Ep 149 How Unconscious Fulfillment Can Lead to a Joyful Life

Bernie Borges [00:00:00]:
Hello, my midlife friend. This is Bernie Borges, your host of the Midlife fulfilled podcast, and this is episode 149, a takeaway episode from my conversation with Tim Delaney on episode 148. You know the drill. On takeaway episodes, I summarize the Key discussion points from the previous episode, and then I hone in on 1 key takeaway that I wanna emphasize to you. And then I issue you a challenge to consider on this topic. With that said, I’ll begin by summarizing the key discussion points from my conversation with Tim Delaney on episode 148. Number 1, chasing fulfillment. Tim revealed that his pursuit of fulfillment was initially more about making a difference and having an impact rather than consciously chasing fulfillment.

Bernie Borges [00:00:52]:
And then recently, he realized the significance of the label fulfillment in that it encapsulates his lifelong journey. Number 2, embracing new opportunities. Tim’s story reminds us to listen to our inner voices as he says and to have the courage to take action even if it’s a little frightening in the beginning. Tim emphasized the importance of recognizing that life offers tremendous opportunities for all ages. And number 3, the power of nonprofits. Tim highlighted the significant value that nonprofits offer in fulfilling the 5 pillars of health, fitness, career, relationships, and legacy. He invited you, the listener, to explore the myriad opportunities to find fulfillment through engagement with nonprofit organizations. I wanna land on the 1st discussion point for my takeaway, and that is chasing fulfillment.

Bernie Borges [00:02:00]:
You see, I believe that the reason Tim didn’t think of his journey as chasing fulfillment stems from the soul level nature of fulfillment itself. I want to explain how I’m thinking about this. First, a focus on tangible goals. People often focus on concrete goals like career success, including titles, income levels, certain perks or status. And we generally care about making a difference. Tim, for instance, has been driven by a desire to help people who needed assistance navigating the sometimes unfair maze of the system, and I’m using air quotes around the system. The other way that I look at this is fulfillment as a byproduct. Fulfillment often comes as a byproduct of pursuing tangible goals.

Bernie Borges [00:02:54]:
It’s not always a conscious pursuit, but as Tim explains, fulfillment can emerge from actions that we take to benefit others. As Tim explained, He benefited from a scholarship that enabled him to go to college and then go to law school and embark on his career. Once he poured himself into doing work that benefited others as his way of paying it forward, he realized that this was very gratifying to him, and he realized fulfillment as a byproduct of his actions. Another way I look at this is a shift in perspective. Over time, Tim realized that the actions of others as explained in the previous point motivated him to help others. He credits a conversation with me, not that I’m taking any credit here, But he told me that a conversation with me lit a light bulb for him, and those are my words, not his words. But the light bulb was the understanding that his desire to help others gave him tremendous fulfillment. And he admits that fulfillment was not a label that he had previously used to describe how he felt.

Bernie Borges [00:04:12]:
So it was a shift in perspective. This leads me to my next thought, and that is redefining fulfillment. Tim came to realize that fulfillment is defined as a state of being that really encapsulates your life journey, which can certainly include professional achievements, but also can include the immutable sense of achievement that’s associated with doing good and helping others and experiencing personal growth in the process. And then my last thought on this is recognition and reflection. Tim’s realization came through reflection where he looked back and he recognized that his pursuit of specific goals was in essence a pursuit of fulfillment. Tim’s journey exemplifies this process of finding fulfillment as an unconscious pursuit that is realized only upon reflection and understanding of your life’s journeys. And I am convinced that the beauty of going through our midlife seasons is that we mature. We become aware of these transformations that we couldn’t otherwise understand in our twenties and thirties.

Bernie Borges [00:05:28]:
For most of us, this maturity occurs in our forties or fifties or sixties. It’s unique to each of us. So my challenge to you is this. Where are you in your pursuit of fulfillment? Is it conscious or unconscious? Have you reached the point of maturity where you understand what it means to experience fulfillment? Repeat that question in each pillar of your Midlife, health, fitness, career, relationships, legacy. How you answer this question for each pillar can offer you a compass for how you wanna spend your life doing the things that fulfill you in each of these pillars. Hey. Shifting gears just a little bit. I I wanna let you know that I am working on something that I’m gonna be announcing soon that will provide an opportunity for us to come together and discuss This topic in great detail with other midlifers in a community setting.

Bernie Borges [00:06:33]:
I’ll have more details on this soon, so stay tuned. Hey. I wanna thank Tim Delaney for joining me on episode 148 and sharing his story of personal fulfillment with me and with you. And I wanna remind you that you can watch my video recording with Tim Delaney on episode 148 on my Midlife fulfilled YouTube channel. And, of course, that’s linked up in the show notes page for this episode. My next guest episode features Joe Hoy. Joe is a male fitness coach who works exclusively with midlife women. Now that alone is not that unusual, But get this, Joe is 29 years old.

Bernie Borges [00:07:17]:
Joe has developed an expertise in helping midlife women get and stay in shape, and his clients love him. He’s obviously doing something right, so don’t miss this episode. Hey. If you’re a new listener, I wanna invite you to hit the subscribe button on your podcast player so that you don’t miss that next episode as well as future episodes. You know what time it is, my midlife friend? It’s that time when I remind you that if you’re 80% fulfilled, you’re doing great. And if you wanna know how I know this, listen to episode 100 where I explain. I’ll see you on episode 150. I’ll see you then.