Bernie Borges [00:00:00]:
Phil Gerberschak. Welcome to the Midlife of Phil podcast, my friend, a BF to AF episode.
Phil Gerbyshak [00:00:08]:
Hey, Bernie. What’s up? It’s great to be with you again, my friend.
Bernie Borges [00:00:11]:
It’s great to be with you again as well. Phil, we’ve got a little bit of history. We go back about 10 years, so I can’t wait to hear your BF to AF story. But before we do that, I always like to begin with that age question. And that is, which bracket or decade are you in, Phil?
Phil Gerbyshak [00:00:31]:
Yeah. I’m in the my 5th decade. So I just turned 50 last December.
Bernie Borges [00:00:35]:
The big five o. Well, congratulations. Congratulations. You’re almost catching up to me. You’re almost but something about the way it works that you’ll never catch up. Right? Alright. Well, as I mentioned, we’ve got some history together. You know, we’ve become buddies.
Bernie Borges [00:00:53]:
We actually work together. But, hey, it’s your story, Phil. So where do you wanna begin your b f to a f story?
Phil Gerbyshak [00:01:01]:
Well, I think it probably makes the most sense to start kind of right about now, and then we’ll go back and catch some stuff up because
Bernie Borges [00:01:08]:
So like a flashback?
Phil Gerbyshak [00:01:10]:
Yeah. It was flashback. Right? Diddly loop diddly loop. We’d be like Wayne’s world. Right? We imagine the squiggles, but not yet. Right? So, so I just started teaching school. And that’s, that’s pretty crazy. But if I rewind that, 25 years ago, I actually went to school to be a teacher, and I didn’t finish my degree.
Bernie Borges [00:01:30]:
Mhmm.
Phil Gerbyshak [00:01:30]:
And I always thought, hey, maybe one day I’ll do that. Well, 25 years ago, I probably wasn’t, mature enough to handle parents, and I probably wasn’t mature enough to handle administration. But I could have taught 25 years ago, but I got a sales job, and I never really looked back, from that. I’ve stayed in corporate. I was a VP of IT. I’ve done a lot of cool stuff. I’ve, I still do, I guess, a lot of cool stuff.
Bernie Borges [00:01:57]:
You do.
Phil Gerbyshak [00:01:58]:
You do. It’s it’s interesting because I would have never thought that this was gonna be the year that I was gonna teach Bernie, but it’s as it happened, I was like, all right. Well, let’s give it a go. So here we go. This is my first, the end of my 1st week as a school teacher. I’ve taught 1st grade. I’ve taught 6th grade. I’ve taught 8th grade.
Phil Gerbyshak [00:02:19]:
I’ve taught 7th grade. So next week, I’ve got a little bit of high school. And it’s really interesting because I think it does touch a couple of your pillars. 1st, it touches the careers pillar for sure. Yeah. Because I’ve sold, I’ve been on Wall Street for up and I’ve been up in Canada at some of the biggest banks and biggest financial institutions up there. And I’ve been on Main Street, and now I’m in the classroom. And it’s so interesting because I get I’ll be able to share my experiences and make an impact in ways that I I never thought possible before.
Phil Gerbyshak [00:02:56]:
Wow. It’s pretty wild.
Bernie Borges [00:02:58]:
So a couple of things running through my head. I did the quick math. So I guess 1998 was the year, right? 25 years ago? Or 99 thereabouts. Wow. You graduated with a or you were going to school for a teaching degree, but then life happened. You got into sales and other things, and then here you are 25 years later. When did you say to yourself fairly recently, you’re gonna do this? When did did when did you get that conviction that you’re gonna do this?
Phil Gerbyshak [00:03:33]:
Well, I talked to my wife right around Christmas time. The kids were with their dad, and I was like, you know, I think I wanna do this teaching. And she’s like, my wife is wonderfully supportive. I mean, I could’ve told her I wanna be a doctor. She just said, okay. Great. And I said, I think I wanna do this. She goes, well, you’d be great at it.
Phil Gerbyshak [00:03:51]:
You should really, really think about it. If this is what you wanna do, this is what you should do. So right around the 1st of the year, I started looking into it actually. I started seeing, is this even a possibility? Because I don’t have my education degree. I don’t have the experience. And thankfully, maybe for me, maybe, maybe not for the kids, but for me, there’s a massive teacher shortage. So I was able to get, an, substitute license within a month. So the whole month of January, I filled out paperwork.
Phil Gerbyshak [00:04:23]:
There’s, like, 15 pages 15 different forms to fill out. You have to get background checked, FBI background checked, local background check, all this stuff. So finally, around right around the the 7th February, I got I I went through the orientation class, and I I got it. I I finished it. And I was like, okay. So when am I gonna start? I’m thinking about this. Well, as I usually do because I’m born ready, then very that day, I finished that up. And then that day, I went and I had a 2 hour class.
Phil Gerbyshak [00:04:59]:
So I just broke the seal right away. Wow. So I guess yeah.
Bernie Borges [00:05:03]:
So I
Phil Gerbyshak [00:05:03]:
guess it was about Christmas. One of
Bernie Borges [00:05:04]:
many things I know about you is that you’re an extrovert and you’re talented. Yeah. So and you you have that that mindset of let’s do this. So tell us about what you’re experiencing. Because my perception of the the classroom today, is it high school or middle school Midlife school or both?
Phil Gerbyshak [00:05:23]:
All of it. I haven’t been in a high school yet. I’ll be in a high school
Bernie Borges [00:05:26]:
next week. Okay. So my perception of the classroom today, probably more so in high school than middle school, although probably both, is that it’s a challenging environment. You know? So what are you experiencing so far?
Phil Gerbyshak [00:05:40]:
Health, it is a challenging environment. That is absolutely true. Attention spans are very short. I am shocked at how much technology these kids get at such a young age. Even my 1st graders that I taught yesterday, Bernie, they’ve got Chromebooks. Like, they know how to pull it out of the wall. They know how to log in. They know how to use it.
Phil Gerbyshak [00:06:03]:
I mean, touchscreen and everything. They’re they’re more I think they have the potential to be more distracted than ever before. Mhmm. And middle schoolers absolutely are. They absolutely are. And the stuff that they talk about is just unbelievable. I mean, the stuff that I hear as they would walk past my classroom in the hallway, I’m like, oh, boy. And then today, teaching, 8th grade science, these kids, some of them some are dug in.
Phil Gerbyshak [00:06:32]:
They’re they’re they’re like, like I was when I was in school. Like, they’re really excited to be there and you can tell they wanna get their work done. And then there are some kids that frankly, they’re just having a tough time of it. They’re just they’re struggling to even show up. And so I had I had one young man that, he you could tell he I I I or I I felt like I could tell. I don’t know. I didn’t ask him this question, but he was having a tough time. So he just when he got done with his work, he just laid his head down.
Phil Gerbyshak [00:07:01]:
He took a nap. And I was like, and I don’t know if he actually fell asleep or not. I mean, I didn’t hear him snoring. But it was so interesting, just the dynamic. Some kids are very vocal. Some kids are more shy. Some kids are more into themselves. And so it’s all across the spectrum.
Phil Gerbyshak [00:07:19]:
And I guess it’s challenging mostly because there’s 25 different personalities. And you got to talk a little bit to each one of them. I mean, sometimes I got to use my big outside voice. Sometimes I got to use my calm inside voice. Sometimes, especially with little ones, if you can hear my voice clap once, they’re there. And the older kids, I have to go up and almost and I don’t I don’t want to say get in their face, but get next to them in a way that that is really meaningful. I’m like, you know, I’m talking with you and I’d like you to settle down. And so it’s very interesting.
Phil Gerbyshak [00:07:59]:
But it is a challenge. There’s no question about it. It’s, it’s, I don’t know what I expected, but I I’m getting, I’m getting across the spectrum. So it’s, I guess, maybe and challenging.
Bernie Borges [00:08:11]:
What about the dynamic with other teachers, especially those that are there full time? Because you’re a sub. Right? You’re a substitute teacher. So what’s the dynamic been so far with the those teachers that are there full time?
Phil Gerbyshak [00:08:24]:
Well, this is actually kinda fun, because they’re really excited that I’m there. They’re hoping I’m gonna come back because they need substitutes bad. I mean, there are, like, 1100, 1100 openings or possibilities for openings. And every day, there’s like 100 or 150 substitute opportunities And not every subs sub gets filled. So that means that the kids you know, it’s almost like if they don’t have a parent for a while, the kids just run wild for a period. And maybe maybe an, maybe a school secretary comes in or maybe, one of the specialists specialty teachers comes in. So they’re very friendly. They’re very helpful.
Phil Gerbyshak [00:09:04]:
This morning, I couldn’t I couldn’t figure out how to log into the computer. Me of all people can’t figure out the technology. Come on. Yeah. Really. Right? That’s a shock. And, yeah, I was shocked too. And I we by the way, I never did get logged into the technology.
Phil Gerbyshak [00:09:20]:
The techno we just we went a different direction. I said, you know what? Forget it. I’m gonna look for something else. So thankfully, there were some handouts, that I could hand out to the kids and do that. But there was a teacher right next door that was extremely health. And some of them some of them just walked right past Midlife I’m one of them, which is also interesting. So I think the the dynamic feels good, but, you know, it’s my 1st week, and I walk around pretty confidently. I mean, that’s just who I am.
Phil Gerbyshak [00:09:48]:
Well, yeah,
Bernie Borges [00:09:48]:
that’s who you are. You’re you’re a confident extrovert. No question about it. That’s I’ve always known that about you, and I’ve always admired that about you. What about speaking of being a confident extrovert, what about prep like, lesson preparation, especially multiple subjects? How does that work?
Phil Gerbyshak [00:10:03]:
Well, I will tell you that was probably what unnerved me the most because I didn’t think I’d be ready. And I’m not ready to teach. I’m going to be really clear. I’m ready to substitute. So that means that they have the they have, whatever the assignment is ready for me, and I basically have to hand it out and answer questions a little bit anyway. Today was on was on the pedigree of fact and understanding if kids are or if, you know, if if there’s a recessive and a dominant gene n n n and all of that stuff. And I was like, oh, boy. I don’t know how I’m gonna do this.
Phil Gerbyshak [00:10:43]:
Now the good news is very few of the kids asked any questions. It’s like they knew it. So I’m so so I’m just like, hey. This is pretty good. I’m I’m very grateful for that, and I walk around.
Bernie Borges [00:10:52]:
Do you have, like, chat GPT dialed up on your phone, ready to
Phil Gerbyshak [00:10:55]:
go? I probably should. Right? I mean, that’s a good idea. I’ll get that dialed up for next class, but what was interesting is they actually seem to get it. Now one of the challenges though with that is the kids who don’t get it actually, it’s I can’t say that they help each other because what happens the because I don’t mind health, but there was a couple of the kids that, frankly, they just cheat. They would go over and they would get the paper from somebody health, and they just write down somebody else’s answers. So that was really interesting. And I don’t know if that’s allowed or if that’s not allowed, but I took a note. I’m like, okay.
Phil Gerbyshak [00:11:31]:
Well, this person copied off this person and this person copied off this person. But preparation, I don’t get any prep, Bernie. In fact, that in fact, the the normal what they call plan periods, I I have to go fill in somebody else’s classroom who doesn’t have a substitute for the day. So, like, then they get an hour by hour substitute, so there’s no continuity at all.
Bernie Borges [00:11:51]:
That that would freak me out. That would freak me out because I I just can’t imagine walking into a classroom unprepared. Frankly, I think I’d be intimidated. I I I can’t imagine a bunch of kids and their reaction to a teacher that is unprepared. You know? I would imagine that it would be unforgiving. That’s what would intimidate me. You know?
Phil Gerbyshak [00:12:12]:
Yeah. I think it I think it is. I think it is. I think with that, though, I believe in this, right? I’ve never been in that very situation before teaching that very class, but I’ve been in situations like that. I mean, I’ve had times, Bernie, where I’ve had, you know, 4 minutes to prepare to deliver a 45 minute talk and I could do that. I mean, I ripped through the slides. I gave a little look and off we went, and people said it was great. So I I haven’t yet like, I’m not in Spanish or anything that I don’t really don’t
Bernie Borges [00:12:44]:
know. Sorry. Sorry, Phil. Yes. Yeah. You could do that on material that you’re that’s within your wheelhouse, right?
Phil Gerbyshak [00:12:52]:
That’s right. Yeah.
Bernie Borges [00:12:53]:
If I was in your shoes as a sub, and I get a call and say, You’re up at 3 o’clock on trigonometry? Like, I’m panicking.
Phil Gerbyshak [00:13:02]:
Yeah. I probably would too. I, yeah. I I don’t know. Honestly, Bernie, I don’t know. I guess I’m so used to just going with the flow and being present with whatever it is. And and again, wanna be clear. I don’t have to lecture.
Phil Gerbyshak [00:13:17]:
I just have to hand out the paperwork.
Bernie Borges [00:13:18]:
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Phil Gerbyshak [00:13:19]:
And then I have to be available. I I think lecturing, maybe that would be demoralized.
Bernie Borges [00:13:25]:
That that that makes that makes that makes sense. Makes more sense, gives me a little bit more more comfort. I wanna shift gears a little bit because, you know, I wanna make sure we we talk about this other topic that, you know, this is unrehearsed. You don’t even know what I’m gonna ask you. But one thing that I I know about you is that you’re also a podcaster. Yeah. How did you get into podcasting and where is that within your overall life journey?
Phil Gerbyshak [00:13:53]:
Sure. Well, I got involved, 15, 16 years ago back when you had to pick up a telephone and and call into a phone number and then both sides had to. So it had to be a good connection, so it didn’t echo, echo, echo. Those were tough times, I’ll tell you. I remember I got to talk with, Ken Blanchard. I talked with Seth Godin early on. I talked with Paul Williams. He used to be the CMO at Starbucks.
Phil Gerbyshak [00:14:23]:
I’ve talked to I’ve talked to people that way. And it was it that you wanna talk about unnerving. That was unnerving because I didn’t even know if the connection was gonna be good enough. So that was interesting. And since then, I’ve talked to Seth now three times. I’ve talked to Tom Peters 3 times at Marshall Goldsmith on lot lot of marketers. I’ve had Yuan. I’ve had Jay Baer on a couple of times, Scott Stratton, a lot you know, Sally Hogshead has been on the show.
Phil Gerbyshak [00:14:53]:
A lot of really, really awesome people that really have great stories and great insights. And now I’m moving my podcast to focus on happiness, which is really fun for me.
Bernie Borges [00:15:05]:
Okay. So so I’m gonna I’m gonna do a spoiler thing here. Right? So I’m gonna I’m gonna share the name of your podcast show, and then I’m gonna ask you to explain it. It’s Sure. Happy AF, and your AF, I don’t think is the same as my AF. So tell us all about that.
Phil Gerbyshak [00:15:22]:
Well, it could be, it can be. I always like to say that it can be, right? Your AF can be that, but my AF stands for authentically fulfilled. And that is important, right? Authentic is all about who I am, all about who you are and fulfilled while fulfillment, hey, you kinda know a little bit about that, Bernie. So, yeah, so that’s the that’s the show. And it’s all about, you know, what’s your happy? Why why is it happy for you? And how does that fit into everything else? And to your point, right? How does podcasting fit in to mine? I just love to share people’s stories. One of my favorite things in the world, Bernie, is to be able to cheer my friends on. That’s why I started the show. That’s why I keep going.
Phil Gerbyshak [00:16:04]:
I I if you have a new book, if you have a new project that you’re working on and you’re my friend or you’re someone that I think I could learn from, you’re gonna be on the show. I’m I’m gonna ask. I mean, I’ve made I I bet I make more friends just by saying, wow. You got some interesting stuff. You wanna you can I help you promote your stuff? Would you like to be on my show? And I I make the most interesting friends. It’s pretty cool.
Bernie Borges [00:16:28]:
Wow. That’s fascinating. Well, again, you’re, you’re an intelligent extrovert, so that comes easy for you. Right? I mean, you’ve had, like you said, Seth Godin, who’s a big name in marketing, and others that you’ve mentioned. If if you’re not in the marketing world, you wouldn’t know those names. If you’re in the marketing world, you would know those names. Right? Mhmm. So so that that is that is fantastic.
Bernie Borges [00:16:49]:
So what what’s next? You know, you recently turned 50. How are you looking at your life? I don’t mean to get all that, you know, deep, but let’s go there. Let’s get deep. Like, how are you looking at things? You know, you’re in this decade now, the big five o. You’ve started doing the substitute teaching thing, which is kind of a dream come true if I understand correctly. Right? You’re still doing the podcast thing. So what’s next for Phil?
Phil Gerbyshak [00:17:15]:
Health, I’m my focus is on being the best dad that I can be for my for my 8 year old. My 17 year old is she’s she graduates high school next career. So I’m certainly I I try my best to be good for her, but I I don’t have much impact time left on her. She’s gonna be going to college. She’s super smart. She’s gonna do amazing in school. I’m so proud of her. Bright, bright young lady.
Phil Gerbyshak [00:17:39]:
But my my youngest, he’s 8. And I wanna coach. I wanna be present for him. I don’t wanna be on the road every day. You know, I’ve traveled a lot, and I love to travel. Don’t misunderstand me, but I love being with him. I love to have time with Asher. And so, what’s next? I want to coach.
Phil Gerbyshak [00:17:57]:
I want to be present with him. I want to maybe even teach at his school, which would be really fun or at least near his school so that I can take him to school. I can make him breakfast in the morning. I can pick him up. I can make him dinner so that I can be there. Now my wife is a big help. I’m not saying that I’m doing this alone, but I wanna be able to be with him. And I wanna coach.
Phil Gerbyshak [00:18:18]:
I wanna coach his I I wanna coach his basketball and his football. Not necessarily head coach, although I would be if they asked me to be. But I just I wanna be present. I wanna be there. I wanna cheer him on. I wanna make sure that he can be the best Asher he can be, and he’s such a great kid. So that’s a lot of it. I think I’m gonna stay teaching.
Phil Gerbyshak [00:18:37]:
I don’t know that I’m gonna move up and be an administrator. I guess that’s possible. But I really wanna teach. I really wanna spend time in the classroom teaching kids. I’ll get my education degree, probably a master’s in education.
Bernie Borges [00:18:56]:
Okay. I was going to ask you that, okay.
Phil Gerbyshak [00:18:59]:
Mhmm. Yep. But first I have to get an alternative certification and then you get and then you get, they punch your ticket and you’re certified. But, yeah, I’m gonna get my masters. I don’t know yet if it’s gonna be in curriculum or if it’s gonna be in administration, but I’ll probably get my master’s, and then look to see what what that brings. But I don’t plan 20 years ahead. I mean, I I I try to leave a legacy every day. I try to impact the world every single day.
Phil Gerbyshak [00:19:28]:
I I don’t I I don’t look that far ahead, because I don’t know. I mean, yeah. Okay. Teaching is certainly a dream come true, but until December, I hadn’t even seriously considered it, and here we go. Right. You know what
Bernie Borges [00:19:42]:
I mean? It’s really just been a few months. But but, again, kudos to you, which is no surprise because I know you. But kudos to you for taking the action and actually, you know, getting in there and doing it. That’s fantastic. Regarding coaching your son, first of all, I commend you for that, and it’s it’s a great experience. I’ve done it myself. I have a daughter. She’s 33 now.
Bernie Borges [00:20:03]:
I have a son. He’s 28 now. So I did coach my son’s baseball team. I was the head coach on his baseball team for a couple of years. And then I also coached him in soccer when he was really small before he grew and got serious at career. And then the coaches were real coaches who played soccer and had, you know, coaching expertise. I’ll tell you a quick story. When he was a teenager and serious about soccer and on on a traveling team, traveling within Florida, he was in a tournament, and and I went to the first few games in the tournament.
Bernie Borges [00:20:39]:
And then the last game was on a Sunday afternoon or Sunday evening. It was Sunday evening. And I didn’t go, Phil, because I had work to do for the next day. Now I can’t tell you what it was. I have no recollection of what it was. He ends up winning kicking the winning goal for the tournament, and I wasn’t there. Mhmm. I was devastated with myself.
Phil Gerbyshak [00:21:01]:
Yeah.
Bernie Borges [00:21:02]:
You know, like, upset with myself because whatever I was working on on which I have no recollection of was more important than me being there on that Sunday evening, you know, the final game of the tournament, the championship game, and he kicks the winning goal. So I commend you. The there are so many moments that you know, I’m not gonna take any more time, but there are so many memories. And that’s what you can look forward to is the memories, also the 1 on 1 bonding time, the experiences, the highs, the lows, the wins, the losses. It it is off the charts amazing, amazing experiences.
Phil Gerbyshak [00:21:40]:
Awesome. Yeah. I coached I was like an an assistant coach on a Seaball team, and I remember the first game that he won the game ball. And I still have the picture. Bernie, he’s holding up the ball, and it’s like he’s holding the world in his hand.
Bernie Borges [00:21:53]:
Right.
Phil Gerbyshak [00:21:53]:
It is the coolest picture of all time. He’s 5 years old and just he’s got the glove and it’s just awesome. One of my favorite memories of all time.
Bernie Borges [00:22:03]:
Yeah. Yeah. That that’s amazing.
Phil Gerbyshak [00:22:05]:
And I look forward to making more.
Bernie Borges [00:22:07]:
Yeah. I think one of the things that if I was in your shoes doing this substitute teaching, I would probably not struggle. I’m trying to find the right words here in the moment in this podcast recording. Not struggle, but sort of anticipate what happens if I make a connection with a kid, like, just a special connection where the kid makes a connection with me, and then I make the connection. But I’m substituting, so I’m not there the next day or the next day or the next day. And I don’t know if that’s gonna happen to you, but I would imagine that that might be something kinda challenging. I know I I would struggle with that.
Phil Gerbyshak [00:22:44]:
Yeah. Well, I I will tell you, 1st graders are very huggy. They’re very happy to see teachers. Well, yesterday, I had such a connection. I had a little guy that came up, and he took my arm and put it around him and wanted a big hug. You know? When that when we’re when I’m walking him you know, when we walked in from recess, when we walked out for recess, when I walked him to his bus, and I was just like, this is you know, it gives me chills to talk about with him because it is really cool. Now that the, you know, the the good part slash bad part of that is every day for me right now is a new day to make a new connection. And I just kinda have to release the old ones and, hope that I had a good impact on them with the kids that I was with and the time that we had.
Phil Gerbyshak [00:23:30]:
And off we go. I mean, that’s really all I can do. I can’t expect a lot of depth in these relationships as a substitute. I just have to be present with them and just love more they are and really want the best for them. And that’s the teacher that they have. So I know that their teachers care for them. So I just I I get to be there for one day or one hour to be present with them. And that but it is hard, especially for me, Bernie, to your point, as someone who really values relationship, oh, boy.
Phil Gerbyshak [00:24:04]:
Yeah. It is hard. It is difficult.
Bernie Borges [00:24:06]:
Yeah. There’ll be a moment one day, even as a substitute teacher, because you are a special human being, Phil, that you will have an impact on kids. Even as a sub, where you’re not there every day, you will have a moment one day. This moment that I’m about to describe is gonna be so meaningful to you. That moment will be a kid with his or her parents at a at an event somewhere. It could even be in the neighborhood. You’ve run into them at the grocery store or something. And the parent says, thank you.
Bernie Borges [00:24:41]:
You have or are making an impact on my child. Let me tell you, that talk about goosebumps. That will be a moment you’ll never forget, and you’ll cherish it. And that’s gonna happen. Yeah.
Phil Gerbyshak [00:24:57]:
I look forward to that, Bernie. Hasn’t happened yet, but it’s only been a couple of weeks. Yeah.
Bernie Borges [00:25:00]:
It’s only
Phil Gerbyshak [00:25:01]:
been a couple of weeks. I know it will.
Bernie Borges [00:25:04]:
Well, Phil, I love your story, and I love catching up with you here in this podcast setting. Before we wrap up here, if anybody listening wants to connect with you, what’s a good way for anybody to connect with you?
Phil Gerbyshak [00:25:16]:
Sure. Well, you can find me on LinkedIn. That’s really the easiest way. If you can spell Gerbischak, you can find me. It’s on the screen, but easy for you. Gerbyshak. I’m the one with about 15,000 connections. You can find me on LinkedIn or or you can go to happyafnow.com.
Phil Gerbyshak [00:25:33]:
Check out my newsletter, listen to my podcast, and, see what I’m up to there. I publish new content every Monday Friday. And then in between there, I publish a podcast or 2.
Bernie Borges [00:25:44]:
Fantastic. Well, fill my listener knows that all that will be linked up in the show notes so it’s easy for them to swipe and find it. It’ll all be linked up right there. Phil, thank you so much for joining me on this episode of the Midlife Fulfilled podcast, a BF to AF episode.
Phil Gerbyshak [00:26:01]:
Thanks for having me, Bernie.
