Bernie Borges [00:00:00]:
Laurieann Morabito, welcome to the Midlife Fulfill podcast, a maximum episode.
Laurieann Morabito [00:00:07]:
Oh, I’m so excited to be here, Bernie. Thanks for the invite.
Bernie Borges [00:00:11]:
Oh, thanks for accepting my invite, Laurieann. Laurieann, I invited you here to speak on a topic that I have not covered on the midlife fulfilled podcast before, so you are the first. And I’m excited about this topic. The topic that I thoroughly enjoy, we’ll get into that a little bit, and I’m also inviting you to drill into this topic with me specifically, and the topic is, of course, speaking. You are a coach. You coach individuals, coaches, entrepreneurs about speaking. You help them become masterful speakers and and earn a living from it. Everything from TED Talks to 60 minute keynotes and everything in between.
Bernie Borges [00:01:02]:
You do coaching. You do programs. You’ve written books on it, and you are the host of what has become one of my favorite podcasts, the Be in Demand podcast. I told you before we started recording, Laurie Ann, that I had been binge listening to your podcast because I’m thoroughly, thoroughly enjoying it. So welcome to the podcast.
Laurieann Morabito [00:01:24]:
Well, thank you very much. Do you have a favorite episode?
Bernie Borges [00:01:29]:
Boy, I’d have to look it up because you know what I did? I went back to, I think it was, like, episode 200
Laurieann Morabito [00:01:37]:
Mhmm.
Bernie Borges [00:01:37]:
And I started from there. So I’ve listened to more than 20 episodes because I know at the time that we’re recording this, I think you recorded or published, rather, episode 238.
Laurieann Morabito [00:01:48]:
Very
Bernie Borges [00:01:49]:
good. Yeah. I went back to 200, and I listened to about 20 or so there. It’s just you are providing a master class on speaking just through your podcast, and, of course, you do this for a living. You help individuals do this. So what I’ve asked you to do, and you have accepted my request, is to unpack a program that you teach. And if I’m not mistaken, you call it the 7 blocks, or maybe it’s not what you call it, but the program is comprised of 7 blocks to an in demand signature speech.
Laurieann Morabito [00:02:23]:
Yes.
Bernie Borges [00:02:23]:
It’s it’s a program that’s out there, and it sounds fantastic. And you’ve agreed to really unpack those 7 blocks, so you wanna get started?
Laurieann Morabito [00:02:33]:
Yes. Let’s do it.
Bernie Borges [00:02:35]:
Alright. And I invite you to to, again, challenge me along the way on these 7 blocks, and I’ve agreed to be vulnerable, meaning I’m not gonna BS you or anybody. I’m gonna answer your questions or whatever challenge you give me authentically. Alright. Here we go. Okay.
Laurieann Morabito [00:02:51]:
Let’s get started.
Bernie Borges [00:02:53]:
So the first one is speaker confidence. What’s that about?
Laurieann Morabito [00:02:57]:
Do you have the confidence to get up there in front of a group of people? Because if you’re not confident, your audience can feel it. You know, and that confidence can be felt, or heard with your pauses, with your ums, your tone of voice, even your body language, whether you’re speaking virtually or you’re in person. So do you have, like, what do you mentally think about Bernie just before you’re about to start speaking?
Bernie Borges [00:03:29]:
Well, in my case, something that I learned many years ago so a little bit of context here. I used to be very active as a speaker for the 1st several decades of my career. I’d say about the last 5 years, I haven’t been as active. There’s one conference that I speak at once a year, but mostly in the, like, let’s say, 2000 or even the nineties, the nineties through, 2017 ish
Laurieann Morabito [00:03:55]:
Mhmm.
Bernie Borges [00:03:56]:
Was pretty active. And I what I learned, Lorraine, is that I need to stand up before I’m introduced. I I never wanna be sitting down. I just kind of figured out that if I’m sitting down, there’s this thing where, like, I’m in the audience, and then I have to transition to becoming the speaker. So once I learned that, I would never sit down. Before an event, I’m just standing the whole time. And even if everyone’s sitting, I’m gonna be standing somewhere until I’m introduced, and that allows me to just get up there confidently.
Laurieann Morabito [00:04:26]:
I I like that. So that’s part of your pre speaking routine, which is something that I share with people that adds to your confidence and builds your confidence. I do have a couple of clients who I do encourage them to sit in the audience, And they’ll sit in the audience. Like, one woman that I’m thinking of in particular, she speaks about coming from an abusive relationship. So she actually has the microphone. She’s already worked this out with meeting planners. It’s the way that she starts her meetings. And so she starts speaking in the audience
Bernie Borges [00:05:01]:
Okay.
Laurieann Morabito [00:05:01]:
Because 1 in 3 women are are are abused physically or mentally. So she’s saying, like, 1 in 3 women. That means somebody to your right or your left is being abused. Like, I’m I’m the woman standing behind you at the grocery store. And so she has this beautiful intro, and then she stands up and then pee like, people are looking around like, where is this voice coming from?
Bernie Borges [00:05:27]:
Right.
Laurieann Morabito [00:05:28]:
So that’s that’s sort of a your opening is also designed. I’m sort of moving from the speaker competence into the opening now. Your opening is designed to get people to put their phones down and lean in and pay attention. In her case, people are looking around like, where’s that voice coming from? But it really lands, like, the point that she’s trying to make about you just don’t know because it’s so well hidden. So, Bernie, how do you start your speech?
Bernie Borges [00:06:01]:
Well, as I said, Lorraine, I I haven’t been speaking a lot in recent years. Again, I was active for a while. And when I was active, I was speaking mostly on marketing related topics because, vocationally, I’ve been in in in marketing for decades. So I’m gonna answer your question a little bit differently. I have a plan, so when I begin speaking more actively on the topics related to the Midlife Fulfill podcast, I have a plan to experiment. Operative word here, Lorraine, is experiment with the following opening, and that is I have a question for you, and I don’t want you to answer this question to anybody else but yourself. In your head, not out loud, in your head, how fulfilled are you? Give it a number, a percentage, and make it an even number. Is it 10%, 50%, 80%, 90%, a 100%.
Bernie Borges [00:06:54]:
What’s that number? And then I’m gonna pause.
Laurieann Morabito [00:06:57]:
Okay. So I would rate that that’s like a b plus. I love the question. The question is very powerful, but you don’t actually have to explain to the audience. You don’t have to say it out loud because most people are going to, like, especially with a a new audience, like, you have to invite them to actually participate. So the human brain just is going to naturally answer the question, but asking a question is a beautiful way to open your keynote speech, open your signature speech. A couple of other ways that you could start a speech is with a startling statistic or quote. If you use a quote, here’s the thing.
Laurieann Morabito [00:07:36]:
You have to make sure that you also speak about it and tell the audience what that means. So, for example, one of the quotes that I use is Warren Buffett said that if you learn public speaking skills, you’ll increase your value by 50%. If I left it there, everybody looks at Warren Buffett. He’s he’s the expert in the room. So what I do is I tell people what I believe is that if you learn public speaking skills, you will increase your bottom line by 87%.
Bernie Borges [00:08:09]:
Okay. I like it.
Laurieann Morabito [00:08:11]:
It’s just enough. It’s a I’ve done some numbers. I’ve done some stats throughout people’s careers or businesses. But what I’m doing is I’m taking, like, a statistic and people like, oh, wow. 50%. But then they hear my point of view, and it’s 87%.
Bernie Borges [00:08:28]:
Okay.
Laurieann Morabito [00:08:29]:
Again, all we’re trying to do with that opening is to get people’s attention.
Bernie Borges [00:08:34]:
Right.
Laurieann Morabito [00:08:34]:
Because if you lose their attention
Bernie Borges [00:08:36]:
oh, good lord. You wanna hook them?
Laurieann Morabito [00:08:38]:
Yes. We wanna hook them.
Bernie Borges [00:08:40]:
Yeah. Okay. And then your 3rd block is establishing your authority, and I would I would imagine that after you use your 87% stat that you’re gonna back that up with your authority.
Laurieann Morabito [00:08:52]:
Yeah. Well, I’m let let me explain to the audience why I I’m talking about these things in blocks. The reason why we build I encourage my students to build everything in blocks is because has a meeting planner ever come up to you, Bernie, and said, the guy before you, the woman before you, the speaker before you went over by 20 minutes. Can you cut your speech by 20 minutes? And now most of the people are just like, yep. That’s happened to me before. If it hasn’t happened to you yet, you know, it probably will at some point. But being able to take out a block, it’s like no problem. You as a speaker, your job is to make the meeting planner look like a rock star.
Bernie Borges [00:09:36]:
Mhmm.
Laurieann Morabito [00:09:36]:
And the easier you are to work with. So I just teach people, like, you just take out a block, and it’s usually gonna be, like, maybe one of your teaching blocks. You just take out one of those points, and there you go. You just cut out maybe 20 per 15, 20 minutes. So this so the your first block is your opening. The the speaker confidence, that’s how you you have to do that before we even get on stage. So your speech has that first block is that attention grabbing opening. And your second block is your authority section.
Laurieann Morabito [00:10:10]:
So the reason for the authority section is because your audience, you’ve got them to lean in and listen to you and put their phones down. But this is what happens next. Your audience actually leans back. They fold their arms, and they say, yeah. But why should I listen to you? Mhmm. That’s your authority section. You want to explain to them why you are in a position, why you’re an expert on what you’re about to speak on, and why they should continue to listen to you throughout the speech. Okay.
Laurieann Morabito [00:10:42]:
Makes sense.
Bernie Borges [00:10:43]:
Absolutely. Absolutely. And and I agree with you a 100% that the audience is thinking that why should I listen to you? So Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah.
Laurieann Morabito [00:10:51]:
And it doesn’t have to be your resume. We don’t want you to read your resume. We just want you to give a little bits and pieces of what gives you the right to be sharing this information. And, basically, you’re telling the audience, this is why you should listen to me.
Bernie Borges [00:11:07]:
So maybe provide some guidance on how to do that because in most cases, someone well, it depends on the venue. But in a lot of cases, you’re introduced, and they’re reading a bio. And, of course, we all write our bios to sound fantastic.
Laurieann Morabito [00:11:23]:
Yes.
Bernie Borges [00:11:24]:
So so how do you do that above and beyond a bio has already been either read by the person introducing you or it’s, you know, in the program guide in front of them.
Laurieann Morabito [00:11:36]:
Yes. So you do your intro, and then you wanna have some sort of a transitional phrase. So my transitional phrase to go from my opening into my authority section is, in case we’ve never met
Bernie Borges [00:11:49]:
Mhmm.
Laurieann Morabito [00:11:50]:
My name is Laurieann, and my nickname is LA. So please feel free to call me LA. I’m a reformed, painfully shy girl who couldn’t even make eye contact, And I accidentally became a professional speaker. And then I would go into, like, I’ve written a couple of books. I’ve spoken for, like, some of my clients are fortune 501,000 companies. And I tell a little bit of the story of how I became how I stepped off the stage from from leadership, and now I help coaches, consultants, and service providers use speaking as their best form of marketing. And then I just have, like, another transition. It’s like, well, let’s get on to the 3 tips that I’m gonna share with you.
Laurieann Morabito [00:12:29]:
Let’s get on to the program. I’m excited to share.
Bernie Borges [00:12:33]:
So Okay. So you just integrate it into your overall presentation. Even if you’re asked to cut cut something to make your presentation shorter, that’s not the one you wanna cut.
Laurieann Morabito [00:12:44]:
You don’t wanna cut that, but maybe you might pull out like, mentally, you’ll pull out, like, alright. I’m not gonna use that line or that phrase. You know? You you you start to trust yourself
Bernie Borges [00:12:56]:
Yeah.
Laurieann Morabito [00:12:56]:
So that you can do a really good job up there.
Bernie Borges [00:12:59]:
Yeah.
Laurieann Morabito [00:12:59]:
And, again, nobody’s gonna know what you didn’t say.
Bernie Borges [00:13:03]:
Right. Exactly. Exactly. You just gave me an idea, Lorie. And so maybe I should experiment with, like, I you know, I I accidentally became a midlife. Has that happened to you?
Laurieann Morabito [00:13:14]:
That’s good. Humor is great. In the speaking world, we say the more they laugh, the more money you make.
Bernie Borges [00:13:20]:
Oh, really? Okay. Yes.
Laurieann Morabito [00:13:22]:
Alright. Because, like, tumor tumor actually breaks down the barrier that the audience has, and it actually encourages learning.
Bernie Borges [00:13:32]:
Yep. Okay. Got it. Another one of your blocks in your 7 blocks is teaching, sharing, and showing value.
Laurieann Morabito [00:13:41]:
This is this is the good part. This is the teaching part. This is where you’re actually adding value. So I kinda consider, like, your in demand signature speeches like a sandwich. You know, we have the bread. We have the bread. It’s the meat that’s in the middle, and that’s what this value section is. This is what people came to hear.
Laurieann Morabito [00:13:59]:
They want to walk away with something. So think of your value section as you can teach 3 points. In a and when I say 3 points, I’m thinking in a typical 45 to 55 minute speech. You have 3 points that you can teach the audience. And in those three points, I’m basically gonna make you a lawyer. So I hope you like the law because, you know, court lawyers have to defend their position. So each of your points, you’re gonna have 3 different points that are gonna support that point. Does that make sense? 3 point 3 pieces of data so that those pieces of data can be a story, a statistic, a study, you explaining, but there’s 3 different pieces of information that support that point.
Laurieann Morabito [00:14:55]:
So you gotta, like, put your lawyer hat on, and you just have to defend and stick up for your point. Does that make sense?
Bernie Borges [00:15:04]:
Sure. So that’s just something that I’ve always done in every presentation I’ve ever given going all the way back to my twenties, and that’s just show up prepared. So I know what I want to teach, and I’m going to show up prepared with the facts, the figures, the information, even the storytelling along the way to support all of that. So am I oversimplifying it?
Laurieann Morabito [00:15:27]:
No. You’re not. And the reason why I teach this is, like, it’s just 3 in a typical keynote speech so that you don’t over teach. Because a lot of times, people want to pack as much information into this talk as possible. And what you end up doing is you end up confusing the audience, overwhelming the audience, and then they don’t do anything. And, really, all that’s happening, because this is a problem that a lot of new speakers run into, they’re trying to over teach and over deliver, is that you’re just worried about, like, your value. You’re thinking that someone’s gonna think that if I don’t put tons of information in here that I don’t know what I’m talking about. So there’s a lot of self doubt that comes in.
Laurieann Morabito [00:16:15]:
So the simpler it is, you know, the more value the audience is gonna get out of it. So it’s 3 points. You can you can teach 3 points and 3 supporting data. So let’s take one of yours.
Bernie Borges [00:16:30]:
You read my mind. I’m challenged by this because the my brand new reports, thriving in midlife, depending on when someone’s listening to this, may just be publishing or may have already published, but it’s publishing, here in September 2024.
Laurieann Morabito [00:16:47]:
Mhmm.
Bernie Borges [00:16:47]:
There’s over 30 data points in there, Lori Anne. So I’m gonna give you one. I’m gonna give you one because, again, in the interest of time, and there’s over 30 day data points, I have to figure out which 3 I’m really gonna focus on. But the one that I’m seeing here
Laurieann Morabito [00:17:00]:
the thing. That’s a that’s a data point, so that can support a point.
Bernie Borges [00:17:05]:
Okay.
Laurieann Morabito [00:17:06]:
So what is one point that you would wanna share in a midlife keynote? What do you want the audience to learn?
Bernie Borges [00:17:16]:
That fulfillment is soul level deep, and it is immutable. And the data point that backs that up is in my thriving in midlife report, 80% of the people chose fulfillment over happiness when asked if, hypothetically, they could only be either fulfilled or happy. 80% chose fulfillment, and 20% chose happiness.
Laurieann Morabito [00:17:47]:
I would choose the fulfillment also. So I think that data point, you know, lets the audience know, like, if you if you chose fulfillment, like, you’re you’re in the majority. Most that that’s what so it almost confirms to the audience, like, that’s what everybody else is picking. So how do we get there? So that that’s actually a great lead into, like, so how do you get fulfilled?
Bernie Borges [00:18:13]:
Mhmm. Or
Laurieann Morabito [00:18:14]:
what’s the difference between fulfillment and and happiness?
Bernie Borges [00:18:18]:
Depending on whether or not I had 20 minutes taken out of my presentation, I would definitely go there because that is absolutely to your point, Laurie, and that’s exactly what people are thinking. Well, what is the difference? How do I know which one I’m gonna choose? The short answer is fulfillment is more of an achievement. And, again, it’s it’s soul level deep. Happiness is an emotion, and it can come and go by the minute, by the day, by the hour. Mhmm. So so yeah. Okay. Then from there, I would get into the 5 pillars, but I don’t wanna I don’t wanna digress too much because I don’t I don’t wanna take time away from your teaching here on on these these blocks.
Bernie Borges [00:18:53]:
Right? So we’ve been through the first four blocks, confidence, attention grabbing opening, establishing your authority, teaching and showing value. This next one here has always been a challenge for me, and that’s seeds to selling. And if I may say why it’s a challenge for me because I always want the audience to feel like I did exactly in block number 4, shared, taught, showed value. I don’t want the audience to ever feel like I was selling.
Laurieann Morabito [00:19:24]:
So most of the time when I’m, like, teaching in somebody’s high end mastermind or their membership where I’m teaching about, you know, like, how do you add this, like, sprinkle little seed selling? They’re very conversational. And I will highlight the fact that this is another part of the speech because you want I always want my clients and my students to step off the stage to more bookings. I want people to come up to you and, like, hand you their business card and say, I need to work with you. I have a group that I wanted you to come in and speak to, like that spin off business. But the only way that that spin off business happens is if you sprinkle those little seeds in there. Seeds like in my keynote on leadership, I talk about how emotional intelligence is, and then you go into it. Or, you know, in my group program, in demand signature speech, my clients learn how to structure their talk in a way that they get that spin off business. We start with you know, and I might say, like, in module 1, we talk about the foundation, and these are where people are setting goals.
Laurieann Morabito [00:20:36]:
All it’s doing is that the audience is sitting there going, oh, she’s a coach. She works with clients. She works with clients 1 on 1. Now they’re like, they might pick up their phone later on and they’re just like, I gotta go, like, look, Laurie and look up in demand signature speech or a meeting planner is listening to you speak Bernie, and they’re thinking they’re nudging the other meeting planner sitting next to them and they’re thinking, hey, we got a spring conference. We could bring him back to speak about leadership because that’s what the whole conference is gonna be about. Mhmm. But that that wouldn’t have happened if you just got up there and just and didn’t sprinkle any seeds.
Bernie Borges [00:21:15]:
Thank you. Now I know because I’ve listened to your podcast that you did a few episodes on speaking in in a corporate setting, speaking when you’re employed at a company. So maybe you can speak to that same concept of cease to selling when it’s an internal thing. You’re not an independent speaker looking to get booked by a meeting planner. You’re doing it in a corporate setting.
Laurieann Morabito [00:21:42]:
Talk about a project that you worked on 2 years ago and how, you know, this is really similar to the project we were working on last spring, whatever the name of that project was. You know, when I worked at Johnson and Johnson, you know, maybe you’re working for Merck right now. When I worked at Johnson and Johnson, one of the leadership, programs that we had available to us, you know, like, we learned about I had the ability to, like, actually practice this when I was doing when I was in this particular role. So you’re still, like, able to plant those little seeds. You’re just you’re basically talking about your past and your talents and your skills that you have right now. And all it’s doing in the corporate environment is, oh, yeah. That’s right. She did work on that project.
Laurieann Morabito [00:22:30]:
That was a very successful project, or I didn’t know that she was part of that project. I had no idea she worked for j and j.
Bernie Borges [00:22:38]:
K. Okay. Very good. Very good. I like that. I like that. Okay. Block number 6 is a masterful closing.
Laurieann Morabito [00:22:47]:
Yes. This is where you want to tie your a nice pretty bow on your presentation. So just to let your audience know, there are 2 sections that I tell people that they should cons highly consider memorizing. 1 is your beginning, so your opening and your authority section and also your close. So the reason for that is by memorizing that portion in the beginning, it gets over the butterflies. You know, like, we all have we all get a little bit of nervousness, the butterflies. And when you know exactly what you’re going to say in those first couple of few minutes, the butterflies just kind of ease. Now the reason for the close is I always want you to be the last thing that the audience hears.
Laurieann Morabito [00:23:31]:
And I wanna make sure that you also get your call to action in. So if the meeting planner asked you to cut your presentation short, if, you know, like, you had a longer q and a section, I want you to look up at a clock knowing my clothes, 5 minutes. Mhmm. And you look up at the clock, you’re like, I have 6 minutes. So I know that I could start my clothes. And then you are the last thing that the audience hears. So you’re summarizing, but you’re also making sure that you get your call to action in. What is it that you want the audience to do to think, to feel differently after you’re done speaking? When the applause is over, what do you want the audience to do?
Bernie Borges [00:24:17]:
I love that. So you’re really thinking about the audience and specifically, you know, there’s 2 things you said that really resonate for me, Lorraine. One is, what do you want them to do, and what do you want them to feel? You know the old adage, people don’t remember what you said, but they’ll remember how you make them feel. Yeah. That that’s powerful, and so focusing on your clothes around how they’re gonna feel, that’s powerful. That’s really that’s a masterful close.
Laurieann Morabito [00:24:48]:
Yeah. And it comes down to, like, we would set goals for the presentation. That’s something that we would have set these goals for the audience and also for you before we even started putting your presentation together. I call us like we are literally reverse engineering your speech. Where do you want the audience to think, to feel, to be? So we’re we’re working our way backwards. So So in order for that to happen, what has to be in the speech? So if you do this really well, this is why it’s an in demand signature speech. You know, like, the audience is going to want whatever your call to action is. It could be a lead magnet.
Laurieann Morabito [00:25:25]:
It could be a q and a call that’s like a couple of weeks later. It could be signing up for a training that you have. It’s anything low cost or even free or even just telling people about your podcast. Go and listen to this particular episode where I dive deeper into this. That’s also a little seed for selling, by the way, Bernie.
Bernie Borges [00:25:46]:
Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I I I I’m gonna ask you to assess this little I’m I’m not gonna call it masterful closing, but how I want people to feel. Yeah. I have not shared this with you before. This is not planned or rehearsed, and that’s very intentional, by the way.
Bernie Borges [00:26:04]:
So I of course, my my whole podcast, my platform is based on the 5 pillars. Right? Health, fitness, career, relationships, and legacy. And I say, don’t chase fulfillment across your entire life. Chase it across each of those pillars distinctly. So I want people to feel like they can achieve fulfillment and not be overwhelmed by it by understanding self awareness that they should focus on each of those 5 pillars, know where they lack fulfillment, and then feel like they they have a sense for where they can go focus on improving their fulfillment. So go ahead and rate me and be brutally honest on that.
Laurieann Morabito [00:26:47]:
Well, what would be your call to action?
Bernie Borges [00:26:49]:
Today, it would be, access to thriving in midlife report where there’s lots of information that’s both useful to individuals and to organizations because the report talks a lot about the implications of each of these findings to employees and the organizational workplace.
Laurieann Morabito [00:27:09]:
Nice. So you want them to sign up for this?
Bernie Borges [00:27:12]:
To to get the report. Yeah. To download the report.
Laurieann Morabito [00:27:15]:
And what and what are they gonna get from this report?
Bernie Borges [00:27:19]:
Well, it is original research, so they’re gonna learn a lot about what makes people tick on this topic of fulfillment in midlife, and there’s a lot in there around, inter multi generational, intergenerational dynamics among individuals and in the workplace. So it’s it’s a lot of just light bulbs that go off. It’s just a lot of facts, so there’s a deeper level of understanding of what people are struggling with, where they feel good and fulfilled, what they want more of, and the, again, the implications in the workplace.
Laurieann Morabito [00:27:53]:
I like it. I do like it, And I know that it’s also a pretty meaty report.
Bernie Borges [00:27:59]:
It is.
Laurieann Morabito [00:28:00]:
So depending on who you’re speaking to. So that might work really, really well with the right audience. But another one that’s almost on the other end of the spectrum could be a quiz.
Bernie Borges [00:28:11]:
Yes.
Laurieann Morabito [00:28:11]:
A quiz so that people could figure out where are they in regards to their fulfillment. You know, maybe they think, like, yeah, I feel like I’ve I’m like, health is a priority, but maybe they’re like, they don’t eat well. They you know, like, if you had a couple of questions. So a quiz is a great call to action from a stage too.
Bernie Borges [00:28:31]:
Yeah. I know you had an episode on that, and I listened to that very intently and really took a lot out of it and and made a note to myself of it’s something that I wanna do in the future. However, I do have a scorecard. I would not call it I would not call it a quiz. I wouldn’t call it
Laurieann Morabito [00:28:47]:
a But that’s but it’s a little bit fun. So you’ve got the very meaty report over here, which is gonna be perfect for certain audiences, depending on who it’s perfect for. And then just to have, like, something else to pull out of your back pocket, the scorecard would be great.
Bernie Borges [00:29:04]:
Right. Right.
Laurieann Morabito [00:29:05]:
So then people are like, you know, like, check check. And what I like about the scorecard is that that’s something that you could quickly pass out, like, get a couple of, like, get an in person event, get a couple of volunteers. They pass out the scorecard, but your information’s on the bottom of that paper.
Bernie Borges [00:29:23]:
Yeah.
Laurieann Morabito [00:29:23]:
And it doesn’t have to be like a giant scorecard. You can get the printed rather rather inexpensively. And then online, if you’re speaking virtually, you can just tell people, like, go here and download this. Make a copy of this, you know, and now you have your scorecard. But it’s a beautiful way for them also to walk away with your information. And you get their email address because how else are they getting the scorecard?
Bernie Borges [00:29:47]:
Right. And I I should say sha shameless shout out here. I mean, the scorecard is on the Midlife Fulfilled website, so it’s available, to anybody who’s listening here. But let’s, let’s get closer to wrapping here because the last one is speaking tips to look like a pro, and I wanna I wanna actually tell you a very quick story. I was 27 years old. I was early in my sales career working for a big company. We were doing a seminar. This is a long time ago.
Bernie Borges [00:30:15]:
Webinars did not exist. The Internet did not exist. Okay. I’m taking you back to the mid eighties. So I’m a young salesperson, and I’m I’m doing my first corporate presentation. It was a marketing presentation, and I had a key role. There were 3 speakers. I was one of them.
Bernie Borges [00:30:31]:
We rehearsed and all that. So I delivered my presentation, and then the other 2 speakers delivered theirs. And there was a 100 or so people in the audience. And afterwards, I went to my boss, and I went to her, and I just loved her to death. I respect her tremendously. I looked up to her as like a mentor, and I said, her name was Barbara, and she went by BJ because her last name was Jean, Barbara Jean. So she went by BJ. I said, BJ.
Bernie Borges [00:30:53]:
I was so nervous. How did I do? And she said to me, I’ll never forget this. She said, Bernie, if you were nervous, you’re the only one who knew it. Yeah. You look calm as can be.
Laurieann Morabito [00:31:03]:
That’s good.
Bernie Borges [00:31:04]:
That was
Laurieann Morabito [00:31:05]:
very good.
Bernie Borges [00:31:06]:
Life changing. I’m telling you, it was life changing. So just that’s my little quick story on speaking tips to look like a pro because she told me I look like a pro even though I didn’t feel it is a moment.
Laurieann Morabito [00:31:18]:
And how wonderful for her to tell you that.
Bernie Borges [00:31:22]:
Yes.
Laurieann Morabito [00:31:22]:
Even if, like I’m I’m just gonna be honest here. Even if it wasn’t true, she probably knew. Like, if I tell him, well, like, I could tell, but, like, we’ll work on it. You would remember that. And the next time you’ve got up there in front of people, it would be like, oh my goodness. I mean, I have a client that I’m working with, and she took too much advice from other people on her speech. Mhmm. And she works for a large company, and they just wanted to find out they wanted her to teach, like, how did you grow your area so quickly? And, unfortunately, she got too much too much input, and it really like, her speech wasn’t authentic.
Laurieann Morabito [00:32:00]:
It wasn’t her. So what I said to her is you need a better memory, and that’s what Barbara did for you. She gave you a great memory. And just to hear you say, like, it was life changing. Yeah. Absolutely life changing. So one of the tips that I always give people because I wanna give you the like, here’s here are the tips that are gonna give you the biggest bang for your buck. Learn how to pause.
Laurieann Morabito [00:32:25]:
You do not have to speak the entire 45 minutes, like speaking, like, really fast and making sure you get all that information in because all you’re gonna do is exhaust the audience. And then again, you don’t wanna speak too slow. But when you do ask a question, you wanna pause. Give the audience space to answer it mentally. Give the audience time to just think from time to time. It really likes pausing is so powerful. So I would say pausing and get there early. This is for in person and also for virtual events, but more with in person events.
Laurieann Morabito [00:33:02]:
Get there early and welcome people. Shake their hands. Thank them for coming. Hey. What compelled you to join this session? Now you’re not speaking to a room full of strangers, but a room full of potential friends. Mhmm. Because you’ve already had if you’ve already said hi to them, you know, and the audience doesn’t know what you forgot to say. Anything that you take out, they won’t know.
Bernie Borges [00:33:25]:
That’s right. That’s a key point, Lorraine. That that’s a key point because we we tend to beat ourselves up. Something that I was taught many years ago is to make eye contact with different people in the audience. Obviously, virtual, you can’t do that, but when you’re speaking live in front of a group of real people, that’s something that I embrace doing, and and I and I would get good feedback from it. And I don’t mean verbal feedback, like, hey, thanks for the eye contact. It was just like the the interaction was really good because of the eye contact. Well, you can do that, Well, you can do that virtually.
Bernie Borges [00:33:56]:
It’s called look in
Laurieann Morabito [00:33:57]:
the camera. One of the best compliments I ever got when the world went had to go very virtual. I had somebody actually in the chat say, you have the best eye contact. I was like, thank you so Yeah. Thank you so much. That meant that meant the world to me. But look in the camera when you’re speaking virtually. And for in person events, it’s a theater term.
Laurieann Morabito [00:34:24]:
And in the National Speakers Association, what we say is honor the cheap seats first. So when you’re when you go into the theater, the seats that are way in the back, those are the lower ticket prices compared to the orchestra seats. So, like, look in the back of the room. Just acknowledge those people and bring your eyes forward. So that all comes down under the eye contact as well.
Bernie Borges [00:34:49]:
Yeah. That’s great. And
Laurieann Morabito [00:34:50]:
I would add no. Add one more. It’s okay for you to end a few minutes early. Don’t go a few minutes over time.
Bernie Borges [00:34:57]:
Right.
Laurieann Morabito [00:34:58]:
You know, it’s disrespectful to the audience. It’s disrespectful to the event. I have seen speakers who got up there. You know, they were speaking, and then they turned to the coordinator and said, how much longer do I have? You have 10 minutes. They spoke fast and ended 15 minutes later. And all you could see is, like, the audience was, like, packing their bags because they had a place they had places to go. So end early, don’t don’t end late.
Bernie Borges [00:35:25]:
Yeah. What I would add to that is the audience knows the difference between an experienced speaker and an inexperienced speaker, and you just gave an example of an inexperienced speaker who Yes. Just doesn’t know enough to not go over like that. So yeah. Yes. Laurieanne, I feel like you’ve you’ve done a little master class here on, how to build your in demand signature speech. How about a closing thought that kinda ties a little bow on on all of it?
Laurieann Morabito [00:35:53]:
Oh my goodness. You know, it’s really hard, you know, in in, under an hour to actually teach everything that I’ve learned in 25 years of professional speaking. So so I would just, like, guide people to it’s true that I’m a reformed painfully shy girl. So I accidentally became a professional speaker, and I share that because I want people to understand that I taught my nervous system new tricks, and you can teach yourself new tricks. That’s how I like to refer to it. But you’re just you’re you’re learning something new. So if you feel like, oh, yeah, but I’m afraid of speaking, it really will open up so many doors of opportunity for you. So I wanna encourage you to do that.
Laurieann Morabito [00:36:34]:
And like Bernie said, he loves my podcast. So I would say, oh, let’s do my podcast. You know?
Bernie Borges [00:36:40]:
Absolutely. And that’s a great no. That’s a great segue. So where can people get into your world? Just all the places where people can connect with you and, of course, include your podcast.
Laurieann Morabito [00:36:51]:
Thank you. Well, the main hub is speak and stand out dot com. And if you prefer to follow and meet me on LinkedIn, there’s links there or Instagram or over to my podcast, which is called be in demand. And I would just send you all to my to my website, and you can just decide on how you would like to follow and consume information. And there’s a couple of lead magnets that are there. If you’re unsure how to get started, there’s a directory of places to speak. And if you would like to learn a little bit more about those seeds, I call them magic phrases. You know, that’s also available over on the website as well.
Bernie Borges [00:37:31]:
You do a masterful job of really providing a lot of really, really useful information on this whole topic of of speaking. So I commend you for that, Lori, and thank you so much for joining me for this maximum episode. You’ve really brought the maximum to this episode. So thank you so much for joining me today, and I look forward to, to listening to more of your podcast and just consuming your your content on an ongoing basis.
Laurieann Morabito [00:37:58]:
Thank you very much, Bernie. That I love what you’re doing here. I love your podcast because I’m a listener as well. Keep up the good work. The world needs you.
Bernie Borges [00:38:08]:
Thank you.
