Bernie Borges [00:00:00]:
James Early, welcome to the Midlife Fulfill podcast, a b f to a f episode.
James Early [00:00:07]:
Hey, Bernie. Thanks a lot for having me.
Bernie Borges [00:00:09]:
Well, thanks for being here. I’m looking forward to your fulfillment story. James, let’s begin where I always like to begin on BF to AF episodes, and that is what decade are you in?
James Early [00:00:21]:
I am in my sixties.
Bernie Borges [00:00:23]:
You’re in your sixties. Okay. Well, I’m in that same club. So we are members of the same club. Proud, proud members of that club. Absolutely. I might add. Yes.
Bernie Borges [00:00:33]:
Yes, indeed. Well, James, you are Mhmm. A bible teacher and a podcaster. And I know just a little bit about your story. I know you didn’t get there overnight, so I’m sure you’ve got a a story to share with us. Where would you like to to begin?
James Early [00:00:50]:
Well, I won’t go back too far, but, let’s say, about 30 plus years ago, when we got married and started having a family, we moved from New York City to Connecticut, and my wife was commuting. She had a great job in the city, and so I decided to be a full time stay at home dad. And here I was in my mid thirties, and, you know, you read in the newspaper about all these the 40 under 40 successful entrepreneurs and these guys that are in their mid thirties, same age as me, and their owners and CEOs of these big corporations in these companies, and they’re all in the newspaper. I’m thinking, here I am changing diapers, and I enjoyed my job. I love being with my kids. I learned to really appreciate all that a stay at home mom or any stay at home parent does. But there was not a whole lot of sense of fulfillment for me personally, career wise. I ended up going to a a stay at home dad convention in Chicago.
Bernie Borges [00:01:56]:
Really? I didn’t know there was such a thing.
James Early [00:01:58]:
Well, I don’t know if it still has been. See, when I started doing that, it was a kind of a new thing, and I would I’d go to the park with my daughter, and all the moms would look at me like I was gonna assault their children. And and now it’s no big deal. There are lots of stay at home dads. It’s perfectly normal, but when I first started and I didn’t know anybody in my town anyway. So I went to this convention and I came home and I realized, you know, okay. I could be in those positions, but I’m gonna make this job of being a stay at home dad. That’s gonna be my career right now.
James Early [00:02:32]:
And if I ever go out and apply for job, I’m gonna put that on my resume. Like, that was the you know, you can imagine all the skills needed for that kind of those are very good important skills Mhmm. And a wide variety. So that was my first step in really, finding a sense of fulfillment for what I who I was and what I was doing as far as practical things instead of just, you know, in my head. Because when in our heads, we think we’re great or we think we’re terrible. But this gave me a real first step in really valuing what I had to offer.
Bernie Borges [00:03:08]:
So James, I’m curious and tell me if I’m getting too personal here. But, how were the conversations between you and your wife around that topic? Around the topic of you being a stay at home dad and the point you just made here, which you’re sharing openly, right, on a podcast that you weren’t terribly fulfilled in the beginning from a career standpoint. Did you actually have conversations about that?
James Early [00:03:33]:
Well, we did, and she was incredibly grateful. My wife was incredibly grateful for me being there because we wanted at least one of us to be with the kids. She was also a little jealous because she had
Bernie Borges [00:03:45]:
to
James Early [00:03:45]:
run off to the city all the time, and she didn’t get as much time to spend with them when they were little like that like I did. So, yeah, we had conversations and so we had to have different division of labor around the house and and that has changed over the years as, you know, things change. But it it was, she it would the the probably the hardest thing in all that was, she would come home tired from working in New York City all day, and the commute is like an hour and a half at legacy, each way. So that’s 3 to 4 hours almost just on the train every day. And then she didn’t want to hear about my struggles so much because she I wish she did, but she was too tired to deal with it sometimes. Yeah. Or she’d have to go do work. And so it really we kind of switched our roles from the kind of the traditional, you know, the stay at home mom and the dad come homes and all that stuff.
James Early [00:04:37]:
But we worked it out. We worked through it. And, she was very supportive of me in every way she could be. So
Bernie Borges [00:04:44]:
Okay. So did you reach a point where you did begin to make a transition, as the the kids got older? Or
James Early [00:04:53]:
Yeah. I did. There was a time where I started selling a set. We ended up homeschooling our kids, and so my wife had changed jobs. She wasn’t working in the city. She was working out of the home, and so she was homeschooling the kids, and I started selling a line of, children’s educational books and, Usborne Books at Home. And I did so well that I had to quit because I didn’t have time to take care of my kids, But I got a taste of, oh, you know, I I have these skills. I can do these things.
James Early [00:05:27]:
That gave me another step of confidence. And then I really kinda wasn’t needed at home once the kids got older and so I tried some things. I I worked for a landscape architect, really high scale landscape architect, but I realized I like working in my yard. I’ve always loved gardening, but I didn’t necessarily like to do it for everybody else. And so but I learned a lot of people skills there because, you know, dealing with customers and all that stuff.
Bernie Borges [00:05:54]:
And how old are your kids now?
James Early [00:05:57]:
Oh, my kids now are 32, 29, and 27. Okay. So they’ve been So they’re from they’re on their own. Yeah. Totally. They’re they’re on their own. They’re all doing their own thing, independent, paying their way. It’s great.
James Early [00:06:10]:
Yep. Yep. So Same as that talk about talk about fulfillment. That feels good.
Bernie Borges [00:06:17]:
Right. Right. Well, I often say that fulfillment is immutable. And immutable means that it’s permanent. It can’t be taken away. So that fulfillment, even if you’re having a bad day, James, that fulfillment that you’ve achieved, you and your wife have achieved with your 3 adult children, that is immutable fulfillment. And and I I share that. I’ve got 2 adult children.
Bernie Borges [00:06:39]:
It’s weird to call them children. Right? And they’re 33 and 27. And and likewise, you know, very proud of them. And they have kids of their own. And so it’s it’s a it’s a wonderful thing. So, let’s keep the story going because I know where you are now even though, you know, I don’t know a lot about what you’re doing now, a little bit. So how how did that life transition evolve for you?
James Early [00:07:04]:
Well, so I’ve been working for this landscape, 2 different landscape architects actually for about a year, and I realized I’ve gotta do something else that just wasn’t that wasn’t fulfilling me. I mean, I love gardening, but it wasn’t fulfilling to me career wise. And so I saw an ad in the newspaper for voice learning how to do voice over work, voice acting. And they say, oh, make 100 of 1,000 of dollars, you know, in your pajamas, recording in your in your closet. And so I took some classes. I made a voice over demo, and I worked pretty hard at it. I had a coach, and I was had some pretty good clients, local clients as well as some national clients. And at some point and that’s why you can see those of you who are watching this, on YouTube, I’ve got a nice little recording studio, and that’s what, where that came from.
James Early [00:07:56]:
I love this. But at some point, I realized I am telling somebody else’s story. I’m telling I’m trying to sell somebody else’s product or train them, train their company with some new insurance policy or whatever. It’s like, I have a message in there to get out. It in tandem with that, about the same time, this is in the fall of 2,008, someone asked me to help them teach a bible study class at a local prison. Actually, it’s a federal correctional institution in Danbury, Connecticut. And so I started going out there every week, and I’ve been doing it since then. And the more I was out there teaching just Bible stories, I’m not trying to whop anybody over the head with the bible, but I’m just trying to share the stories.
James Early [00:08:42]:
How do these stories relate to you and me today is what I’d say to the the people in the class. And so I developed some teaching styles, some, bible study skills, some some ideas, that were really health, and the women would say to me, oh my gosh. You have restored my faith in God. Well, I didn’t personally do it, you know. They were there. They were engaging with these these stories in the Bible. I would just ask questions and share ideas, and I wouldn’t tell them what to do. I would just say, let’s talk about this.
Bernie Borges [00:09:15]:
Mhmm.
James Early [00:09:15]:
And so the more I did that, I realized I have something to offer. And so when this voice over thing was sort of not really satisfying me, and more I realized I have a message. So that’s when I started my podcast, which is called the Bible Speaks to You. That was in the fall of, let’s see, 2019. And I’ve been doing that now for, just over 4 years, and it’s interesting how all these other things I’ve done. I mean, my first job when I was a kid, I had a paper route. When I was, you know, in 7th grade, I learned how to, you know, go and knock on the door and sell sell a subscription or go and collect money. So I was and I’ve been in sales, lots of different sales things.
James Early [00:09:55]:
And then I did the voice over work and all these different things, and they seemed like they were all unconnected. Very incongruent. But when I got to where I am now doing the podcast and the bible teaching, everything fell into place. And all these skills that seemed unrelated kind of all have come together to help me be where I am now. So I feel so on purpose of what I’m doing. I I feel my calling coming out. I feel like this is what I’m really meant to be doing. You know, you think, why why couldn’t I figure this out 30 years ago? But I wouldn’t have had the I wouldn’t have had the life lessons and the wisdom and the experience and the maturity to do it.
James Early [00:10:37]:
Yeah. Yeah.
Bernie Borges [00:10:39]:
James, I can so relate because there’s so many things in my past as well that looking back at the time, it never really felt like there was a purpose or it would be somehow connected. But to your point and I also I don’t know if I told you this in our previous conversations that I also did voice over work. I also
James Early [00:11:00]:
Oh, no. You didn’t.
Bernie Borges [00:11:01]:
I didn’t tell you that. Yeah. Got a coach.
James Early [00:11:04]:
Who was your coach?
Bernie Borges [00:11:07]:
John, Burr. John Burr.
James Early [00:11:09]:
Yeah. Oh, I don’t know him.
Bernie Borges [00:11:12]:
He was brutal in a good way. In a good way. He was very he’s a disciplinarian. He he taught me a lot. No. No. I I I I think highly of him and speak highly of him. When I say he was brutal, I mean that in a positive way.
Bernie Borges [00:11:24]:
Anyway, I digress. The the point I’m getting at is the voice over training that I did and like you, I did work. I did probably 50 or 60 paid voice over jobs. Right?
James Early [00:11:36]:
Cool.
Bernie Borges [00:11:37]:
But I also, like you, wasn’t fulfilled because they were all different. They’re, you know, ranging from a to z in terms of businesses and industries, and they’re all different. However, I can definitely attest to the the training that I got and the experience that I got in voice over actually has contributed to me in podcasting. In in kind of a weird way that unless you’re a podcaster like you, you don’t really understand that. Right? But anyway, okay. Enough about me. We’re here to talk about your fulfillment story. So I wanna dive deeper into that.
Bernie Borges [00:12:13]:
You just met you met just mentioned a moment ago that you kinda found your purpose, your calling, that sort of thing. You mentioned how all the the pieces, you know, kinda fit together, connected from from the past. So what’s that doing for you now? Give us some insight into, you know, how you’re feeling from a fulfillment standpoint and how that’s driving you to do what you’re doing.
James Early [00:12:36]:
I I love that question, Bernie. And I’m gonna answer it kind of a sideways. I don’t know if you’re familiar do you know who John Lee Dumas is?
Bernie Borges [00:12:44]:
Oh, of course. Yeah. JLD.
James Early [00:12:47]:
JLD. I love him. I was in a voice over online conference summit kind of thing during the pandemic, and he said something, and I’d heard him say this before and I had heard other people say it before, but I was ready to hear it then. He said, what is the one thing that you can do better than anybody else in the world? And, of course, that could get a little egotistical, but the point was, what is the thing that you wanna do the very best at and be known for? And all the minute he said that it clicked because I had been in this whole process I was describing in my bible study and all that stuff. I had come across a place where Paul says in one of his letters, it’s in to the church in Corinth. He says, we have the mind of Christ. And so if you’re listening now and you’re familiar with the Bible, that’s kind of a big deal because usually we think that’s way off in the future that we can be so, you know, thinking like Jesus. And I thought, oh, so I I had this phrase, what’s it like to have the mindset of Jesus? What if we could think like he did? What if we could act? What if we could love the way he did? I mean, he look at all the people he helped because he loved them.
James Early [00:14:03]:
He had compassion on them. He knew right from wrong, but he still loved people even if they were making a mess of their lives, and he helped them in ways that, were pretty amazing. So when JLD said that, I thought that’s what I want to focus on is, living and embracing living with and embracing the mindset of Jesus. And so that really has given me a sense of fulfillment because I know specifically now, like, in my podcast, I don’t mention it every episode, but I talk about it a lot because I’m I want people I don’t want people to just copy me or even copy Jesus. I want them to understand how he’s thinking. What how was he able to love people so much? How was he able to say things like love your enemies? I mean, that’s pretty hard. Yes. Yeah.
James Early [00:14:53]:
Sometimes, you know. Forgive. How what does that mean to forgive? And so, anyway, that that has given me a real sense of fulfillment because as I’m now then sharing that idea with others, and this is more answering your question directly, is fear fulfilling when somebody health when your light bulb goes off and then somebody else hears the podcast and they write and say, I got an email just a a week or 2 ago. Somebody said I don’t remember what episode it was. They said, it shifted my paradigm in the way I think about things. Wow. That’s very rewarding when you feel like, okay. I know I have something valuable, but when it when somebody else gets it and I had a a call with a guy today just this morning.
James Early [00:15:40]:
We were he had found something on my website, and we he got in contact. We talked for an hour, and it was just so rewarding to be able to share ideas that were very helpful to him. Mhmm. And that are practical. He can go out and, you know, so the kinda two levels of fulfillment for me. 1, having it means something to me personally. But I think, you know, when you can share I mean, even if if you had a great browning recipe, you know, and you shared it, you’d feel like, hey. I people really appreciate that.
James Early [00:16:10]:
It’s when it’s a little more significant than just a browning recipe, you feel like you’ve made a difference in someone’s life. And, that’s kinda where the
Bernie Borges [00:16:17]:
Yeah.
James Early [00:16:18]:
Yeah. And so that to me is that’s just sort of two levels of fulfillment there because I don’t wanna just be saying the words and helping somebody else, and it it has it has to be true. I have to find it true for myself as well. Or really before I can help somebody else. I don’t wanna be that just talking head that doesn’t believe what I’m saying, you know.
Bernie Borges [00:16:39]:
So let me let me share this thought. So, I have been a student of the bible for, roughly 3 decades. Been a church goer for about that long. Didn’t start until my my, early to mid thirties, by the way. I was not a believer. I was not a church goer in my youth, in my childhood. None of that. I started in my thirties.
Bernie Borges [00:17:01]:
And I think the thing that when I came across you and your approach that really resonated for me was the word mindset, James. The fact that you are speaking about the mindset of Jesus. And I think for, you know, I’m gonna I’m gonna loosely define 2 types of listeners on this topic. 1 might be someone like me who’s a bible student of the bible and a church goer, and and then the other one who’s not. Right?
James Early [00:17:30]:
And Right.
Bernie Borges [00:17:31]:
And I think for either person, that concept can really resonate. Like, what what was the mindset of Jesus when he when he when he was with us in in flesh. Right?
James Early [00:17:44]:
To your Right.
Bernie Borges [00:17:45]:
And and I have to I have to also share this kinda as a as a follow on thought. I just recently watched the movie, the book of John. And I and I recommend that movie to anybody whether you’re a believer or not, because it it of the 4 gospels in the bible, it is to me the most compelling of the 4. Not to say that the other 3 are, you know, not compelling. But you you get the idea.
James Early [00:18:09]:
Yeah. It has a different flavor. Yeah.
Bernie Borges [00:18:11]:
Yeah. Yeah. And and the movie, I think, is great even for people who don’t know Jesus. I mean, there are a lot of people who don’t know Jesus, the history, the lineage, really, you know, who he was when he was here in body. So again, I come back to, I think you’re really onto something, James, by just approaching it from the standpoint of mindset. So unpack that a little bit more for us.
James Early [00:18:33]:
Oh, gosh. Well, I’ll put a plug in for my podcast. When you if if any of your listeners are interested in signing up for my podcast, when you subscribe on my website, and don’t just listen on Apple Podcasts or something, I’ll send you a little collection of Bible verses I put together that talk about Jesus’s mindset. And one of the most important ones is, actually, he started his ministry saying this phrase, the kingdom of heaven is at hand. He said, I’ve got good news. That’s what the word gospel means. I’ve got good news. The kingdom of heaven is at hand.
James Early [00:19:11]:
It’s not just way off in the future after you die. It’s right here, right now. Now, you can’t see it with your eyeballs. You can’t hear it with your ears. It’s a spiritual thing and you have to perceive it spiritually. It it it it’s something that you you well, that God reveals to you and you have to change he says the word repent, and a lot of times you hear that word, oh my gosh, you know, repent, like you’re a miserable sinner. But it actually means the word repent in Greek means to change the way you think, to change your perspective. I would say now in this word, to change your mindset.
James Early [00:19:46]:
Because if you think, well, most Christians think, oh, the kingdom of heaven, that’s where everything’s perfect and wonderful, but they think it’s way off in the future. Jesus said it’s here. Mhmm. I think that was the, you know, if we can accept the good that’s here, that you may not even know or see or but it’s if you can accept that there infinite possibilities for good right now, whether you’re a Christian or not. Those possibilities that that kingdom of God’s love is here right now. And I think to me, the more I see that, the more I can feel that myself, the more I can share it with others. And, I mean, I could talk all day about the mindset of Jesus, so
Bernie Borges [00:20:28]:
I’ll try
James Early [00:20:28]:
to stop right there.
Bernie Borges [00:20:30]:
That’s a great point. So do you know the shortest verse in the Bible?
James Early [00:20:36]:
Yes. It’s Jesus wept.
Bernie Borges [00:20:39]:
You’re exactly right.
James Early [00:20:40]:
John yeah. John chapter 11 and everybody thought he was sad that Lazarus had died, but he knew that he was gonna actually raise him from the dead. I think he was I think he was weeping because he was I think they were tears of gratitude that he knew that God was gonna answer his prayers. But
Bernie Borges [00:20:59]:
Well, I don’t know that that’s why I think he wept. I think he wept as an example, an intentional example, that he also he walked this health as a human. So he experienced the things that we experience, which includes emotion and sadness and pain and joy. And and so in that verse, and in the movie, the book of John, of course, you know, because they’re showing the character Right. And the character of Jesus showed him weeping. And and so to me anyway and and as you know, oftentimes the word living word is used to describe the bible so that it can speak to you. It might speak to you a little bit differently than me. That’s how it spoke to me, James.
James Early [00:21:46]:
That Mhmm.
Bernie Borges [00:21:47]:
That he was demonstrating that he was human as well as deity, but he was also human. So he wept in that moment. And you and I know because we read it in the gospel of John that he does restore Lazarus. He brings him back from from his death. But in that moment, he wept. And I think it just it gave us the mindset of he experienced, and he knows what it’s like for us to experience grief and pain and and all of that. That’s how I interpreted that.
James Early [00:22:24]:
You know, and and that’s cool. I think, well, that’s one reason I call my podcast, the Bible Speaks to You. It’s not what what not what James Early says the Bible says. It’s like, how does it speak to you? And it says different things. Amen. We we get out of it what we need. I think there’s a basic message there, of course, but even even it says something different to me, a week later because I need something different. And God can say lots of things in lots of different ways.
James Early [00:22:52]:
So
Bernie Borges [00:22:53]:
Yeah. Yeah. So, I know that you also, go out on the road and do some speaking and coaching and that sort of thing. And I’m not here to to plug your business, but I’m just I I wanna know, from a fulfillment standpoint, how how do those pieces of your your life puzzle fit together? Again, we’re not here to plug your business, but I do wanna know how well
James Early [00:23:13]:
it’s Health, again, like, not this last summer, but the summer before I was down in California, and I gave a 3 day workshop on the bible, and then I gave the next, the day after that, I had, like, just a 2 hour quick talk, kind of a workshop for 2 hours on how to pray with the mindset of Jesus. And I enjoy being in front of of a group. I mean, you know, when I have something important to say. But, again, the fulfillment of it was people really appreciate it. 1 guy in the 3 day workshop said, you changed the way I see the Bible. You you made it alive. You made it come alive. You made it meaningful.
James Early [00:23:56]:
You made it so I could relate to the stories to my life, and that just feels really good. So that those kinds of things really and the coaching as well, You know, when a client says, oh my gosh. That makes all the difference. And they they practice some of the ideas we talk about in their lives. It it it it’s very rewarding. I mean, you can’t stop there, you know, because 3 days career, it’s like, okay. Now what’s next? But, it it’s it’s a stepping stone to realizing I have something valuable to share, and it’s wonderful when I connect with someone that’s, you know, that’s ready for what I have to share or we’re on the same page. You know how that kind of thing goes.
James Early [00:24:40]:
Yeah. Yeah. I I I hope that answers your question.
Bernie Borges [00:24:43]:
Yeah. And I I think one thing that I also appreciate about your style, and I think this is probably something that makes you very effective, James, is that, as you said earlier, you’re not out there beating anybody over the head with a Bible. You’re simply sharing stories from the Bible and having conversations about it And, just really allowing people to understand, as you say, the the mindset of Jesus and and how the bible can can speak to you. So I commend you for what you’re doing, James. And I I love how all the pieces have come together for you in your life in terms of your your your history and and all that. So, this time together flies by. So I’m gonna invite you to tell our listener where they can you’ve already kind of alluded to it, where they can connect with you and just learn more about what you’ve got going on.
James Early [00:25:33]:
Oh, well, thanks, Bernie. And let me say how much I appreciate having this opportunity to to have this chat with you. I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you. And, for those of you listening or watching on YouTube, the best way to get a hold of me is on my website, and I I’ve created a special, page just for you. It’s the bible speaks to you.comforward/fulfilled, and you’ll know that that comes from the title of, Bernie’s show. And on that page, I just have a few resources. You it says replace to sign up for the my podcast if you’d like to. There’s a place.
James Early [00:26:14]:
I’ll have a a kind of a curated playlist of and I’ll I’ll I’ll put the the I have a curated playlist of previous episodes I’ve done on the podcast that talk about the mindset of Jesus. So whether that’s something that, that’s a new idea to you or maybe it’s something you’ve thought about before, I think you’ll find at least 1 or 2 of those episodes. They’re about 12 of them altogether that that you might be interested in. And then there’s the place if you’re interested in really going deep into the mindset of Jesus, I do, coaching. I call it Jesus mindset coaching. And it’s not life coaching, it’s not business coaching, it’s just how to really think and pray and love like Jesus did. And, it’s it’s been it’s a pretty powerful program. So, anyway, the bible speaks to you.comforward/fulfilled, and that’s the best way to get a hold of me.
James Early [00:27:11]:
And and, you know, if you have any questions or comments, I’d love to hear from you. I’d love to hear, if if there’s any any, thing that comes up from our our chat with my chat with Bernie. I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Bernie Borges [00:27:24]:
Well, thank you, James. My listener knows that, that’s gonna be linked up in the show notes for this episode. So James, thank you so much for joining me for this episode of the Midlife Fulfill podcast, a BF to AF episode. I’ve enjoyed our conversation immensely, and I look forward to continuing it offline.
James Early [00:27:43]:
Hey. Thanks so much. Great to be with you.
