Bernie Borges | Host | Midlife Fulfilled Podcast

Ep 151 Embracing Unexpected Events Can Lead to Finding Purpose in Midlife

Embrace unexpected moments even if they may seem unpleasant at first, as they could be meant to be. Those moments might be what you need to find purpose.

In the Midlife Fulfilled podcast, I delve into discussions about midlife, fulfillment, personal growth, and finding purpose. The previous episode 150, featured a conversation with Joe Hoye, a 29-year-old fitness coach specializing in helping midlife women achieve sustainable fitness and weight loss. In this takeaway episode, I summarize and explore the key discussion points from this episode and hone into the concept of embracing unexpected moments in our lives, reflecting on them, and finding fulfillment in midlife.

In this takeaway episode, I discuss the takeaways from the previous episode with Joe Hoye on episode 150.

Here are the key discussion points with Joe:
1️⃣ Science-based Experience.
2️⃣ The Challenges of Midlife Women.
3️⃣ Personalized Coaching.

Joe’s initial plan was to offer fitness coaching to anyone interested in discovering how he lost weight and got fit. To his surprise, only women over 40 showed up. He realized that the science-based experience he received in the OBGYN hospital unit where he worked happened for a reason. He was very qualified to help midlife women lose weight and get fit.

When we reflect on life’s unexpected moments, even when they are deeply disappointing and contrary to our plans, it often turns out that these moments can ultimately lead to finding purpose.

My challenge to you is to embrace these moments, even if they may seem unpleasant or unsettling at first, as they could be meant to be. Those moments might be what you need to find purpose.

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Episode Transcript

Bernie Borges [00:00:00]:
Hello, my midlife friend. This is Bernie Borges, your host to the Midlife Fulfill podcast. Hey. This is episode 151, a takeaway episode from episode one fifty, my conversation with Joe Hoy. On takeaway episodes, as you know, I summarize the key discussion points from the previous episode, And then I hone in on 1 key takeaway that I wanna emphasize to you. Then I issue you a challenge to consider on that topic. With that said, I’ll begin by summarizing the key discussion points from my conversation with Joe Hoy on episode 150. A reminder, Joe Hoy is a 29 year old man whose expertise is coaching midlife women to sustainable fitness and weight loss.

Bernie Borges [00:00:45]:
Our key discussion points included the following. Number 1, science based experience. Joe’s passion for fitness stemmed from his own journey with weight gain and weight loss, which began for him at age 13. He found success through his research and trial and error. His career experience as a surgery assistant in OB GYN and his acquired knowledge of women’s health issues contributed to his expertise and health coaching for midlife women, especially those women going through menopause. Number 2, the challenges of midlife women. Joe discusses the common challenges that are faced by midlife women in their weight loss journeys, and he emphasizes the impact of stress, misconceptions about weight loss, lifestyle management, as well as the importance of mindset in achieving sustainable fitness and health goals. And number 3, personalized coaching.

Bernie Borges [00:01:43]:
Joe emphasizes the value of personalized 1 on 1 coaching and helping women navigate the complexities of their health and fitness goals. He shares success stories of clients who achieve significant weight loss and lifestyle improvements through tailored coaching that addresses their unique circumstances, challenges, and preferences. So where I wanna land from my takeaway is sort of a hybrid of these 3 key discussion points. But first, I’ll take you back to the early part of Joe’s story. After he successfully lost weight and gained muscle tone, and he looked and he felt fit and healthy. People in his local community noticed. At the time, He was working as a surgery assistant in the OBGYN unit of a local hospital. This day job gave Joe an education in women’s physiology and health, especially women that were experiencing menopause.

Bernie Borges [00:02:42]:
Now back to Joe’s own fitness journey. His entrepreneurial spirit motivated him to offer a challenge to his local community to discover how he lost weight and got fitness to teach others how to do it. So he was expecting men to respond to this challenge. Instead, all the people who responded and signed up for this challenge were women over 40. This surprised Joe, but he realized that he had the know how to help these women. Well, Not only did he help them greatly in this challenge, he had a great experience doing it. You see, Jill realized that He didn’t find this demographic, namely women over 40. They found him.

Bernie Borges [00:03:31]:
This is Joe’s calling at least at this phase of his life at age 29. Joe admits that helping more than 2,000 women at this point is very gratifying, but not as much as helping women achieve weight loss and fitness health through 1 on 1 coaching. He says that the 1 on 1 coaching allows him to give each client the attention that they need to really help them achieve their goals. So for me, the big takeaway is this. When we go through life and things happen a certain way, sometimes they don’t make sense in the moment. Sometimes we wonder why a certain thing happened, like when Joe was selected to work in OB GYN even though his coworkers were women. Joe was the only man in the surgical assistant team. Yet for some reason, the women that he worked with suggested that he work in OBGYN.

Bernie Borges [00:04:28]:
This was a pivotal event for Joe. This happened for a reason. Joe embraced the science based education that he received from this experience, and he put it to work when he started coaching women for fitness and weight loss. Remember, his 1st experience coaching women was sort of an accident. He wasn’t expecting it, but it’s what happened. And he embraced it, and he excelled in the experience. Now it’s apparent that Joe’s clients appreciate him. He brings a good mix of his science skills.

Bernie Borges [00:05:03]:
He even says that he knows more about what their body is going through than they do, and he also brings his personal skills. He cares about his clients, and they know that about him. So my challenge to you is this, reflecting on your own life. Think back to a moment when something happened and you wondered about it. You asked, Why did that happen? Maybe you think it makes no sense. Maybe it was an unpleasant experience. Maybe it’s the opposite of what you planned or expected. Now if this event happened to you recently or it’s happening now, There’s a chance that the dust hasn’t settled in your life to answer the question, why is this happening? If this event happened a while ago, Maybe the dust has settled on the answer to the question, why? This situation that I’m describing can be in any area of your Midlife, including but not limited to your career.

Bernie Borges [00:06:01]:
For example, my daughter had applied for a job in a certain city a couple of years after graduating college. She had the inside track for this job, and it would have been a great job for her, but she didn’t get it. And, yes, She was disappointed. She ended up moving to a different city to accept a new job. After about 2 years, She accepted another job in another new city. And it was in this city that she met her husband, and they now live blissfully with our baby granddaughter. And if she had gotten that first job that I told you about, it’s unlikely plea that she would have ended up in the city where she met her husband. Some people call this serendipity.

Bernie Borges [00:06:46]:
Some call it the universe in action. I see it as God doing what he does in our best interest. So the next time something happens that you weren’t expecting, even if you don’t like it, consider that maybe, just maybe, It was meant to be this way. Embrace it. You never know what might come of it. Hey. Shifting gears a little. As I mentioned on the previous episode, I am working on something that I’ll be announcing soon that will provide an opportunity for a small group of us to meet twice per month in a community setting.

Bernie Borges [00:07:24]:
I’ll have more details on this soon, so stay tuned. Hey. I wanna thank Joe Hoy for joining me on episode 150 and sharing his story with me and with you. And I wanna remind you that you can watch my video recording with Joe Hoy on episode 150 on the Midlife fulfilled YouTube channel. It’s linked up in the show notes page. My next guest episode features Karl Honore. Karl is an international best selling author. His 1st book, In Praise of Slow, is about the slow movement as he calls it.

Bernie Borges [00:08:02]:
His latest book is titled bolder, making the most out of our longer lives, and we had a great conversation about both of these thought provoking six. Don’t miss this episode. And, hey, if you’re a new listener, I invite you to hit the subscribe button on your podcast player so that you don’t miss this episode as well as future episodes. You know what time it is, my midlife friend. It’s that time when I remind you that if you’re 80% fulfilled, you’re doing great. And if you wanna know how I know this, Listen to episode 100 where I explain it. I’ll see you on episode 152. I’ll see you then.

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