And, you know, now we’re we’re dealing with a lot more tragedy globally. And so there’s always been there’s just a really heightened sense of anxiety, and I think that has there’s also been a threat to trust. You know, the people just are edgy and they’re they’re really resistant.

Tim Washer [00:09:32]:

They’re trust trusting our institutions, you know, you know, houses of worship. I mean, there’s been a lot of trust damaged over the past decade. Mhmm. So I think, one, people understand that workforce, people trying to get organizations trying to get people to come back in the office, and there’s a lot of tension around that. There you know, over COVID protocol a couple years ago, there was a lot of tension there and anxiety. And I think organizations are realizing laughter is a really good thing right Now, not just for employees, but also for the customers. Customers, a good buddy of mine’s a he’s a lobbyist, and he was telling me a couple years ago after COVID started. He said he’d never had such a difficult time getting somebody on the phone, you know, just for a 5 minute pitch.

Tim Washer [00:10:21]:

He said it was nearly impossible. And now people just they don’t wanna hear the pitch because one, they don’t believe you, you know, they do because again they they feel like the government hasn’t been honest with them in so many different institutions haven’t been honest. So I think, he was telling me one thing he does is is try to get a smile Out of the the person when he right when he gets on within the first 60 seconds. And I think that’s a wonderful way to to start a connection with someone and to build trust. Like, one thing I do, you know, when a p for some reason, people have a difficult Time, like and it’s I probably don’t enunciate well. But my my my last name, when I when I call up to make an appointment with the doctor, You know, what’s your last name? And I’ll say Washer. And when I was a kid, I used to say well, my last name’s Washer as in Maytag, And that that made it clear how to spell it. You know? There’s not a c n a you know? But it also got a chuckle.

Tim Washer [00:11:21]:

Usually, people get a shout. And today, it’s funny. I didn’t think people would really recognize that anymore, but it still works. And I think and and and I can tell the I can hear the relationship change

Bernie Borges [00:11:32]:

Mhmm. With a

Tim Washer [00:11:33]:

stranger as soon as I say it’s washers and me type. Because because I I think what it conveys, 1, it’s like, okay. Like, I’ll get a laugh out of them. People like that. But 2, And and also laughter in the mind, you know, in the brain, in the chemistry, brain chemistry, it releases, oxytocin, which is like this bonding Chemical that helps us, you know, bond with each other. And there are a lot of good reasons for that too because we feel like we can trust the other person. When I say, You know, that little gag as in Maytag, I think people realize immediately, okay, this guy doesn’t take himself too seriously. You know, he’s not too proud of his name or Anything like that is willing to be silly.

Tim Washer [00:12:11]:

And I think people really, are warm to that now. You know? I I think it conveys that, hey. I’m here. I don’t take myself seriously, I’m not gonna put on any airs. You know? And also, I’d like to try to spend at least a little bit of energy here, hopefully, making you laugh. I think all that’s conveyed In just a couple of syllables. Mhmm. And so that’s what I there are ways that that Salesforces can learn to do that, that Corporations can do it HR.

Tim Washer [00:12:38]:

All those things, there are ways they can learn to do it in an appropriate manner and but really, really Bring back connection, a sense of connection. It’s so powerful, and it’s so needed.

Bernie Borges [00:12:49]:

So I’m curious, Tim. Earlier in the conversation, you said that you Caught yourself a 0 in terms of using the spiritual gift.

Tim Washer [00:12:56]:

Yeah.

Bernie Borges [00:12:56]:

How do you score yourself now?

Tim Washer [00:12:58]:

No, man. That’s that’s, I have not thought about that. That’s tough. Debt.

Bernie Borges [00:13:06]:

I told you, coming on this podcast is is a challenge. It’s Not easy.

Tim Washer [00:13:10]:

Hang on. Let me let me check with my attorney and see if I can answer that question. So, yeah, he Said he said somewhere my attorney says somewhere between 110 is what he says. Okay. That’s a little

Bernie Borges [00:13:23]:

That narrows it down.

Tim Washer [00:13:25]:

I’d say you know what? I would say I’d say a 7 or a 8.

Bernie Borges [00:13:29]:

Okay.

Tim Washer [00:13:30]:

So I’m pursuing it, but I still

Bernie Borges [00:13:32]:

Well, I I I I will say to you, though, anecdotally, for the years that I have known you and seen you out there in our mutual Professional circles. Yep. You have been doing the humor thing from the stage. That’s what I that’s how I know you. Yeah. Very recently, I saw you speak at Content Marketing World, and you crushed it. And, you know, even years past, I can go back 5, 7 years ish, give or take, where I’ve seen you on stage, you know, just speaking to a business audience but using humor. Not speaking to teach, But speaking for the the purpose of providing humor in a relevant way.

Bernie Borges [00:14:13]:

So this is not something you just started, You know, last week.

Tim Washer [00:14:17]:

That that’s right. And I’ve I’ve learned so much. I’ve really learned. I’ve I’ve I’ve really learned the craft And practice the craft. And it’s it just has become something that’s very easy for me to do. I think where I still struggle is just with, You know, we were talking about this in the green room is is stepping out and and pitching myself and saying, look. I I have something of value to say. Now, Bernie, over the last couple of years, I I’ve convinced myself that I do have something of value to say.

Tim Washer [00:14:50]:

And when I go in and it’s not necessarily about comedy, but it’s about relationships. It’s about, it’s about healing. It’s about mental health. It’s about, you know, dealing with depression. Now I don’t go in there in a corporate audience and just kinda go into that, but usually it’s in some marketing format. But part of that will come out when I talk about what’s needed to build trust. How do you how do you care and steward a relationship? You know, whether whether it’s Regardless of what type of relationship it is, you know, beyond business as well. I mean, the the the tenants of building trust are the same.

Tim Washer [00:15:22]:

You know, whether you’re in a romantic relationship or I mean, there’s some different things you’ll do there that you shouldn’t apply in the business. Let me be clear about that. My attorney’s telling me, yeah, we’re gonna have to edit that.

Bernie Borges [00:15:31]:

Thank thank you for that. Yeah. Let let

Tim Washer [00:15:34]:

let me, here. Let me I have some puppets. I’m gonna do a little demonstration. Yeah. I I mean, I I I would say a 7 or a 8. Back to your question.

Bernie Borges [00:15:42]:

I would

Tim Washer [00:15:43]:

say a 7 or 8. And I think I think what’s holding me up there is is still getting comfortable with With pitching myself. Now I’m doing one thing that’s gonna help. November 1st, I’m doing a TEDx talk. And I think That’s wonderful. That will give me a nice video that I’ll feel very comfortable sharing, you know, sending to people and say, look. I Did the story.

Bernie Borges [00:16:03]:

Thank you so much. This publishes, you will have delivered that TEDx Talk. So how did it go?

Tim Washer [00:16:08]:

It went great. Oh, it’s not good. Also, I would bet on Precious Printer in 7th. Okay.

Bernie Borges [00:16:23]:

Okay. So you you you’re you’d score yourself a 7 or 8. That’s great. So I’m gonna ask the same question, but a little bit differently, Tim, and that is since this episode is a BF to AF episode, so the BF stands for 4 fulfillment in the AF stands for f for fulfillment. What is your sense of fulfillment now? You know? Not asking for a score. You’ve already given me that. Yeah. But, like, You know, put put that into words.

Bernie Borges [00:16:48]:

What what is your sense of fulfillment now versus in years past when you didn’t really acknowledge this calling of yours?

Tim Washer [00:16:56]:

Yeah. I I am I’m fulfilled. I’m I’m to I’m at peace, and I’ll tell you what that’s about. And it’s not really necessarily it’s not about a career, But in in my life, I’m I’m fulfilled. And and the funny thing is, you know, since COVID with so many conferences and went up being shut Now it’s starting to pick up now, but, I mean, my income has looked very different than it did before COVID. I mean, it’s it’s been, you know, the the the, Look. There’s not money growing on trees around here. But the thing is I have I have a very different relationship with money.

Tim Washer [00:17:31]:

I went through a Pretty tough divorce about 8 years ago. And it it’s one of these things where I still get an invitation to go back to court, And and it’s it’s such a, it’s torture for me. It really is to go through and do all this. But

Bernie Borges [00:17:47]:

The thing

Tim Washer [00:17:47]:

is 4 years ago, it, I mean, it it crushed me. I couldn’t I couldn’t move. I mean, like, I it would there’d be days when I just couldn’t get off the couch. And so my faith has been I I walked away I totally walked away from my faith after the divorce And, just quit going to church. I couldn’t even get myself to pray. And on April on April 15, 2019, I got up Sunday to go to the gym, And I just felt clearly I was supposed to go to this church, Walnut Hill, which I I’d been to once or twice and never was interested. But I go there and this new guy’s preaching. He’s a younger guy and, Brian Mowery, and he’s hysterical.

Tim Washer [00:18:28]:

And, you know, he’s a stand up comedian, basically. And I just I I just felt at home there. I felt like all the shame started to fall away. And I think as people look. All all 7a half Billion of us. We’re all broken. Every one of us is broken. We all carry shame.

Tim Washer [00:18:45]:

We all carry regret, And and it serves us. You know? It it does no good for us. It only creates resistance in our relationships. And what I’ve done is I’ve set career aside just to be with my 2 kids. They’re now 2016. And I knew, you know, going through the transition of move you know, they’re with me halftime, and that that became number 1. And investing in them and making sure they knew they were safe and also rebuilding relationships with them From a time when I was in a household and it and there was a lot more tension. And I really but we laugh so much.

Tim Washer [00:19:24]:

My my kids just they both all bust me up all the time. They’re so funny. They’re so funny. And and From that standpoint, you know, from a face standpoint, I’m I’m totally fulfilled. I mean, there are other things I still Would like in my life. I I I hope to get remarried again someday. And, yes, I I wanna have a successful career again someday. It’s not there yet, but I know that’s coming.

Tim Washer [00:19:48]:

I know that’s coming. So, I started running, which has been incredibly healing for me. I’m running my 1st marathon November 5th in in New York New York marathon, New

Bernie Borges [00:19:58]:

York City. Wow. Wow.

Tim Washer [00:20:00]:

So, you know, the I I’m finding these other places in life that bring me joy And it allowed me to to share laughter with people. And it’s, it’s just it’s so funny that how little money has to do with it because they’re they’re right. You it’s just I don’t know. I just realized I just have thank goodness I have this awareness now of how little money has to do with happiness.

Bernie Borges [00:20:23]:

Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, it’s I don’t wanna say funny. It’s interesting, Tim, how we come to these realizations, you know, at a certain stage in our life, usually not in our Younger

Tim Washer [00:20:35]:

years.

Bernie Borges [00:20:35]:

Right. And usually after we’ve been through something difficult like you’ve shared here, and you, you know, you come to that realization, I’m very happy for you that you are at this point, where you are fulfilled. I’ve seen you speak of your relationship with your daughters and the things that you do with them and And and all that. And, again, I’ve seen you you know, most of my exposure to you has been a lot of it has been you from the stage. We’ve had a couple little chit chats here and there. You know? But, but most of it has been, you know, from the stage, and I’ve always admired your approach. And the fact that you’re able to Find a way to actually use that, as you call it, spiritual gift, and I love the way you frame that up, and use it in a way to, you know, earn a living. I know you say it’s not where you want it to be, but that’s coming.

Bernie Borges [00:21:23]:

But along the way, you’re also having an impact on people. You know? And, I think you know that. I hope you know that.

Tim Washer [00:21:31]:

Yeah. I see that. Yeah. Thank you. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. A part of that and and and what you brought up there is, like, One of the things you you may have heard me share about is just where where I’ve made a terrible misstep with raising my daughter.

Tim Washer [00:21:44]:

Just thinking that she needed when she was in 4th grade, When she was having some anxiety problems, it was acting out a lot and just she needed some boundaries, and I tried to, You know, put more boundaries in in a very gentle way, and, that didn’t work. She hated me for that. And she and, She would get mad and have outbursts, and sometimes she would just hit me. And she’s at she’s giving me permission to share this because she knows it’ll help other people. And, and and, Bernie, I talked to a therapist about this. This this young woman who was a therapist, she was probably 30. So wise, though. She told me she said, look.

Tim Washer [00:22:20]:

Your daughter, when she’s getting upset with you and yelling at you, she’s trying to connect. As you said, boundaries are important, but just first try to connect with her. And so I changed everything and I and I said, listen. From now on, I’m just gonna make her laugh. That’s all that’s gonna that’s the only thing I care about. When she gets upset, I’m just gonna put my energy into trying to make her laugh. And Now it I mean, it took it took weeks, but she finally, you know, broke down and started laughing, and it totally changed our relationship.

Bernie Borges [00:22:50]:

Really?

Tim Washer [00:22:51]:

Yeah. And now we have I I take her to improv shows and we’ve we’ve written comedies together and Wow. Comedies and all kinds of things. Wow. And, Bernie, the thing is we would there there’s a principle in improv there aren’t it says there are no mistakes, only gifts. And I did make a mistake in raising her. I was afraid I was raising her as, you know, a a daughter with daddy issues, and I was afraid she was pushing away all of her friends, And I just had this disaster scenario in my mind, but I I addressed it wrong. It was coming from love, but it I was doing it wrong.

Tim Washer [00:23:23]:

And had I not made that mistake and shifted, you know, if I not got advice from somebody who’s a wonderful therapist and shifted and just said I’m gonna make her laugh, Katie and I wouldn’t have this relationship that we have today.

Bernie Borges [00:23:36]:

I mean,

Tim Washer [00:23:37]:

she’ll come and talk to me. And for years, she’s been coming and talking to me and asking me about guys and, Look. I’m thinking about dating this guy, and, you know, we have these discussions. And I don’t think we would’ve I don’t think that would’ve existed if I hadn’t If I hadn’t changed things that I might because and if I hadn’t made the mistake. And, you know, I’ll share you you mentioned having impact. I’ll share those stories, and sometimes I’ll see men my age, you know, tearing up in the audience and come and talking to me afterwards. And one time, this young woman, she was probably 30, she comes up to me and she’s crying, and she gives me this hug, and she says, oh my gosh. Now I understand how much my dad loved me Because before when he was being strict, I thought he didn’t love me.

Tim Washer [00:24:21]:

I thought he hated me. But now I understand. You know, he was doing the same thing I was, just trying to be protective And take care of the child, but really just you totally came across the wrong way. So I know, Yeah. That’s that’s a blessing to feel like you can bring some healing to someone, you know, even just in a little amount. And, You know, heck, yeah. That’s a that’s a wonderful place to be.

Bernie Borges [00:24:46]:

Yeah. Yeah. So clearly, you you’ve experienced some feedback where you are having an impact on people. I have to share with you, Tim, that I I’m not gifted with humor. I, I’ve made the attempt many times. Okay. And and there’s 1 attempt that I’m gonna Share with you maybe you could tell me where I went wrong. Okay.

Bernie Borges [00:25:05]:

Because I did this for a long time when my kids were Kids, meaning, you know, young, you know, 5, 6, 7, 8, 10, 12 years old. Right? Kids in the house, whereas their adults now out of the house. Anytime they would hurt themselves, I don’t mean a serious injury, but, you know, they hurt themselves, and in the moment, they’re crying. I would say to them, Tim, I would say the following. I would say, that’s gonna feel a whole lot better when it stops hurting, And they didn’t think it was funny. In fact, they would get upset with me. Where did I go wrong?

Tim Washer [00:25:40]:

So I think listen. My guess would be my guess would be that 1 first of all, that’s funny. But, you know you know, there there’s the old, Formula of, of, pain plus time equals or tragedy plus time equals comedy. So you didn’t allow for the time there. That’s

Bernie Borges [00:26:00]:

where I went wrong.

Tim Washer [00:26:02]:

Yeah. A little bit more time. But now, of course, for someone like me who’s not Dealing with the pain, you know, I I see that right away. It’s funny. It’s very funny.

Bernie Borges [00:26:11]:

Right.

Tim Washer [00:26:12]:

Right. And if they weren’t hurt So badly, you know, if they were old enough to know, okay, this is just a scrape or whatever. And and but sometimes when you’re young, you don’t understand that That this is no big deal.

Bernie Borges [00:26:22]:

Right.

Tim Washer [00:26:23]:

I think if you tried it on them now, they would get it, and you wouldn’t have to wait for you know, you wouldn’t have to give them time.

Bernie Borges [00:26:29]:

Well, the cool thing is that they’re both parents now, both my daughter and my son.

Tim Washer [00:26:33]:

Don’t. So do they

Bernie Borges [00:26:34]:

don’t use that. So So, I’ve already asked them if they’re gonna use that, and they said unequivocally no.

Tim Washer [00:26:40]:

No. No. Well, the other thing is, you know, they may have been looking to their father for some sympathy in that moment. You know? And then and and, and that comment while you were trying to bring I assume you were trying to bring some laughter

Bernie Borges [00:26:54]:

Yep. Yeah.

Tim Washer [00:26:55]:

To, you know, reduce the trauma, which is a powerful way to reduce trauma if you can bring them laughter like that.

Bernie Borges [00:27:01]:

Yeah.

Tim Washer [00:27:02]:

But but that maybe in that moment, they needed, you know, they just needed comforting and physical comforting, and that that could have been it too.

Bernie Borges [00:27:09]:

And and trust me, you know, I’m having a little fun with you here. Trust me.

Tim Washer [00:27:12]:

No. I understand.

Bernie Borges [00:27:12]:

I never I never said that to them in some kind of a moment of Serious injury. Of course. You know, it was just all just you know, they bang their knee or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Something. Oh, yeah.

Bernie Borges [00:27:23]:

You know?

Tim Washer [00:27:23]:

I I I I of course.

Bernie Borges [00:27:25]:

Of course. Yeah. Tim, as we come to a wrap here, any closing thought that you just wanna leave us with before we ask you where people can can connect with you?

Tim Washer [00:27:35]:

Yeah. I I think in particular regardless of what age you are. Like, I I’m 56. I just started running a few years ago, And, man, I I tell you, it’s so important to get out and move, to to to break away from creative blocks and and things like that. Just getting out and walk. And if If you’re not doing I would I’d I’d strongly recommend for everyone just to try to get out and start walking regularly. And, you know, if if it goes in there, runs into jogging or something like that, even better. But, walking is a wonderful thing.

Tim Washer [00:28:07]:

Get outdoors. It’s so important to get outdoors, and get outdoors with your family. We really need community, and I really encourage everyone. Bernie, I’m talking about to if if you’re gonna try to say I wanna make a career transition, You know, or I wanna do I wanna follow a calling that I haven’t followed before. I think it’s so critical to to to do these things, know, to go out and walk and build a community of friends and stay connected with folks because you’ll need that you’ll need that love, that feeling of love to go take these risk. And I and, man, it’s so rewarding. It’s so rewarding. And I gotta tell you, over the last 4 years, I there are times when I’m not sure How the money is gonna or where the money is gonna come from, but it’s always worked out.

Bernie Borges [00:28:47]:

Mhmm.

Tim Washer [00:28:48]:

It’s always worked out. And, You know, anyway, I’m grateful for that blessing, but I just I I I hope other people would say, you know what? Let me if I’m working at a job that I hate, let me find something different and and and go do that. Yeah.

Bernie Borges [00:29:02]:

Yeah. Yeah. I agree. Well, thank you for sharing that. And, of course, I’ll invite you to share where can people Connect with you and just learn more about what you’ve got going on, Tim.

Tim Washer [00:29:12]:

Yeah. So, probably Instagram is a good place. It’s Tim Washer like Maytag, And, that’s that’s my handle on Instagram and, and YouTube as well. Yeah. Yeah. I’m on YouTube. It’s starting to creates starting to cover a little bit more of this type of conversation, Bernie, because I think This is more of the conversation. I think these these conversations, it’s what it’s it’s what we need right now.

Bernie Borges [00:29:37]:

Yeah. We’ve got a great message. You tell it well, And I I thank you for coming on the Midlife Fulfilled podcast and sharing it with, the Midlife Fulfilled listening audience.

Tim Washer [00:29:48]:

Sure thing, man. I really appreciate the invite. Thanks,

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