Bernie Borges [00:00:00]:
Clara Cappano, welcome to the Midlife Fulfill Podcast Day Maximum Episode.
Clara Capano [00:00:06]:
Oh, Bernie, thank you so much for having me. I am really excited to be here with you.
Bernie Borges [00:00:10]:
Well, thank you for being here. I’m really excited to to to talk with you. And I first have to begin our conversation by saying, I feel like I’m talking to a celebrity, Clara Cappano. I mean, that’s a that’s the name for a celebrity. I agree.
Clara Capano [00:00:22]:
I agree. I agree.
Bernie Borges [00:00:26]:
Well, you are an international speaker. You’re an award winning educator. You’re a best selling author, and you’re the host of the Working Woman Channel and Living Real TV. I love that. And you have clocked over 20 years in sales and leadership. And Career, you have a passion for providing women in business strategies that they can use to work with more intention and really just let them get back into the driver’s seat of of their life, as you like to say, and and allowing them to create harmony between their personal and their professional lives. And I think, by the way, as you know, men can use that as well. Right? So I think it’s something health, a lot of us can can achieve.
Bernie Borges [00:01:09]:
You call yourself an overachiever. You have your little backstory, and we’re gonna go there. But we’re gonna get to your clarity method, which I know you spell uniquely. We’ll get to that. So really what I’ve invited you here for today, Clara, is to talk about bringing clarity to balancing business and life. So let’s get to it, but let’s begin with your backstory. How did you even get there?
Clara Capano [00:01:34]:
Definitely. Well, you know, and as you said, both men and women, you know, struggle with this imbalance, and I think this is a lesson for everyone to take to heart. You know, we have been sold this bill of goods that doing more is better. And, you know, I am the quintessential overachiever achiever as many entrepreneurs out there are, you know, where it was all about checking off the boxes. How many titles can I get? I gotta have the fancy car because the more boxes I check off, the more everybody will know how successful I am. And then we start running on that hamster wheel. And even though we start feeling the lag, we start feeling, you know, that we are getting out of balance. We look around us and we say, but everybody else is living this way too, so I guess this is normal.
Clara Capano [00:02:20]:
And so the cycle continues, which is exactly what happened for me. But I can remember the main night. I went through 2 or 3 different cycles of this, and each time I went through it, it was the, you know what? I’ll just get back on the hamster wheel and just everything will be fine down the road. And then it was actually in February of 2,008 that the moment happened. The clarity moment happened.
Bernie Borges [00:02:48]:
Mhmm.
Clara Capano [00:02:48]:
I was at home doing some work on my computer, and my son, who happened to be about 3a half at this time, he was doing some of his plane. He was drawing a a picture, and he came over to me so proud to be able to show me this picture that he had drawn. And being that I was in my zone, I responded the way far too many of us respond. Health on one moment, sweetie. Mommy will get to that in a moment. Let mommy just finish her work. Now lucky for me, my son gave me the greatest gift of all, and he saved me. Because what he did is he put his hand on my computer and looked up at me and said, mommy, you’re not paying attention to me.
Bernie Borges [00:03:30]:
Mhmm.
Clara Capano [00:03:30]:
And it was in that moment that I had a decision to make. And was this going to be another episode of just continuing the way it was going to be, or was this going to be a moment where I didn’t just decide to change things, but I actually took the actions to get me to the other side? Because here I was with this child who was the most important relationship to me. And I couldn’t even show up for a moment to see a photo. So if I wasn’t showing up for him, I guarantee you I wasn’t showing up for any of my clients. And it just caused me this moment of awareness to be able to say, you know what? This is not who I really want to be. This is not the life. Because just as you state in the title of your show, I wasn’t fulfilled.
Bernie Borges [00:04:19]:
Mhmm.
Clara Capano [00:04:20]:
I was further away than the from this vision of who I wanted to become than I really had ever intended to be. And that’s sort of where the legacy method to success was born.
Bernie Borges [00:04:30]:
Okay. Well, thank you for sharing that backstory. And Clara, I have to tell you, when you told me about that moment where your son gave you that gift, I mean, I got chill bumps literally up and down my entire body. So I really felt the story. Literally felt
Clara Capano [00:04:45]:
it. I still feel it, and he’s 18 now, and it’s still every day. It’s a part of me every day to remind me.
Bernie Borges [00:04:51]:
Yeah. Yeah. That’s great. Now, you may or may not know that on the Midlife Fulfill podcast, I talk about 5 pillars. And those 5 pillars are health, fitness, career, relationships, and legacy. So as you embarked on this transformation that you just explained, were you focused mostly on career or this was this a transformation across your the entire spectrum of all your Midlife?
Clara Capano [00:05:17]:
Yeah. It was really across the entire spectrum. And listening to your pillars, all of those sort of came in. It was, again, reconnecting with my why to understand what is the message, what is the legacy, what is what do I wanna have people remember me by? It’s the the balance, and again, I don’t like that word balance. That’s why I really refer to the harmony about, you know, the actions and the living. And one of the things I really try to impart on the people that I work with and that I speak to is even when you’re sitting down and putting your schedule together, the very first thing that needs to go into your schedule is your life. The number one reason people don’t have a life is because they don’t plan their life. So I think, you know, bringing all of these things together is critical because, again, if you don’t have those pillars, the foundation will eventually crumble.
Bernie Borges [00:06:03]:
Yeah. Well, go ahead and walk us through your legacy model because you’ve clearly put a lot of thought into it, and you’ve documented it, and it’s got a name. It’s called the clarity model, and it’s spelled a certain way. So let’s hear it.
Clara Capano [00:06:14]:
It is. So the clarity success method is based off of my name. So it’s spelled clarat t y. And it’s funny because growing up, I hated my name growing up. I have 3 siblings, Lisa, Paul, and Amy, and they all have very common names. And growing up in the seventies eighties where everything was personalized, I could never have anything personalized. So I really just fought my name. But I think my parents knew what they were doing because it really has come full circle.
Clara Capano [00:06:44]:
And so when you break it down into these different areas, the c stands for clarity of vision. You need to know your why. You’ve gotta have that vision of what it is you are working towards because that’s what’s gonna motivate you, and that’s also the starting point because every decision you make has got to tie back to, if I do this, is it moving me towards my vision? So you’ve got to get that clarity of vision first. The L is all about leveraging time. You know, time is the great equalizer. It is the sum it is the one thing that everybody wants more of, but we cannot manufacture. So getting clear on not how are we spending our time, but how are we investing our time. So we are using our time to its highest and best use.
Clara Capano [00:07:29]:
Then we go into the a, which is all about identifying the actions we need to take. And again, not just on the career side, but the life side too. What are maybe the 6 to 10 things that you need to take action on consistently to help you create that vision? Because that’s where we have to invest most of our time. Then going into the R, as much as we take action, rest and recovery is critical because we cannot serve others. We cannot create that vision when we are depleted. So, understanding again the harmony between the action and then the rest of the recovery. Then we go into the second A, which is all about articulating your value. You know, money flows to value.
Clara Capano [00:08:15]:
Clients flow to value. People are attracted to value. So we have to start getting clear on what is the value that we are delivering. Because regardless of what industry we are in, we’re selling something.
Bernie Borges [00:08:28]:
Mhmm.
Clara Capano [00:08:28]:
But what we don’t wanna do is we don’t want to sell. We, again, wanna serve by making sure people understand the value we are bringing. The t is all about the tracking and measuring because not everything works the way that we think it’s gonna work. So you gotta sit down and start tracking and measuring. What’s working? Am I getting the results again? Is this moving me forward? So this is your checks and balances. And then finally, the why, yes, it’s time to celebrate. We need to make sure. Too many of us push the celebration off and we say, I’ll celebrate at the end of the year.
Clara Capano [00:08:58]:
No. Every day should be a celebration. So bringing it down, how are we gonna get our big goals and celebrate the big goals and then also celebrate the milestones? As simple as getting to the end of the day and saying, what are three great things that happened today that I can celebrate? Because we wanna see the beauty in each day, and that also builds the momentum. And it’s sort of a circular success module that brings everything back, and it all starts to work in conjunction.
Bernie Borges [00:09:26]:
Yeah. Okay. Well, first of all, Clara, I’m really impressed with how succinctly you describe the entire Clarity model Because I can tell there’s a lot there. And so, I would imagine that’s not the first time you’ve explained it, that succinctly. So Oh,
Clara Capano [00:09:42]:
no. I just created it this morning when I got out of bed, Bernie.
Bernie Borges [00:09:47]:
That’s not true. I know that. I know that to to be not true. Okay. So So let’s unpack it a little bit. So as people are embracing the legacy model, what does that look like? I can’t imagine it’s a single conversation. Right? I mean, what does that look
Clara Capano [00:10:02]:
like? Well, I have several different ideations on the program where people can, you know, I’ll spend an entire day with them as one way, and we will actually go through it. We always start with the c. Again, we always work through that vision first so that by the end of the day, they have what I like to call their success plan. So it’s not a business plan. It’s a success plan because, again, we want them to have success in life and business. I also have some do it yourself quarterly and quarterly and monthly so that they can take their big plan that they’ve created, but then create 30 day action plans from it, 90 day action plan. So again, they’re using it as a roadmap and as a compass to do that. And then other things that I have is I have an online community called The Lioness League, and that is a community where I offer, you know, an online portal for trainings, but then also the collaboration of the network that is there so that we can all grow and work together, and the community focuses on the 3 pillars of mindset, productivity, and leadership.
Bernie Borges [00:11:10]:
Okay. Great. Now, I’m curious. Where do people struggle the most? Everyone’s unique. I get that. But do you see any common threads on where the struggles are?
Clara Capano [00:11:21]:
Yes. I think the first one is in the vision. I think people until you really have that clarity of vision and that why, it’s very difficult to do anything else. You know, Helen Keller has a quote that I love, and she said she was asked one time if she could think of anything worse than being blind. And she said, yes. Being able to see, but having no vision. And if you don’t know where you wanna go, if you don’t have that vision for your life, how do you know the actions to take? How do you know what to track and measure? How do you know how to fill yourself up with the self care? You cannot do anything. So I think that’s the first step, and that’s where most people get confused.
Clara Capano [00:12:01]:
And when people are confused, you can’t go forward. After that, I would say it’s, you know, a combination of the actions and probably the resting, because people are out there, and there’s a difference again between being busy and being productive. And that’s where the beauty of, again, defining the right actions is so critical because we can go out there and we can just do stuff. But if we’re not doing the right things, again, everything isn’t going to happen. And then you’ve probably seen it even more than I have, Bernie. It’s like, you know, you talk to these people all the time. What goes last on the burner? It’s ourselves. And we have to, again, shift that mindset to self care is not selfish.
Clara Capano [00:12:42]:
And remembering that, again, we can’t do anything when we are not filled up ourselves.
Bernie Borges [00:12:47]:
Yeah. Well, here’s what I’ve seen with some people that I’ve been coaching, and that is on the on the vision piece. And that is really not looking at their current values. Mhmm. You can get to the vision if you really understand what your current values are.
Clara Capano [00:13:03]:
Mhmm.
Bernie Borges [00:13:04]:
And I emphasize current in front of the word values. Right? Because if you’re 45 or 50, your values are probably different than they were when you were 25 or 30 or 35.
Clara Capano [00:13:15]:
Absolutely.
Bernie Borges [00:13:16]:
And so starting there, literally putting a thought into it, documenting them, write down what are your current values. And then once you have clarity, no pun intended, on your current values, then you can begin thinking about your vision because now you’ve got a north star. You you your north star is your values.
Clara Capano [00:13:35]:
Mhmm. And that is that is again, you have to build it. And it’s, you know, it’s not necessarily that you just sit down and have this done in 5 minutes. Again, you have to go deep and really get clear on you. Again, get clear on what really makes you tick. And this is where I love that it ties to the legacy piece that you talk about too is, again, you know, what is gonna be standing? You know, what is the message that you really wanna leave behind? You know, when you look in the mirror at the end of the day, can you be proud at the person staring back at you? And it’s so important that you live by those values in everything that you do.
Bernie Borges [00:14:09]:
Exactly. Exactly. Now I know, we were talking before we started recording that you mostly serve women, but you do serve some men. Are you seeing any differences there between the women you’re serving and the men you’re serving?
Clara Capano [00:14:23]:
You know, it’s funny. I would say the way that they they talk and the way that they sort of deliver information is a little different, but at the heart of it, it’s the same. I think so many people are having this under our armor feeling of guilt. Nobody feels they’re doing enough. Everybody feels they are letting somebody down and that they are never doing enough. And so I think, again, pulling that back and, you know, helping them sort of, you know, heal this and, you know, really start to learn that our best is enough, and what we are doing is enough. But I think so many people, not just women, are teetering on the edge of burnout. Many men out there, again, are working because that’s the societal view that so many men have been given is you’re the breadwinner.
Clara Capano [00:15:11]:
You’ve gotta get out there. You’ve gotta take care of everyone. And many of them don’t know how to ask for help, but it’s from a different perspective. You know, the women I think a lot of women, we don’t ask for help because we’re trying to prove something that we are strong enough. We’re not weak. We can do it. You can count on us. Where I think the men have been told they have to do that because, again, they’re they’re the ones that are supposed to take care of everybody else.
Clara Capano [00:15:37]:
But I think a lot of us are just fighting the same battles of really understanding that, you know, we we have been giving enough and that more isn’t better.
Bernie Borges [00:15:46]:
Okay. And since you have you call it a success plan, do you see a lot of the people you work with focused on success in their career, or does it span beyond the career? Again, back to my 5 pillars. Right? Could it be about their health or their fitness or their career or their relationships or their legacy or any combination thereof?
Clara Capano [00:16:06]:
Well, when they come to me, it’s mostly career. But by the end of it, it’s incorporating all of it because I require that they look at all angles of it. Because, again, if you’re not fulfilled in all those areas, it’s that balance wheel. You’ll be out of balance. So I make sure that we talk about all the other things and talk about the relationships that are important to them, their personal growth. You know? So we really look at those. And even when I have them start to go over some of their financial goals, we talk about what are you going to do for not just business growth, but for personal growth, for family growth. So we make sure that we are looking at all of those.
Bernie Borges [00:16:43]:
Okay. Now speaking from my own personal experience as a coach, I am finding that on average, Clara, takes about 3 months of consistent conversation and accountability for sort of a cumulative effect to really take place and get to a significant place of achievement or progress. Is that kinda what you’re seeing as well, or is it different?
Clara Capano [00:17:10]:
I think a minimum of 3 months. I usually start to really have more quantitative information after about 6 months because, again, you’ve gotta get there and lay that foundation. And so much of what we do today shows up in our lives and in our business, you know, 3 to 4 months from now. So if we start today, it’s going to really start in about 3 to 4 months, but then the results start to gather. So somewhere between that 3 6 months is where we’re really gonna start to see the transformation. But, you know, a year to 18 months is really great because then we can sort of look at it from a higher level and then really use that to start building our program even deeper.
Bernie Borges [00:17:50]:
Gotcha. Yeah. I and I would agree with that. I would agree with that. I’ve also discovered that, the conversation can really, you know, veer a little bit in different directions in in a very natural way because everyone’s going through different struggles, different circumstances in their life. And so the conversation, it’s not a straight line. Right? It’s a little bit of left, a little bit of right, you know, maybe a circle and then back, you know, on a straight path and, you know, keep moving. But but it’s still it’s a cumulative thing where it’s all, like, puzzle pieces that are coming together.
Clara Capano [00:18:24]:
It is. Yeah. And I think, you know, what you said earlier of, you know, who we are in our forties is different than who we were in our twenties. And I think that’s a part of it too, and that’s why you have to constantly revisit and evolve and adapt along with it because our why, our values, they could be progressive. They will change. And so it is very important that you check-in on a regular basis to make sure, you know, that you are on point and, again, using it to help sort of craft again the beauty of the whole picture.
Bernie Borges [00:18:55]:
Now, as a coach, you’re helping people all the time. What impact has the Clarity Success Model had on you, Clara?
Clara Capano [00:19:04]:
Everything. It has changed every aspect of me. It has allowed me to be more present. You know? It’s not about being everywhere, but when you are there, be there. So I have learned how to be very present with the people that I am with and very present in the moment. It has helped me to get very granular on what I need to do and what I do not need to do so that I can make sure, again, I’m doing the right things and doing those at the highest level. I will say the point of rest. You know, before I started doing all of these things, this whole concept of vacation eluded me.
Clara Capano [00:19:44]:
And again, don’t get me wrong. I planned the vacation. I went to the airport. I got on the plane and went to the beach, but I was always tied to my work. Now I have really learned how to disconnect. Now being that so many people out there, you know, in the entrepreneurial world are, you know, it’s a labor of love. Our our our businesses are our babies. So many times, I am an early bird.
Clara Capano [00:20:06]:
So many times, I still will get up, and I’ll do my morning routine. I’ll still do my visualization. And so, you know, a few of the the bits in the morning early so that by the time everybody else gets up at 8:30 or 9, I’m done, and I can really be present and enjoy the day. So it’s just it’s really helped me. I will say I don’t I don’t feel burned out. I do a lot. I work really hard when I’m working, but I really know how to turn off, and I know how to make sure that I am living my life. And I do it without regret, without guilt.
Clara Capano [00:20:40]:
You know? Being that I’m an early bird, I go to bed early. You know? My friends will tease me because I’ll go to bed at 8:30 or 9, and they’ll tease me. And you know what? I’m okay with that because I know the legacy I wanna leave. I know that my why is to impact a 1000000 lives or more each year. I know what I need to do to get that to happen, and I’m good with that. It doesn’t matter if nobody else understands it. I know it, and that’s what drives me.
Bernie Borges [00:21:05]:
That’s great. You mentioned your friends. So tell me about what your friends have said to you besides teaching you teasing you that you go to bed early. What have they said to you about your own transformation, whether it’s friends, family, any just the people in your life.
Clara Capano [00:21:22]:
Yeah. You know, they can’t believe all the things that I get accomplished. They don’t know how I accomplish all the things that I do, being that, you know, I’m on the road 30 to 35 weeks out of the career, in addition to all the other things that I’m doing. So I think that’s the biggest thing that stands out is all the different things that I’m doing and how I can do them at such a high level. But bringing back my son, since you asked about things. You know, when I was writing my 3rd book, which is a guidebook for the working mom, I remember asking my son, who was 16 at the time, what it means to be a good mom. How would he define a good mom? And he came back with someone who supports me, someone who listens to me, someone who helps me go after my dreams. Nowhere was it someone that has dinner ready on the table at 6 PM, somebody that has an immaculate house, all these things that we are killing ourselves to do because we think that’s how they’re going to judge us.
Clara Capano [00:22:15]:
They just want us to be there for them. And I think, you know, that’s what it is too, is just understanding. And I think that even with my friends, you know, I really work hard to do at least 2 connection calls a day with the people in my inner circle, with the people that are important to me. And that is another thing. It’s that idea of maintaining the relationship. So even though I’m working at a very high level, I am maintaining the core relationships that are important to me.
Bernie Borges [00:22:42]:
Yeah. The story you just told with your son on how he, he gave you that input, it just brings it full circle back to values. Mhmm. Right? Yeah. Just understanding what your values are right now so that you know what your why is. So that is that is fantastic.
Clara Capano [00:22:59]:
And I think, again, you know, bringing it back to, you know, your messaging here, you know, this concept of fulfilled. I am happier than I have ever been. I love what I do, and I tell people this all the time. If I were to win the lottery, you know, I still would do what I do. I love it so much because I’m walking in my truth. I’m walking in my message, and I know that the people that I can connect with, I know that I am delivering value in everything I’m doing. And when, again, when you get into that point of living by your values, it feels so good. And, you know, that’s the endorphin rush that all of us should be living on.
Bernie Borges [00:23:35]:
I often say that happiness is an emotion, and it’s great. We all we all want it. I want it. But it is an emotion and it can come and go quickly depending on the reason you’re happy. But fulfillment, Clara, is immutable. Fulfillment is permanent. You can’t delete it. When you have fulfillment on some aspect of your life, it is immutable.
Bernie Borges [00:24:00]:
Okay. The thing is though, as we continue to age and life just continues to evolve for us, there’s so many areas of our life where we seek fulfillment. And that’s why I try to use, I don’t call it a clarity model like you do, but I try to bring clarity, no pun intended, to life by just putting those 5 pillars out there and just saying, don’t look at your life as one big ocean and try to boil the ocean and figure it all out. Look at the 5 pillars 1 by 1 and gain, again, no pun intended, gain clarity on each of the pillars where you are so that you can seek that immutable fulfillment that you can find in, and it doesn’t have to be in the entire pillar. Right? I mean, health. There are things that we can’t control sometimes in our health. So you may not be fulfilled on something you can’t control, but there are other aspects of health that we can control, and you can gain fulfillment in that just as one simple example.
Clara Capano [00:24:54]:
Exactly. So so well said and very true.
Bernie Borges [00:24:57]:
So what’s next, Clara? As we, bring things to a wrap here in this conversation, what’s next for you? And, of course, where can my, listener connect with you and learn more about you and just get into your world?
Clara Capano [00:25:09]:
You are so sweet. And, again, I just wanna say thank you so much for what you’re doing to be able to help other people find fulfillment because it is so important. So, you know, what’s next is I am sort of on the the clarity tour. Again, my my third book came out just, about 6 months ago, so I’m really working on getting that message out for working moms so that they can live free from guilt, overwhelm, and burnout. Launching my community, the Lioness League, and just, you know, working on getting on more stages to to share these messages so that I can help impact even more lives. And the best place for people to go is to my website, which is just claracapano.com. They can get access to everything there. And I’m all over social media just under my name.
Clara Capano [00:25:51]:
So LinkedIn, Instagram, all those good places.
Bernie Borges [00:25:54]:
Fantastic. Well, Clara, my listener knows that all that would be linked up in our show notes page, so, it’ll all be there. And, Clara, I just wanna thank you for joining me for, this episode, a maximum episode on the Midlife of Health podcast. I love what you’re doing. The the legacy success model makes so much sense. Thank you for what you’re doing. You’re impacting many, many people. I commend you for that and I’m inspired by it and I’m going to continue to follow what you’re doing, Clara.
Bernie Borges [00:26:21]:
So thank you so much for joining today.
Clara Capano [00:26:23]:
Thanks, Bernie.
