Bernie Borges [00:00:01]:
David, welcome to the Midlife Fulfill podcast, a BF to AF episode.
David Goad [00:00:07]:
Bernie, it is my honor and, pleasure to talk with you today.
Bernie Borges [00:00:11]:
Thank you. Thank you so much. Well, David, you have had a decades a long corporate career, an illustrious career, a lot of it in technology. A lot of the roles that you had in corporate were on camera as well as off camera. And, I think what you wanna talk about today in your BF to AF is sort of that transition from many years in corporate to being on your own. So where would you like to pick up that story?
David Goad [00:00:42]:
Wow. Can I condense 5 decades into 5 minutes? I don’t know.
Bernie Borges [00:00:47]:
Oh, we we’ll we’ll go about 30. I’ll give you about 30.
David Goad [00:00:51]:
Yeah. Well, it’s I’ll I’ll give some of the highlights because, nobody’s interested in hearing my resume. They can go to LinkedIn and read that if they want. But, I think a significant thing had happened to me in my corporate career, which was roughly 30 years or so, is I was laid off three
Bernie Borges [00:01:09]:
times.
David Goad [00:01:09]:
Mhmm. Now in some parts of the world, in some industries, that’s a huge deal. In Silicon Valley, it’s pretty common. In fact, now it’s almost a badge of honor if you haven’t been laid off before. But I had 3 distinct reactions to those 3 different layoffs. The first one was just fear. Right? I was young family. I just I just have to get another job.
David Goad [00:01:35]:
I don’t care what it is. Who wants to pay me? Right? This is a fear response. Absolutely not looking for fulfillment or, you know, meaningful work or anything. I need a job. The 2nd time happened 5 or 6 years later, and the reaction was anger. Oh my god. It happened to me again? And how dare they? Right? And I wasted, like, 2 to 3 months wallowing and trying to figure out why. Why me? I was so angry.
David Goad [00:02:05]:
You know? But now I look in hindsight, that’s 3 months I could’ve spent searching.
Bernie Borges [00:02:10]:
Right? Right.
David Goad [00:02:11]:
Right. But the 3rd time, which was only 7 years ago, and I look forward to it. Well, I kinda smelled that it was coming. You know, when you when you call HR and ask if you can order new business cards and they say, I need to get back to you on that. And and I kind of knew I’d been there for a while. I was in one of the higher pay ranges, and I just kinda knew it could happen. But all my life, Bernie, I I I’ve been wanting to be a a speaker, coach, entertainer, emcee. It’s like I always volunteered to do those things even though it was never my day job.
David Goad [00:02:51]:
I was in marketing roles, you know, sales roles, program management, and you name it. All different types of work. Mhmm. But when the company picnic came around, who do they call to come out and do the team building games on the microphone. It was always me.
Bernie Borges [00:03:04]:
Right. The MC.
David Goad [00:03:06]:
The MC, the comedian, the, we need a webinar host. Get David. He’ll do it. And I can’t tell you how many times I heard this same phrase from friends at work. David, you missed your calling. Mhmm. You missed your calling. You missed your calling.
David Goad [00:03:23]:
You missed your calling over and over and over again, and I never picked up the call. Right? I just no. I gotta do this. I have this pressure. I have to work, and I don’t know if I can do that. And and so when it came to this this 3rd layoff, I saw it as opportunity. Okay. It’s time.
David Goad [00:03:40]:
I’m in my mid fifties at this point thinking, you know, if I’m gonna make a run at this, I better start running. And took the severance pay and made a commitment and decided I I was gonna make it
Bernie Borges [00:03:53]:
work. Okay. You said you’re there. You said well, you said you’re in your mid fifties. So are you still in that decade, or are you in the next decade yet?
David Goad [00:04:02]:
Oh, I am proud to say I just turned 62, Bernie.
Bernie Borges [00:04:05]:
Oh, right. Fantastic.
David Goad [00:04:06]:
I wouldn’t have proclaimed that in my corporate career because I don’t want you there’s actually a consequence to people thinking you’re too old. That’s best
Bernie Borges [00:04:13]:
they know about it. Is a real thing. There’s no question about it. We were talking before we started recording that, when I was in my fifties, I didn’t wanna talk about it either. And now that I’m in my sixties, I have age pride. So I think you you and I are aligned on that. So okay. So I think part of what I’m hearing, David, from your story, this BF to AF story, is that you knew you had this talent because you were using this talent, and it was well recognized by everyone that you you you work with in all different, you know, corporate settings.
Bernie Borges [00:04:45]:
And you were being told that you missed your calling. So at what point did you realize, like, okay. I have this calling. I maybe I should do something about it.
David Goad [00:04:55]:
Well, it’s interesting. It came from a nonprofit activity that I was doing, and some of your audience, I’m sure, has heard of Toastmasters.
Bernie Borges [00:05:03]:
Oh, yeah. I went to Toastmasters.
David Goad [00:05:06]:
Yeah. Like, it’s been 17 years since I joined. And I joined just because a friend invited me and said, oh, you’ll think this is fun. And I started speaking, and it it did help me, you know, get my game up to the next level. But what I accidentally discovered was I was also fairly good helping others do it too, like learning how to coach people. But it was in a nonprofit setting where people voluntarily come. They pay their, you know, $30 every 6 months to do this. It’s mostly just speaking and other people feeding back to you how you’re doing, and a lot of fearful people come to Toastmasters.
David Goad [00:05:40]:
Mhmm. So I listened and participated and learned from other coaches and joined in the contest and all this. And for 15 years, I was learning how to coach. I didn’t know that that’s what was happening. And so I get to this big epiphany, you know, when I’m I have an opportunity to start my own business. So, well, I love speaking, but I also love coaching. And I’m just gonna do both of these things and see what happens. And to this day, I’m doing both, but the coaching part of the business is the real money making part of the business for me, and, more importantly, it’s the most rewarding.
David Goad [00:06:16]:
I I get a big jolt out of getting on stage and making a laugh and delivering a message and motivating them to change their lives. I gotta tell you, Bernie, when you’re 1 on 1 with somebody in a Zoom meeting and they say, thank you for helping me overcome this paralyzing fear. I mean, that is that’s true transformation Mhmm. Versus entertainment. And I enjoy both, and I’ll continue to do both. But isn’t it interesting how all those years just serving in Toastmasters ended up becoming the thing that I got paid for later, which is maybe that’s encouragement to someone in your audience who’s thinking about, hey. I’m busting my butt, this nonprofit. I’m I’m organizing all these events.
David Goad [00:06:56]:
Well, someday you might have your own event planning business, and it’s because of that time you spent that you’re actually qualified to have the experiences to do it.
Bernie Borges [00:07:04]:
Speaking of that, David, do you ever look back on your on your years in corporate, your decades in corporate, and attribute things that you learned and grew and developed during those years in corporate that you’re able to apply now in your own business.
David Goad [00:07:20]:
Oh my gosh. How long do you how long do we have? Bernie, I’ll say yes, yes, and yes, mostly in all the mistakes I made. Right, and it’s a higher stakes place to make mistakes when it’s where you’re getting paid. Right? And and so it’s harder for people to take risks and and do things they haven’t done before. But that I remember that first time, there was a the person I knew within, big technology giant. I won’t use all the names, but he said, hey. We have this new role. We’re starting a talk show.
David Goad [00:07:53]:
It’s a launch a show that goes out to 18,000 salespeople worldwide, and someone recommended you might be a good host of the show. Have you done this before? And I gotta tell you without hesitation, I said, oh, yeah. I’ve done that. And after the meeting, I was like, oh my gosh. What did I just commit to? Because it was like it was like The Tonight Show for sales product launches. Right? And I had to be on a set with a 3 camera shoot, director talking in my ear, coaching people on the show. I had to produce the show, get the butts in the seats, help them write your script, it it was
Bernie Borges [00:08:30]:
That’s more than hosting.
David Goad [00:08:32]:
Oh, oh, way
Bernie Borges [00:08:34]:
more. So that was all on a corporate that was a corporate job.
David Goad [00:08:38]:
Yeah, internal position. Yeah. But this is again, the the the principle to follow here is say yes and then figure it out. And that had paid off for me up to that point. That was probably the biggest risk I took. But, you know, it took me 2 or 3 shows. I was starting to get the swing of it. And just like, you know, you’re you you go back, listen to your 1st podcast, I’m sure you’re cringing like, oh, I can’t believe that.
David Goad [00:09:01]:
But look at you now. Right? You have to start somewhere, move forward, and and learn. And during that 3 years of doing that show, I learned especially how to coach senior executives. Right? Much higher stakes, people with shorter attention spans, a lot more going on, bigger egos, and I was not only coaching them in the green room before they went on camera. I had to, like, direct them while I’m doing the interview. Right? It’s like you and me right now, we’re talking. And, you know, I I I learned little things like, nonverbal cues to give them when they were talking too long. So tell you what, I’m not gonna interrupt you when we’re in this live interview, but I’ll start agreeing with you, like, mhmm, mhmm, and that’s your cue to wrap it up.
David Goad [00:09:49]:
And those are little things you you can never learn without actually being on the job, trying it, doing it. And so that’s just one example to answer your question. I’ll tell you one other thing that I learned the most from. A lot of this is looking in the rear view mirror, of course.
Bernie Borges [00:10:02]:
Of course. Yeah.
David Goad [00:10:03]:
The most terrible bosses I had, the most awful bosses taught me the most. And and the reason was they were honest with me. They were directing me. They told me where I was screwing up, where I wasn’t good enough, where I needed to improve. And now looking back, I I didn’t like them. In that moment, in fact, I I like strong reactions to get me away from this toxic person, but now I look back. You know what? They were right. I needed to hear that.
David Goad [00:10:28]:
I’m glad I got that honesty. And for anyone listening today too, think about every situation, you’re either loving it or learning, but it’s one of the 2. Mhmm. And and don’t ever think anything is wasted time. Even when you get thrust in with someone you hadn’t planned to work with. Take it as an opportunity to improve yourself.
Bernie Borges [00:10:49]:
So with all of the experience you had in corporate, David, when you decided to actually go off on your own and do the speaking and the coaching, Did it did it give you the confidence to get go out there and do it? You know, that that transition from that last layoff, the third one. Right? 3rd time’s a charm, so to speak. And were you then at that point, were you just saying, okay. I’m ready. This is my time. I’m gonna go do this. I am full of confidence. I know I can do this.
Bernie Borges [00:11:19]:
I mean, was that what you were thinking?
David Goad [00:11:23]:
You you you’re asking me a tough one here because I I maybe I I did a little bit of the fake it till you make it. You know, I’m convincing myself. I talk to myself a lot. I even post things in social media that are, like, motivational statements that are really aimed at me. Meant for you. David, you need to take risk to your eyebrows.
Bernie Borges [00:11:42]:
And you think you’re the only person on the planet doing that, David?
David Goad [00:11:47]:
Exactly. I have to say, yeah, confidence because I’ve done it before. You know, a little bit. I’ve been on a big talk show. I’ve been on big stages. I I’d done a lot of things where I took the risk and it paid off. So I had that confidence, but I also had the the anxiety about not knowing exactly what my niche is. And a lot of entrepreneurs or first time entrepreneurs have the same thing.
David Goad [00:12:08]:
They’ll put up their website. They got, like, there’s 5 different things that I do. Well, every says no. Pick a lane. Specialize in one thing so people know you for that. Well, I don’t know what it is yet. So I’m gonna give a multiple choice question to the world. But, eventually, that did work because I started narrowing.
David Goad [00:12:25]:
Right now, it looks like people are asking for this. People want more of this. People love this. And so had I stopped and did the analysis paralysis. Like, oh, I’m not gonna get started till I know exactly what I’m gonna do. I would never have figured it out. It’s a lot more trial and error maybe than most people expect, and it’s scary to try new things and and and put yourself out there. And so so I was talking with a friend of mine who was an experienced consultant.
David Goad [00:12:52]:
He’d been doing it for a long time, and we were talking about this about 2 years in when I was starting to doubt, gosh. Did I really do this? Can I I’m not getting as much money as I wanted, and I don’t know what exactly I should be doing? So, David, starting your own business it’s like setting out into the desert knowing there’s an oasis a 100 miles away. And right about mile 50, you start thinking, I still have enough water to get back if I turn around now. And that’s you’re shaking your head, Bernie, because I you probably felt same thing. But Yeah. Yeah. Maybe I should retreat back to the safety of my tent and and where I knew the but if you keep going, you will eventually get if you’re putting in the hard work and asking for help I gotta tell you, I don’t I don’t know there’s any one magic formula to follow, but I’ll tell you there’s 1 thread that, goes through all the things that I’ve done. I always had a a servant attitude.
David Goad [00:13:48]:
Right? I’m just gonna help people whether they pay me or not. I’m gonna help people whether they don’t pay me enough. I’m gonna help people when they pay me a lot, and then I’m gonna give them even more than what they paid for. And that has brought a return just a hundredfold.
Bernie Borges [00:14:05]:
Mhmm.
David Goad [00:14:05]:
Mhmm. Even people I I for example, if friends lose a job, I coach them. No charge. Wait. Let’s do interview role play. I’ll look at your LinkedIn profile. We’ll work on your resume, but it’s really I’m I’m helping to give them encouragement and confidence in that, you know, coaching session. Mhmm.
David Goad [00:14:23]:
And and that again comes back to the charge I used to get out of Helping Toastmasters and all of that. So that’s that’s the thing I would recommend too is, carry a servant heart with you, and it’ll repay you in ways that you could never expect.
Bernie Borges [00:14:36]:
Yeah. Yeah. I agree, and I commend you for that, David. Now are you also coaching people whether it’s Getting paid or not getting paid, who are thinking about making the transition from corporate out onto on onto their own.
David Goad [00:14:53]:
You know, a a few friends that we’ve had conversation. I wouldn’t say that’s part of my wheelhouse or my offerings or anything, but I’m always happy to share what I’ve learned with other entrepreneurs. I belong to a mastermind group, and I just got a few friends I’ve worked with that we kept the relationship alive. And sometimes it’s just hey. I’ll post a video on LinkedIn once that when yeah. I tell you. This is another formula I work with. Because anytime we do a coaching session or have a good conversation with someone and they ask me a question that I have a reasonable answer to or I help them, I turn off the meeting, immediately fire up Zoom again, and I record a 2 minute video.
David Goad [00:15:32]:
Hey, everybody. I was just coaching somebody. They asked me this question. Here’s my tip, and boom. And that’s and then I post them in LinkedIn, put them on a YouTube page, but it’s really aimed at LinkedIn. And that has been the number one marketing tool for me. It’s just I’m sharing things that Mhmm. This person asked me about.
David Goad [00:15:52]:
There’s probably others who would ask the same question. And some of them kinda, like, have, you know, a couple 100 views. Some of them explode and go viral because, oh my gosh, you really hit a nerve. And that’s another, just a regular pattern that I followed that’s that’s helped out a lot. And, again, I’m just giving away free knowledge. I mean, here’s it’s something I think will help you. Yeah. And and and and the common response, you probably heard this too.
David Goad [00:16:17]:
I get a private message 2 years late. David, I’ve been watching your videos for over 2 years. Right. And I finally decided to reach out. Right? Because you never know who you’re really reaching, how much
Bernie Borges [00:16:28]:
you want. I’m very grateful. That’s why modern marketing, when you’re, an entrepreneur running your own service based business, The modern marketing strategy is to give away lots of value. Right? And for those that are saying, well, why give it away? Well, to your point, you know, that gets you out there. Right. My friend, Michelle b Griffin says put yourself out there, p y o t. So you’re putting yourself out there with value, And then there’s always gonna be those people who need help implementing the ideas, the practices, the strategies that you’re imparting for free. Right? But Mhmm.
Bernie Borges [00:17:06]:
People need help. So what are some speaking of free value, what are some of the issues that you you come across. When you’re coaching people on speaking, what are some of the common challenges that they have to overcome?
David Goad [00:17:19]:
Well, I coach in 2 different areas, people that are speaking on a stage in person and also on camera. And just before the pandemic, I decided consciously to focus on the on camera skills just because I had all this experience as a video producer, director, writer, talk show host. I said, I’m just gonna specialize on this. And then a few months later, the whole world goes on
Bernie Borges [00:17:44]:
camera overnight.
David Goad [00:17:44]:
Right. So for the past 3 years, honestly, it’s been Zoom workshops and 1 on 1 coaching on how to present on camera and all the the differences about that, how to connect, how to read the room when there’s no room, how to maximize your video presence, your voice, content, all the different areas around that.
Bernie Borges [00:18:05]:
You’re you’re
David Goad [00:18:07]:
gesturing on camera. Can you see this? And and people shouldn’t be boring or sound unenthusiastic, and they do because you get very casual in this. Yeah. So I do a lot of that kind of work of just getting the energy back into your presentation and so that people your audience will believe you if they believe that you believe it. Right. And that’s all that’s missing. And then also the on stage kind of classic training of using the stage and things like that. But it’s starting to come back, the in person events, and and people need both skill sets.
David Goad [00:18:40]:
So now I’ve even retooled my offerings to be very hybrid focused. Like, you know, how to how to succeed in both of those channels or environments. And, and so that’s it’s a lot of it’s getting good people to the next level. I also have people that are extremely fearful, hesitant, not confident. You know, those are little end up being little more like therapy sessions at first. Mhmm. Mhmm. And and then I also have the 30 year experienced salespeople who think they have nothing left to learn.
David Goad [00:19:12]:
And I’ll say, alright. Give me your pitch. And I just sit and listen and reflect back. Here’s what I love. Here’s a few things that might be distracting to your audience, and here’s some way to fix it. Mhmm. And by the end of every session, somebody comes away with something. Maybe it’s 1 little nugget.
David Goad [00:19:28]:
Maybe it’s 10, but it it it’s all rewarding to me. It’s almost like detective work, Bernie, I I love that. You know? Okay. See what people present with. It’s like a a therapist. I’m not a therapist, by the way. But patient sits down the 1st time. It’s like, well, what what are they presenting with? What are the symptoms? And then you have this Mhmm.
David Goad [00:19:47]:
Challenge to get to the real disease. And I’ve even had some moments where, you know, the truly fearful people, people that, like, avoid public speaking at all costs, I I have a favorite question that I ask. I say, do you remember the day that you decided you were not gonna be a public speaker. And they always have a story. It was a traumatic experience where they were embarrassed, shamed, mocked, or they had an authority figure in their life like a coach or a parent. You know, tell them they were unworthy and, you know, shut up and speak when you’re spoken to. Mhmm. There’s some deep trauma that people have that they’re still carrying with them that gets wired in.
David Goad [00:20:27]:
You know, when you’re a kid, a teenager trying to figure out your identity and people say, you know, your voice isn’t worthwhile, and they always have the story. They know the day that it happened. So once we get that kind of awareness of that alright. Alright. So you’re living with this. You feel the butterflies every time you’re called on stage. But if you were good at this, would it be worth it? Like, what let’s start talking about the benefits of you being able to communicate, sell your ideas Mhmm. Communicate better with your spouse, like, whatever it is.
David Goad [00:20:59]:
And they start, you know, and this stack started getting a little heavier and, like, okay. So I guess I just feel painful, but you’re right. I need to learn how to do it. And that’s the start then to really ask and dig into the details, and and what can I do, and how can I get better at
Bernie Borges [00:21:14]:
it? You know, you say you’re not a therapist, and I understand what you’re saying. I I understand what you’re saying, but there is an element of that that is very therapeutic to people. There’s an element of that that really helps people. You know, you talk about having a servant’s heart, a servant’s mindset. You are serving them way more, David, than just helping them speak. Right? You’re you’re helping them have a have greater impact in the relationships that they have just by being better communicators. You know, I’ve I’ve said for a long time, I’ve said that the hardest thing we do in life Is communicate. Mhmm.
Bernie Borges [00:21:54]:
And I say life, not work only or outside of work only. I’m talking life. The hardest thing we do is communicate. And so you are helping people communicate, and there’s an element of that. As I said a moment ago, that is therapeutic. So you while you may not have some certificate, you know, that’s that therapists have, just recognize a little self recognition, David, that you are offering some form of therapeutic service.
David Goad [00:22:28]:
Well, I thank you for that, Bernie. And you know what? That’s good for me too. And, honestly, as I get a charge out of it, like you said, I enjoy it. I I walk away feeling like that time was well spent. And that’s the kind of thing that you know, anybody setting out to start their own business wants to have an impact. I don’t think it’s most of the people I talk to, it’s not really about just making money. There are those who say, I I wanna I wanna have the yacht and the car and the thing, and they’re part of that whole self development, wealth driven strategy, and that’s all good. I believe in free will and choice.
David Goad [00:23:02]:
Go for it. But most of the ones I talk to, they wanna do something that they know is having an impact. Right? They know is making a difference in the world. And after spending 30 years in a corporate job where there’s times you’re like, why am I doing this? You know? Because even I just read an article today about instead of the, the quiet quitting, now the new thing is called a a bore app where people are just unfulfilled just just doing the job, put in the hours. I’m like, I did that. I did that at times in my career. And once you get into this stage of life, you don’t wanna waste time. Right? Yeah.
David Goad [00:23:38]:
And any any hour spent doing something that you hate is an hour that you can’t get back.
Bernie Borges [00:23:44]:
Yeah. Well, that’s why I started this podcast. That’s why I named it Midlife Fulfilled. I define midlife very broadly. It’s the longest span of our life, David. And so what you’re doing is you’re helping people, experience some level of fulfillment in in your life, and I I commend you for that. Any any closing thought in this entire conversation before we, we wrap it up?
David Goad [00:24:11]:
Yeah, yeah, I think it will add something because it’s also when when you leave your corporate job, whatever security and regular paycheck you have, you think about I have to replace that money. And a lot of people say, well, I gotta find my passion, and I gotta make money with my passion. Ideally, that’s fantastic. If you find the thing you’re really good at and you’re passionate about it, and you can make money doing it. Woah. That’s a nice you know, when all items on that list coincide, that’s beautiful. But it’s also possible to pursue passions that are purely volunteer, just giving, and let that be the thing that restores your energy for when you do the money making activity. Right? I think it’s okay to have 2 lanes even and split the time.
David Goad [00:24:53]:
Just don’t let the money making one overwhelm you or drain all of your energy, save something for the other. And the example is, my wife, retired from 30 years in in state service in California. She runs a dog rescue. German Shepherd Golden State German Shepherd Rescue .org if you find it. And there’s nothing more meaningful than getting dogs out of a shelter, saving their lives, finding new homes for them, and I do that activity with her. And I’ve also done a lot of fundraising for cancer research, which is running, you
Bernie Borges [00:25:24]:
know, seriously bad.
David Goad [00:25:26]:
Yeah. My brother is a a cancer survivor and, now finally remission after for 13 years. And and those those things take a lot of effort. I mean, it can be a full time job running a dog rescue and doing fundraising, but the time spent in that is a total recharge. It gets back to you. It doesn’t drain you. It takes your energy and then multiplies it and feeds it back into you. And that’s that’s something that keeps me going as well, you know, having the the day job.
David Goad [00:25:54]:
Just wanna throw that in for anybody thinking, hey. I I got to do one thing. Not necessarily. Having 2 that are complimentary is also good.
Bernie Borges [00:26:02]:
I’m glad you did. I’m glad you threw that in because, you know, I I take it full circle back to the fulfillment thing. Right? It just it gives us a sense of meaning and purpose and fulfillment, And, we all want that. We all want that. I think that’s something that we can all agree on. Right? We have things we don’t agree on. I think we can all agree on that. David, where would you like to, have my listener or audience just reach out and connect with you?
David Goad [00:26:30]:
Well, if you search on David Goad, g o a d, I’ll pop up in all the different platforms. I’m super active in LinkedIn and as well as, Facebook. And my website is davidgoadspeaks.com. And if I do programs for companies of all sizes, reach out if that’s interesting to you. Or if you just wanna chat, I would love to just connect on LinkedIn. Let’s do a Zoom coffee chat, figure out what each other, is up to, and and take it from there.
Bernie Borges [00:26:59]:
Fantastic. Well, my listener knows that all that would be linked up in the show notes page. So David, thank you so much for joining me on this episode Of the Midlife Fulfill Podcast Day BF TO AF episode.
David Goad [00:27:11]:
And, Bernie, thank you for bringing the message to the masses.
