Bernie Borges [00:00:00]:
Belinda, welcome to the Midlife Fulfill podcast. A vulnerable conversations episode.
Belinda David [00:00:07]:
Thank you, Bernie. I’m really excited about being here. And, yes, and, just a precursor, I have woken up with a bit a cold this morning. So if I’m sounding a bit, croaky or rusty, that’s why.
Bernie Borges [00:00:22]:
Understood. Understood. Yeah. No worries. No worries. It happens to all of us. So thank you for for, staying with our appointment, our scheduled podcast reporting, recording today. I’m excited to really dive into this vulnerable conversation with you.
Bernie Borges [00:00:38]:
Belinda, you say that you are living your best life after 50 with a pair of hiking boots. So I wanna start with your backstory. Tell us your backstory. What got you to living your best life after 50 with a pair of hiking boots?
Belinda David [00:00:59]:
Okay. So, I was in the corporate world. Well, I actually still am in the corporate world, funnily enough. So I in the corporate world, I was a solo mom. And things were things were kinda stressful, you know, the whole menopause thing. And nothing had really been kind to me for about 10, you know, 10 years. It wasn’t, you know, it wasn’t, you know, I didn’t have any sort of major, you know, life crises or anything like that. But 1 day, I looked at the mirror and I just looked at myself and and I was overweight.
Belinda David [00:01:37]:
I hadn’t really done anything for myself for the last 20 years. I’ve lived a high life in the corporate world, and and I’d stayed in, you know, in nice hotels and all that sort of thing and and probably ate, you know, way too much and drunk way way too much wine. I mean, I knew my wines. I mean and, you know, and I kind of and I and I remember looking at myself in the mirror 1 day and just and this was just before, COVID hit. And I just looked at myself, and I thought you really need to sort yourself out. You really need sort yourself out because you only have this 1 life. And
Bernie Borges [00:02:18]:
And when you when you had that thought, were you already in your fifties?
Belinda David [00:02:21]:
Yes. Yes. Okay. Yep. Yep. So I was 55, 56. Okay. Okay.
Belinda David [00:02:31]:
And but but but, you know, I I really felt quite unhealthy. I really felt I I felt unhealthy. You know, sure, I was doing the old yoga, and I was doing the old this, but I really I looked at myself and I thought, I haven’t done anything for myself. I feel I’ve I kinda felt a little bit lost. I was having a midlife crisis, basically.
Bernie Borges [00:02:55]:
Okay.
Belinda David [00:02:55]:
And, yeah.
Bernie Borges [00:02:57]:
Ask you that.
Belinda David [00:02:59]:
And I didn’t, you know, I didn’t have a partner. I, you know, everything would every not things just weren’t falling into place. But However,
Bernie Borges [00:03:08]:
at the time though, you were gainfully employed. Right? You had you had a corporate job. And Yeah. Were you were you fulfilled in your in, like, your work life? Were you professional Midlife, were you fulfilled or not?
Belinda David [00:03:21]:
Not really. No.
Bernie Borges [00:03:23]:
No. So a lot of a lot of a lot of things were really coming together. A lot of forces, not necessarily good forces, really negative forces were really pulling on you.
Belinda David [00:03:33]:
Exactly. And, you know, and as a woman, you know, when we when we get to this this age, sometimes we can look at ourselves in the mirror and if we’re not doing face yoga or whatever the latest craze is, you know, everything’s coming south. You know, everything is coming south, and we kinda look at ourselves going, well, that’s a bit sad. And, so, you know, it really, I think also as, when you are in that midlife, you know, you you get over that 50 hump. You can also feel quite invisible as well. Like, you know, it it was only, like, 10 years ago you were able to, you know, to sort of you sort of felt you had a little bit of oomph. And then and then suddenly I don’t know. For me, that disappeared.
Belinda David [00:04:21]:
And I looked at myself and I thought, I really need to do something. I really need to do something. And I had just finished with a relationship with a, lovely man, but he was a lot older and luckily he doesn’t listen to podcasts and everything. Thank god. But he was he was he was a he was a lot older in himself, and I felt that I was aging along with that. You know how, you know, you get to that midlife and people either start acting really old or they continue being young within themselves and in their body. And I had started to follow that older only because I was partnered up with someone who was following that route. And so I thought, right, well, this this isn’t right.
Belinda David [00:05:09]:
I’ve always been active in my life. So what I did was I, I and I’d always looked at hikers, and I it’s always just like this high kind of jealousy. Like, I want to be able to do that, but, you know, the the the people I was with, it was it was it was never, it never not that I never had the chance, but it’s
Bernie Borges [00:05:34]:
So all the circumstances in your life really just didn’t, make that easy for you?
Belinda David [00:05:39]:
Exactly. So I off I trotted down to the local, to the local, you know, outdoor shop and bought myself a pair of hiking boots. And I can remember that very first hike I did. It was 17 kilometers, whatever that is in miles, maybe about 10 miles, but it was down this huge gully and up and up again. So it probably had an elevation of about 600, you know, meters. Mhmm. I I I’m not work I’m not translating to Miles at the moment.
Bernie Borges [00:06:09]:
Yeah. And I have to.
Belinda David [00:06:10]:
That’s okay.
Bernie Borges [00:06:11]:
We we have an international listening audience here on the Midlife Fulfilled podcast. Yeah.
Belinda David [00:06:16]:
And I can remember I almost died. Like, I literally almost died, and I’m a little bit uncoordinated. So I can remember falling over and these people helping me back up and I just felt like, oh my god. You know, these people are, you know, like, older than me, and they’re fitness they’re health. And here I am. I’m just like this blob. So, anyway but I I did it. I I did the hike, and it’s probably 1 of my favorite hikes now.
Belinda David [00:06:49]:
And I now, you know, when I’m, back on the Gold Coast, I actually do it as a, you know, just as a a morning, you know, a morning excursion. And so that really was the defining, thing was for me to say, yes, I can do it. And then it was just that from going from that to a transition to doing multi day hikes by myself and getting, doing more and more difficult, more technical hikes and wild camping and staying out by myself and I’m really happy with that. And I wake up and have best guess outside my tent, and it’s like, oh, I had a bed last night. Come and see you visit me.
Bernie Borges [00:07:34]:
Wow. Wow. Okay. Right. There’s there’s so much I wanna unpack. I wanna come back to something you said a couple of moments ago. You said that some people age along further. Some people stay young, and some people age older than their actual age.
Bernie Borges [00:07:50]:
I can really relate to that because I’m 67, and I meet 67 year olds. And I’m gonna pick on the guys here who are out of shape, you know, just struggling. You know? And and and I feel like I’m in better shape than most 35 year old men, which is intentional. And I I you know, I’m boasting a little bit, but I deserve to because I’ve been working out for 40 years. So so and I’m blessed with the health to do that. So are you finding your yourself that you are sort of gravitating toward those kind of people who wanna stay young as opposed to people who are maybe in your age range but are older than you?
Belinda David [00:08:30]:
Yep. Absolutely. And where I’m from on the Gold Coast in Australia, there’s a lot of older people that that they’re out there surfing every morning and, like, they literally run around, you know, looking and acting like 30 year olds. And so they the whole cop the the whole concept is quite young there, but I also think it’s geographical. Yeah. I think you have some geographical areas where or, you know, the yeah. Geographical areas, would you say, where, you know, where people sort of act a little bit older? You know, you have pockets where people are a lot younger, and I think yeah, as and I don’t want to sort of sort of say too much because I might upset some people, but I really do think that it it comes down to, you know, a society in a society where you are growing up or where you’re living and and it might be sort of a little bit different, you know, maybe that’s changed. Maybe I’m talking about 10 years ago, But, yes, definitely, there’s a lot of people that, you know, at 1 point in their time, they they moved to be older, and I backtracked from that.
Belinda David [00:09:41]:
I was just like, no no way no way am I gonna start acting old. III was starting to dress old. I was starting to dress old. That’s how you know, that’s Yeah. That’s how you know, and that’s when you go, oops. Yep.
Bernie Borges [00:09:55]:
Right. Right. So it sounds like it was really sort of a wake up moment for you. Yeah. That that moment where you had fallen down and you were struggling and older people helped you, and it sounds like that was really, a watershed moment for you. You know, it’s interesting, Belinda. I had a similar experience, but it was at the age of 24. And I’ll tell the story very quickly because I wanna focus on you.
Bernie Borges [00:10:21]:
But I woke up, bad habits, drinking every night after work. Obviously, very young, 24. And I woke up 1 day in the middle of the week. It was a Wednesday or Thursday, and I just didn’t like what I saw in the mirror. I was out of shape. I was flabby, no muscle tone, and boom, like a light switch. I said, that’s it. No more.
Bernie Borges [00:10:38]:
So instead of going out drinking after work, I that’s when I started working out consistently. I joined a gym, and I have not stopped since then. That was 40 plus years ago. I’ve committed to to working out, you know, since then, without stopping. And so my question my next question for you sort of in that vein is after having that moment, that experience, do you feel that you look at, like, others in your age demographic differently. And I don’t know if I’m asking you if you’re judging them because that may not be a a healthy thing. But, like, how do you choose your friends? How do you go about socializing knowing what’s important to you?
Belinda David [00:11:17]:
Well, I mean, the thing is is that most of my friends whether or not they’re, you know, they I I don’t if if I had a friend who was acting older than they are, They’re my friend for other reasons. They’re my friend because they they might be a good listener. They they might they they’ll bring something to the table which is valuable to me. So I don’t think that I would just choose my friends based on what my lifestyle is. I really don’t. You know? I mean, if somebody’s really, you know, like, doing everything wrong in terms of health and everything. Well, you know, I mean, I wanna be there for them if that makes sense. I, you know, III want to I want to be an inspiration to them.
Belinda David [00:12:11]:
And the only reason that I would not have a friend is basically if they’re not friend worthy.
Bernie Borges [00:12:19]:
Right. Right.
Belinda David [00:12:20]:
If that makes sense.
Bernie Borges [00:12:21]:
Absolutely.
Belinda David [00:12:21]:
Have I have I answered your question or did I
Bernie Borges [00:12:24]:
Yeah. Yeah.
Belinda David [00:12:25]:
You had?
Bernie Borges [00:12:26]:
But but are you making new friends based on your passion for hiking?
Belinda David [00:12:31]:
Absolutely. Absolutely. And, and I’ll give you a really good example is we have what’s known on the Gold Coast as the Kokoda Challenge.
Bernie Borges [00:12:39]:
This is the Gold Coast of Australia?
Belinda David [00:12:42]:
Yes. Yes. Okay. It’s terrifying. Yeah. And we have what’s known as the Kokoda challenge. And it’s basically you either do 48 or 96 kilometers, and you’ve got 39 hours to do it. Basically, it’s to do it’s to do with the Kokoda Trail where our diggers or our servicemen fought the Japanese in Papua New Guinea on in Kokoda on the Kokoda Trail, and it’s basically to remember them.
Belinda David [00:13:11]:
Excuse me. And so you you join the team and you do this challenge, and we did 48 kilometers. And it it is gnarly. It is up there, down there, up there, down there. It was really, really hard. I can remember almost crying at 1 stage looking at the next hill and go, are you serious? I’m so tired. And but the whole thing is is that as a team, you’ve got be able to work together. And because that’s what our our diggers or our our servicemen, how they fought the Japanese.
Belinda David [00:13:46]:
They were ill prepared, ill trained, and they and they and it it’s probably 1 of the most famous famous battles in Australian history. And, so though those girls, my Kokoda team or my Kokoda tribe, we are so tight now. And, you know, and we all we are all so different, but we’ve got that 1 bond, and we’ve got that 1 love of hiking. And we are also different, but at the same time, we’re also, you know, almost like sisters. It’s it’s quite amazing. So, yes, I have met and and got involved with a lot of people in in the outdoors hiking industry, and they excite me. And I want to know more. I want to learn more.
Belinda David [00:14:35]:
I mean, I’m meeting a friend tomorrow and, I’m dropping them off at the northern terminus for the PCT and, the Pacific Crest Trail for anyone who doesn’t know. And he’s a celiac, and I can’t wait. He’s gonna do a big shop, and I can’t wait to find out what he’s buying. I, you know, I’m gonna write a blog post about this. You know? Yeah. Yeah. So but but also he’s writing to ultralight, and now I’m going to, you know, I’m going to go through all the stuff and then, 0000. Like you know? So Yeah.
Belinda David [00:15:05]:
I mean, you must must admit, hike is really a gear gearheads. So So I
Bernie Borges [00:15:08]:
can certainly I can certainly see how you’re meeting people in this community, the hiking community. Yeah. And you have hiking in common. I can certainly see how you and your teammates bonded Yeah. Whenever you go through an experience like that that’s very intense and it’s all about being a team and and winning or losing together as a team. You know, for just from a human standpoint, we all we we create strong bonds when we’re in a situation like that. I wanna come back to something that we discussed before we started recording, Belinda. Before we started recording, you were talking about the struggles that women go through in midlife and, you know, menopause and and the like.
Bernie Borges [00:15:50]:
And I know I’m a man and all that, but, at least half of the midlife listening audience is not only women, but also the guys. We have women in our lives. So why don’t you speak to that experience?
Belinda David [00:16:03]:
Yeah. Sure. And and and this isn’t for all women or or all people facing midlife, but, you know, you kind of get to that to that 50, 55 year old and you’ve either you either feel very fulfilled or you don’t feel fulfilled. And and that can be on a it can be financially. It can be emotionally. You know, you might have failed marriages. You might have failed businesses. You might, you you know, you might have failed health.
Belinda David [00:16:33]:
You might have failed relationships with your children. So I think we kind of get to that point where, you know, we’re sort of midlife and we can look in the mirror and we don’t like what we what we see. And a lot of it can be, especially for women with that mid, Midlife for menopause. You know, the menopause could just make you feel horrible. It can, you know, suddenly you’ve got all hairs coming out on your chin, you know. And and literally, things do start to to go health. You know, you might you know, unless you’re doing, you know, face yoga or whatever they you know, the the latest thing is. And so, you know, and and and suddenly, you know, that sexy 20 year old has disappeared.
Belinda David [00:17:19]:
And and you might have, you know, you might have children. You might have they they might be grown up, but they’re still needy. And so you’ve you’ve given so much to your children, to your job, possibly even to a husband who isn’t helping around the house. And and and I’m not saying that’s from a female point of view because it can also work the other way, you know. I mean, you know, in a relationship, you it’s a team.
Bernie Borges [00:17:47]:
Mhmm.
Belinda David [00:17:47]:
You know, AAA relationship is a team and sometimes well, a lot of the time, you get to this age and you think, you know, we haven’t been a team. We haven’t been a team for a long time. You know, we we stopped being a team when when we were 30. And what happened? Suddenly, you know, I feel like the doormat or on the flip side, it might be the guy going, you know, she just treats me like a doormat, you know. And so I kind of feel that, you know, for a lot of people, they kind of it’s it’s a real turning point because we only have 20 to 30 year years left in our lives, you know, depending on what age you are. I mean, you know, you might have longevity in your family or you might not. But, you know, there isn’t that much time left and it the the clock’s ticking pretty fast. So you kind of go, right.
Belinda David [00:18:41]:
Okay. And that was the deciding factor for me to say, right, I have to do something with my life. But I also feel for so I really feel for all of those people, you know, maybe even women because our beauty is so it’s it’s important to us, you know, it really is to look in the mirror and, you know, where where did she go? Where did that where did that where did that fun loving person go? You know, where where is she? You know? And and and you you can feel washed out. You can feel exhausted. You know? And so, yeah, that’s it.
Bernie Borges [00:19:15]:
So so, Belinda, as I was listening to you explain that, you touched on, I think, all but 1 of my 5 pillars. So as you may or may not know, what I talk about on the Midlife Fulfilled podcast is seeking and finding fulfillment across 5 pillars. Instead of looking at your life as 1 big ocean that you’re trying to swim across, think of it as 5 ponds, 5 pillars. Right? Health, fitness, and yes, they’re related, but they’re also there’s some separation there. Health, fitness, career, relationships, and legacy. So the only 1 that I don’t think you really touched on is legacy. But, you know, you talked about you can find yourself in poor health, you can find yourself in poor fitness. Maybe, you know, you don’t like your job or you’re not fulfilled in your job.
Bernie Borges [00:19:59]:
You can find yourself struggling with relationships. And while neither you nor I I’m gonna speak for you now, and I think you’ll agree with me. So you’re gonna give me permission to speak for you. Like, we’re not here to be a downer. We’re not here to be negative to everybody who’s listening. But the fact is a lot of people experience what you just explained. Right? Yeah. Both women and men.
Bernie Borges [00:20:21]:
So the point I’m driving is what you have experienced, Belinda, in the short amount of time that you and I have known each other is you have found something that you’re excited about, something you’re passionate about, something that gives you fulfillment. I would even say, and tell me if you agree or not, gives you purpose, gives you a reason to get out of bed in the morning and just live life.
Belinda David [00:20:44]:
Absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. And, you know, we touched on, you you spoke about legacy as well. I mean, you know, my children, my greatest fans oh, sorry. My mom. My mom, she’s loves every Facebook post. She’s up there.
Belinda David [00:21:00]:
She’s the first 1 to like it. So but, you know, when when you have, when you have your your daughter says, I’m so proud of you, you know, you know, it it it really does it it makes me feel wow. You know? I’m it is a wow factor. It is a wow factor. And I think, you know, to have your kids appreciate what you do is so it’s gold. It really is. It’s gold.
Bernie Borges [00:21:28]:
Sounds like it’s fulfilling.
Belinda David [00:21:30]:
Yeah. It is.
Bernie Borges [00:21:32]:
Wonderful. Wonderful. Well, Belinda, your your story is inspiring. And I really hope that the listener what the listener takes away is not necessarily the hiking part of it because that’s your unique story. The hiking part is your unique story. But the fact that you woke up, you had this sort of revelation about where you are in life. You didn’t feel great about it, and then you you do something about it. And you found this this passion of yours, which for you happens to be hiking.
Bernie Borges [00:22:03]:
So before we wrap up here, please let the listener know where can they connect with you. I know you’ve got a website. You’ve got an ebook. You’ve got a few things you wanna just share on how people might wanna connect with you.
Belinda David [00:22:14]:
Sure. Sure. So my website is soultredder.com which is soultreader dotcom. And, I do have an ebook which is just out, and it’s called health, hygiene, and safety on the trail. So if you’re if you are thinking about getting out and walking, then I really do recommend it because it will give you, those are the 3 pillars which are important for for, for hiking. Because, you know, when you when you do go out into the wilderness, if you, you know, if you do get into danger, you do need to know what to do. And, so I think so I think that’s quite important but I did want to say something else even though this is my story for going hiking. I would encourage anybody who feels like I did looking in the mirror to get out in nature because there is something which happens to the to to your brain when you do when you do see, go out into nature.
Belinda David [00:23:23]:
It really is something which I think is I think it’s the amygdala that that yeah. It it takes away a lot of stress. For me, going out into the into the wilderness is like a giant sponge that can actually soak up all the stresses. And you don’t have to get into multi day hiking like I do, but just just get out amongst the trees and just try it, you know.
Bernie Borges [00:23:48]:
Belinda, I could not agree with you more. I think that is wonderful advice. Thank you for sharing that. And we’ll share the link to your website, the link to your ebook. And just, again, a point of clarification, your ebook is really for hikers. Right? And it is It is. It is for hikers. That you sell, so it’s available for for purchase, but
Belinda David [00:24:10]:
it’s for hikers. Yep. Correct. Okay. Correct. It is for hikers. But if you are starting out, it’s invaluable.
Bernie Borges [00:24:17]:
Understood. Understood. Yep. Well, again, all that will be linked up in the show notes. And Belinda, I just wanna thank you for joining me on this episode of the Midlife Fulfill podcast, a vulnerable conversations episode. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed our vulnerable conversations.
Belinda David [00:24:32]:
So did I, Bernie. That was great. Yep.
