Bernie Borges [00:00:00]:
Antoniette, welcome to the Midlife Fulfill podcast, a maximum episode.
Antoniette Rose [00:00:06]:
I am thrilled to be here with you. Bernie, thank you so much for inviting me.
Bernie Borges [00:00:10]:
Well, thanks for being here. I’m thrilled to have you. And I wanna begin by introducing you to my listener. You are Antoniet Rose, founder and CEO of WPC Speakers Global. Antonia, you are widely recognized as a dynamic business and speaking strategist. You’re also the host of the SpeakPact podcast, and I have put it on my playlist and started listening to it. So I am now a full fledged listener. Love it.
Bernie Borges [00:00:41]:
And you are known as drawing out really set apart strengths in the thought leaders and and the folks that you work with that are really growing their impact and their legacy. And you the way you do that is you architect blueprints, these effective blueprints that really drive next level success. Your your notice being celebrated as the alchemist of dreams, I love that, by expertly guiding and emerging voices to bring them to high value stages. And that’s really, right up my alley in terms of my own, career journey. So I have invited your voice to today’s podcast episode to discuss finding your voice to amplify prosperity, lifestyle, and impact. So, Antonia, before we actually dive into that, I would like to hear a little bit of your backstory, and I intensely didn’t ask you before we started the recording. I wanna hear it for the first time in the recording. How did you become a prominent speaker strategist?
Antoniette Rose [00:01:43]:
Okay. You ready for this? Well, first of all, Bernie, I love what you’re doing with the Midlife Fulfilled podcast. I think that our merging together today is really perfect for your audience, and they’re gonna soon figure figure out why. I love what you’re doing for those of us who have paid our dues and are ready to maybe enter a new beautiful season of our lives. And so I’m I’m super excited about diving in to that conversation with you. My journey began at a pretty young age. It was pretty, pretty tragic story. I won’t go into all of that.
Antoniette Rose [00:02:15]:
But I decided pretty young that it was very important for voices to get heard. And I knew, I didn’t know how I was gonna do it, but I knew I was gonna devote my life to helping that happen. So I started off in publishing, and then I went into producing. I produced mega sized events where took over whole convention centers, filled up multiple hotels in a given city, and did that for quite a while. As you know, I’ve been in the industry for going on 30 years, a little over 27 years, And then I decided that wasn’t enough. Those were my stages that I was putting speakers and voices on and promoting, you know, whatever books and works that they had out there. I wanted to expand beyond that. And, little over 8 years ago, decided to start my own agency so that I could put speakers on other people’s stages.
Antoniette Rose [00:03:09]:
And where that ties into midlife fulfillment is by the time we get to our 40s or, you know, 40 mid 40s, 50s, anywhere along that line
Bernie Borges [00:03:20]:
Mhmm.
Antoniette Rose [00:03:20]:
We’ve paid our dues. Right? We’ve we’ve gotten over the awkward. We’ve gotten over the questions of what are we gonna do with our lives, hopefully, by then. And we’ve we’ve established some sort of expertise, worked at the day to day, and then we just then it’s time to kinda pass the torch and go into the next season of our lives. So that blends so well with the power of your voice, whether it’s time for you to write a book, to start a podcast, to start really getting on other people’s podcasts, or to actually start stepping foot on stages.
Bernie Borges [00:03:54]:
Okay. So, wow, there’s a lot there. I wanna unpack a little bit because I do wanna get into the whole finding your voice, part of the conversation. So it sounds to me like you went through your own sort of career transformation. And I just wanna comment on something you said that, you know, when we get into our forties or fifties, we sometimes realize that we wanna reinvent. Maybe what we’ve done for the last 20 years no longer fulfills us. But reinvention doesn’t always come easily. In fact, it can come with a lot of trepidation, a lot of stress, can impact relationships if you wake up one day and you say to your partner, I no longer wanna be this high powered, attorney that I’ve been making, you know, $3,000,000 a year as as a partner in a law firm.
Bernie Borges [00:04:41]:
You know, I wanna go do x or whatever. So do you encounter that? I mean, in helping people find their voice, are you encounter those countering those kinds of major life transitions?
Antoniette Rose [00:04:53]:
Absolutely. Right. I’d work with with doctors, high powered CEOs, so it’s kinds of of high achievers in life. And and some I’ve even worked with a paint contractor who finally decided he doesn’t wanna be climbing those ladders anymore and really powerfully transitioned, into a whole different career. But taking that IP with them, taking that beautiful curated knowledge and those lessons learned along the way, and I myself was in my fifties. I’m now approaching 60. When I made the shift from being a producer to an agent, that’s a really big jump when you’re in your midlife, right? You think you’re going to dial it down and I’m ratcheting it up and retirement? What is that? I’m not gonna sit back on an easy chair. You’ve spent your whole life becoming, and now it’s time to help others become as well.
Antoniette Rose [00:05:48]:
And I think we get to that midlife status, and we really start seeing that. Do I really need to be working the day to day? Can I equip others to do that so that I can begin really getting this knowledge out there that I’ve cobbled together, I’ve curated over the years?
Bernie Borges [00:06:04]:
It yeah. To me, the way I interpret your your point is that it’s really it’s about I’m I’m just gonna use myself as an example. It’s about leveraging my own life experiences, which includes my my career experiences. And so for me, for example, I spent 30 years in marketing. So I’ve taken I’m taking the communication skills that I’ve honed over the years. And I don’t just mean audible, but just communication across the spectrum.
Antoniette Rose [00:06:30]:
Mhmm.
Bernie Borges [00:06:30]:
And then communicating the merit of finding fulfillment across the 5 pillars of midlife, health, fitness, career, relationships, and legacy. So that’s my platform. I wanna ask you though to really dive into the the whole topic here that I invited you to discuss, and that is when you embark on a conversation with someone about this topic of finding your voice, what are those conversations like? I mean, what does it mean when you’re talking to someone about finding their voice?
Antoniette Rose [00:06:57]:
Oh, that’s a really good question because I think our our our instinct is to go hire somebody. Right? Hire somebody to tell us what to do next or to tell us how to do that thing next. I really believe that’s putting the cart before the horse. It’s the first instinct. I’m I made that mistake. My myself, I spent enough to buy another house on different mentors, different programs to really find what that next transition was gonna be for me. And I’ve I realized that I had skipped a very important step, and that was to just pull back from all of that and listen to my gut, listen to myself. And the way that I did it was through a series of questions.
Antoniette Rose [00:07:44]:
I would just ask myself. I I like to write it, but I would just ask myself open ended questions and leave it at that. And what’s really interesting about our reticular activating 6 system and and our our psyches and our our bodies as a whole is when you ask a question, there’s this drive that needs the answer. So I’m looking at myself and my ecosystem. What’s the castle I wanna build in life? You know, what’s the empire I really want to camp out in at the end of the day? Right? What is I don’t wanna dance to somebody else’s dance. I’m mixing all kinds of metaphors here, but I wanna dance to my own dance. People might have strategies that can help me achieve that, but I first need to know what it is. Then that can only come from you.
Antoniette Rose [00:08:35]:
So I just really encourage your listeners to before they go out and try to find advisors to really get in tune and in touch with what is the life that they would like to see from themselves for themselves and then reverse engineer what kinds of advisers would be helpful in getting you there. I utilize this this analogy with my clients. If I were to give you a great big white blank canvas and a magical set of paintbrushes, whatever you paint on that canvas is your life in 2 years. And what you leave out intentionally is no longer part of your life. Let’s say you’re working a 9 to 5 or your dumpy old car. Right? Whatever it might be. That’s no longer there, and what is there can magically be your life. Tell me about what that canvas would look like.
Antoniette Rose [00:09:26]:
And it is astounding. It seems very simple, but it’s astounding how much people struggle to even paint that picture for themselves because they have no clue. They don’t know. That’s the first step. You really need to know what you wanna build for your life before you start building it. So often we just hit the ground running. We’re doing our thing. We find that we’ve built this great life, but it happens to be a a mansion on a beach.
Antoniette Rose [00:09:52]:
We don’t like windy beaches. We don’t like this storms all the time. We don’t like cloudy skies or whatever it might be. We wanted a cabin in the mountains with a quiet little stream. Right? You need to know that before you start building. So that’s to me, that’s really the most critical but least utilized first step for the next journey in your life.
Bernie Borges [00:10:13]:
Okay. So, Antonia, I’m gonna get a little personal here, and I’m gonna share as I was listening to you explain that, I’m gonna share, how I’m thinking about that at this point in time when we’re recording this. And that is the following. My wife and I live in Florida. Our kids, while they were raised in Florida, they live up north in, Pennsylvania and Connecticut. And they have kids of their own, so we have all of our grandkids up north. We live in Florida, and our grandkids are in Pennsylvania and Connecticut. So our values are to be able to spend more time with them, as much time as as we realistically can.
Bernie Borges [00:10:51]:
And we’ve had some obstacles, so we’re making some changes in our life to give us the freedom, the flexibility, and the freedom to spend more time with them. And so now that’s personal. Right? But obviously, we need to revolve our careers around that. Right? So maybe you can kinda take it from there. Like, when you work with people, like, how are people sort of transitioning careers as they find their voice?
Antoniette Rose [00:11:17]:
Oh, such a good question. And first of all, I love I love grandbabies. We’re going on 13. I think I need to count them all. So
Bernie Borges [00:11:24]:
Oh, wow.
Antoniette Rose [00:11:24]:
I totally can relate to wanting wanting to be a a significant part of their lives because time time flies. Right? Time’s abandoned.
Bernie Borges [00:11:31]:
Yep.
Antoniette Rose [00:11:32]:
That is an excellent question, Bernie. And this is this is what I have found that really is powerful for me and my clients in the agency. So you get that big, beautiful picture, and then you reverse engineer. And how we reverse engineer is as you’re ticking down, you have milestones, mile markers to get to that milestone, milestone mile markers to get to that milestone, and then you get to that first mile marker that you need to reach. And as you’re climbing up to that that ultimate vision that you have, you’re evolving every step of the way. So how we approach that is each time you’ve you’ve you’ve done those mile markers, you get to that first milestone, you reassess. Because on that journey, not only have you evolved, your audience has evolved, your clients have evolved, sometimes your family has evolved. And so if you catch it soon, you just micro calibrate, correct all the steps that are are to come, and that very next step is still in line with where you ultimately wanna be.
Bernie Borges [00:12:42]:
And what about when it comes to finding your voice? There was something that, Eric Qualman said on, your podcast. When he made this point, it really resonated with me, and it kinda made me feel made me feel good about the approach that I’m taking. He said that every speaker that has found their voice is known for one thing, one specific thing that they’re known for. Simon Sinek is known for why. Right? Michael Brooks is known for happiness. I want Bernie Borges to be known for fulfillment. How how do you encounter that as you’re working with people? That one thing, is that something that happens early in the journey, or does it take time to get there?
Antoniette Rose [00:13:26]:
Absolutely. And that oh, your questions are so good there, Bernie. Bernie Borges, midlife fulfillment. Definitely follow his podcast. You know what he’s talking about. So you get the big picture, and you create the milestones and mile markers. In that, there’s clarity that boils down to one thing. It might not be obvious at first because we’re all very complex beings.
Antoniette Rose [00:13:50]:
We’ve got lots of interests. We have lots of talents. But if you really take a step back and look at that bigger picture, it it culminates from one place. So if you’re speaking about, if you’re when you look at it, if you’re referring to what that core value is in your life, all roads are gonna lead to that core value. So that should be the crux of the brand of you. You are a brand. Bernie Borges is a brand. Antoniet Rose is a brand.
Antoniette Rose [00:14:25]:
What what at the core is is the center of every from which everything else is gonna flow? And then that reflects in everything, whether you write a book, whether you start a podcast, get on stages. What I tell most of my speakers are pretty, you know, down the road, so they’re not beginners most of the time, and they have multiple talks if but no clear one thing that they can be the SME. And that’s that sub subject matter expert where you are just the no brainer. You are the one to go to for that thing. Right? For you, it would be fulfillment. Find that word, find that core value and build everything else from there. So one of the ways that we do that is the signature talk. It’s really kind of a misnomer because there’s like 100 talks in that signature talk, but there’s really just one core theme.
Antoniette Rose [00:15:21]:
And from that, through emphasis through what you really focus on through the way you language it based on the audience that you’re speaking with, it’s going to feel like an entirely different talk, but it’s not going to be an entirely different talk because it’s still, at its core, is that one core expertise that you bring to the table.
Bernie Borges [00:15:46]:
So I have this question that I wanna ask, and it’s gonna sound rhetorical. But I’m gonna ask it anyway, because I I I just wanna get your reaction to it, Antonia. What is the role of confidence? The reason I say it sounds rhetorical, because I think we need some level of confidence in finding our voice. But you’ve been doing this for so long. When you encounter people and you encounter them across the spectrum of life, what is the role of confidence in finding your voice?
Antoniette Rose [00:16:17]:
Oh, that is okay. So to me, all confidence is is clarity. When I was when when I was hiring all those high powered mentors, and they all had great value, But I was listening to so many other voices of what I should be what I could be. I didn’t buy into it. I didn’t really have clarity of that one thing that I that I want to be known for. So when I would do a video or when I would do a workshop, conduct a workshop, whatever it might be, I would stumble. I’d have to do a 108, you know, I don’t know, 50 retakes on the video, whatever it might be, because I wasn’t clear. But once you’re clear, somebody could grab you in a second and ask you to fill in and go on a stage.
Antoniette Rose [00:17:05]:
You don’t have to prepare. You already know your stuff. You’re not a jack of all trades. You have a very clear message. All you need to know is a little bit about the audience so that you can meet them where they’re at and bring them bring them to some transformation within the realm of your expertise. So I really believe that if you don’t have clarity, you don’t have confidence. You can have arrogance. You can think I am great at everything, so I can talk on everything.
Antoniette Rose [00:17:33]:
But once you have clarity and you are focused on helping others transform, there is no lack of confidence at that point.
Bernie Borges [00:17:44]:
You just gave me another question to ask, Antonia, as a follow on question. And I promise you, this is completely spontaneous. This is not a preplanned question because as as you were answering this question, it occurred to me the following, and that is, do we need to have clarity? I use the word confidence. You’re saying it’s clarity. That’s great. I’m with you on that. Do we need that clarity in order for us to find fulfillment?
Antoniette Rose [00:18:09]:
Absolutely. I believe it’s it’s my opinion that you absolutely need clarity. You need to be clear on what you want for Bernie Borges, what what you want to see in your family, what you want the legacy that you wanna leave behind, kinds of things that you want to accomplish. If you don’t have those, the you’re on unstable ground. You’re just kind of feeling your way around and do you you get you’re in this reactive state instead of being confident about your decisions. This matches my vision. So, yes, I’m gonna move forward with this, whatever it might be, a, b, c. Otherwise, you’re saying yes to a lot of things you shouldn’t be saying yes to.
Antoniette Rose [00:18:53]:
You’re saying no to some opportunities that probably would have helped you get to your goals, you know, those targets that you that you’ve set for yourself. Without clarity, you’re basically on unstable ground.
Bernie Borges [00:19:07]:
Yeah. I would agree. The only thing that I would add and so I’m I’m I’m giving you a yes, and. Right? Yes, and. I think finding clarity across those 5 pillars of health, fitness, career, relationships, and legacy are really, in my opinion, the the approach to take. Because in the absence of breaking it out across those 5 pillars, and if we just try to do that in general across on the entire spectrum of our life, I use the metaphors like trying to boil the ocean. It’s just too much. We can’t even comprehend the enormity, of it without breaking it up into those 5 pillars.
Bernie Borges [00:19:44]:
And then we can find that within those 5 pillars, we can have levels of clarity. It can be good. It can be not so good. That that sort of thing. So anyway, I just wanted to add that. But here’s my next unplanned question. This is really gonna put you on the spot here, Antoniette. We’re still recording, and I’m gonna put you on the spot and ask you, from what you know of me, how am I doing on clarity of voice?
Antoniette Rose [00:20:07]:
Well, I follow midlife fulfillment, and I follow it because I am a midlife woman who is always wanting to improve. I wanna live a maximized life, and you’re striking a chord. You and your show is striking a chord. So very important sign. Right? It might have happened upon your messaging, your podcast, or, you know, maybe you in in some sort of other setting and thought, oh, he’s nice. He’s doing great work, but then move on. Like, that would have been a really good sign that you weren’t speaking to me and and the fulfillment that I wanna see in my own life. So I can speak to that by experience.
Antoniette Rose [00:20:49]:
So in that way, you definitely you know who your audience is. You know how you wanna how you wanna reach them and touch them. And now it’s just solidifying that message and that brand, and it’s never gonna be done. It’s not one and done because the mood of the world changes cyclically cyclically, right, continuously.
Bernie Borges [00:21:10]:
Right.
Antoniette Rose [00:21:11]:
You evolve cyclically, continuously. And if you’re not in touch with that voice and that brand, I like what you said a moment ago, and it’s it’s it’s it’s very true. Like, each step of the way, as we’re checking in with ourselves, it’s okay to shift. It’s when we get into this pendulum swing where we’re just really directionless that we’re not gonna get anywhere. But determining who you wanna be doesn’t mean you’re locked in, that you’re pigeonholed. It just means you’ve got clarity, you’ve got direction, you have confidence, and you’re always going to grow. And with that, hopefully, those people who have you’ve resonated with will grow right along right along with you.
Bernie Borges [00:22:00]:
Thank you. And we’re really where I I wanna take this message is to leaders, certainly leaders in organizations, but not limited to organizations, And leaders inspiring them to lead with what I call a fulfillment centric approach. Because when the people that they’re leading feel like they’re being led with that approach, and they feel valued holistically across the entire spectrum of those 5 pillars, beginning with the leaders’ own self awareness of their own fulfillment across these 5 pillars, so that they can begin with that self awareness before they even begin leading others. So in fact, I wanna share a data point 2 data points from my thriving in midlife report, and then ask your reaction to them. One data point is 61% said that they’re highly fulfilled in their career. 61%. Then many questions later in the survey, the question was, how satisfied are you in your career? 75% said that they’re highly satisfied in their career. So 75% said they’re highly satisfied.
Bernie Borges [00:23:06]:
61% said they’re highly fulfilled. Notice the difference there. Right? What’s that? A 14 point difference?
Antoniette Rose [00:23:12]:
Spread. Yeah.
Bernie Borges [00:23:14]:
Yeah. What what do you attribute that to?
Antoniette Rose [00:23:16]:
So what satisfies you is much different than what fulfills you. So I might be satisfied in the amount of money that I’m bringing in, in the days of the week I work, in the quality of my life, my relationships, my family. But I, inside, I know that maybe I can be a little bit more effective. I can be living leaving a little bit bigger of a of a legacy, whatever it might be, and you know that inside of you. I love that you I love your 5 pillars and that it’s a very holistic approach on life and career because human tendency is we get hyper focused on building our career or we get hyper focused on building our body, whatever it might be. We’re satisfied, but we’re off kilter a bit, and we and we know that. Even if we haven’t taken it to have an examine we haven’t examined where we’re at, just inner in our inners. Right? We do know that, and so there’s a bit of a lack of fulfillment because we know we’re not reaching our greatest potential and doing our greatest work yet.
Antoniette Rose [00:24:24]:
And so there’s that kind of nagging feeling, nagging even maybe question in your head. So though while they sound very similar, satisfied, fulfilled, they’re actually 2 very, very different things.
Bernie Borges [00:24:37]:
Yeah. So yes, and and what I would add to that, Antoniette, is that fulfillment is a higher bar. It’s a higher standard than satisfied. Satisfied is simply not quite as high a bar, and so we give ourselves more pressure, if you will, to admit fulfillment. So I agree with you. Thank you for sharing that. I wanna ask for a closing thought, and that is, for those listening, obviously, they’re in some midlife stage mostly. Although, I’ve I’ve heard from a few younger people listening recently, and I’m really excited about that.
Bernie Borges [00:25:11]:
But by and large, we have a a midlife audience listening to the Midlife Fulfill podcast. What advice would you offer for those that are sort of thinking about this topic of finding their own voice? What should they be thinking about?
Antoniette Rose [00:25:24]:
You just alluded to it, and I don’t even know that you realized that you did. And that is dump the fear of loss. Dump the idea that you might make the wrong decision. So one one example that directly correlates with something you just said is some people don’t want to find their one thing because they believe that they’re gonna leave so much other opportunity out in the cold. And that’s not true. People are attracted to certainty. They’re attracted to confidence. They’re attracted to knowing that somebody specializes in something, and that’s where they can find some solutions.
Antoniette Rose [00:26:05]:
So while your target are are we professionals in midlife, you it’s going to resonate beyond me, beyond that target because your message is solid, clear, and strong. So I think when we are trying to be all to everyone and we’re trying not to leave anybody or anything out in the cold, we lose our own effectiveness. And in that, we’re kind of operating in an energy of fear versus abundance.
Bernie Borges [00:26:37]:
I love that point. Really, don’t be afraid to focus. Don’t be afraid to really hone in on that one thing or whether it’s one or whatever it is. But something that is unique and specific that, if I can sort of paraphrase, you know, passionate about. Like, I you know what I’m passionate about and just, you know, go after it and focus on that one thing. I love that. Thank you so much. Antonia, where can a listener learn more about you, connect with you, and just get into your world?
Antoniette Rose [00:27:06]:
1st place to start is speak packed, packed as in impact, speak, p a c t.com. Start following the podcast. That’s a really great way to start really looking at possibly getting your voice out there in ways you might not have considered before. So that’s a really great way. I am big on all the socials. My favorite place to hang out is LinkedIn. It’s just the number 1 the number the numeral 1, Antoniette, a n t o n I e t t e, Antoniette. And the other place is if you already know you wanna start getting your voice out there and you wanna just have a conversation with me, go to speakerbooker.com.
Antoniette Rose [00:27:45]:
Speakerbooker.com. Fantastic.
Bernie Borges [00:27:49]:
Well, Antonia, all that will be linked up in our show notes page, and my listener knows that. And I just wanna thank you for joining me today on this maximum episode of the Midlife Fulfill podcast. This is a topic that I could easily break my rule. It’s not a rule, but I generally, as you know, go about 30 minutes per episode. I could easily double that on this topic. So thank you so much. And we’re gonna continue this conversation when we stop recording. So listener, this is it for you today, and I’m gonna keep the conversation with Antonia going right now.
Bernie Borges [00:28:19]:
And we’ll see you next time. Thanks, Antonia.
Antoniette Rose [00:28:22]:
Ciao ciao for now. Thank you.
